裴若然

Abstract：Memoir from a dancer about her difficult period of rigorous training before the college entrance examination.

Keywords：dance；students； competition

中圖分類號：J624.1；J70-4 文獻標識碼：A 文章編號：1005-5312（2017）36-0095-02

Choose either the sweat above my eyebrows or the tears below my eyelashes， otherwise I had no choice. In the mid August of 2013， thanks to my teachers recommendation， I came to Xinghe Dancing Training Center. It was built on an island which was quite far from the center city， with the surroundings of expanded university city， almost over 16 campuses located here. And my top dream university — the Southern China Normal University， was one of them.

This was my first time living alone far away from home. When I showed up at the entrance of Xinghe with my big backpack and my medium-large 24 inches long suitcase， all of my new classmates were so shocked， ”You got here all alone？！” Not until then did I realize that everyone had come here with friends or parents driving along with a variety of luggage. My home was on Hannai Island so I couldn't be as that convenient as those students who came from Canton， I had to take an airplane so the suitcase would be the less the better. My mom did ask my dad to accompany me but then I refused. It was just a dancing training camp， how came so many worries？

When I was a little girl I admired those beautiful dancers decked out in fabulous costumes and doing so many fancy dance moves under the spotlight， how free and how elegant！ Later after I began learning it， I got to know what was called “Three-minutes on stage means Ten-years behind the scenes” in an old Chinese saying. I got up at 5am everyday and I was the first one arriving rehearsal room opening the windows to let some fresh air in to replace the weird smell of the mixture of sweat and wood floor. Even before I came to the camp， I got up on time everyday to do the training on the outdoor playground in school. I guess wood floor was better， by simply it would feel much painful falling on the real ground. Getting injured is a common thing， once you became a dance student， you had to live with pain. Many of my friends envied the slim body of a dancer， however they would never have a chance to know that under the glamorous clothing there were only bruises and plasters. In many occasion， even you were hurt， if you thought you could handle it， you got to continue training. At the same time， all the students who were preparing for the professional dancing exam worked really hard in different dancing camps. The biggest issue in dancing training was to fix our body-flexibility. It really HURTS. Many students started to gain an over-reaction to concentrated flexibility training so that every time when it came to leg pressing they began to cry out loud. There were a couple of weeks some neighbors nearby constantly dropping by the training center because they heard those teenagers crying on the 5th floor due to the practice. Olivia Pei， the center owners daughter who was living on the 4th floor， once told me that our crying was like an alarm clock， always on time at 7：00 in the morning. Series of stretching exercise would last nearly two hours and we had breakfast at 9am. After a short break we received ballet training in order to adjust our breathing and shape till noon. There was Chinese traditional dance class in the afternoon and coming up by endurance exercise in the evening. Our sweat was like coming from the opened water tap then falling on the wood floor， tic-tac， tic-tac， tic-tac… The sweat towels were wet after dry， dried after wet.endprint

None of us thought it was easy to stay in the dancing camp at first， but then after thinking over it carefully， we came to the conclusion that actually the teachers suffered more than us. Some of the teachers came from famous colleges with years of teaching experience. One was holding the master degree of modern dance who studied in France， and one was the assistant director of the Youth Olympic Games. They were all very young and we almost could treat them as our own elder brothers and elder sisters. Though they were young， they all reached the professional standard and mastered top useful measures of teaching， and they were very responsible. Some teachers who were in charge of the morning-run exercise， they would also get up on time every morning and then waked the students up. After that both the teacher and the students would run a circuit around the university city. We were crossing the empty streets in morning campus everyday， sometimes we started singing the most popular songs recently while running， and saying hello to the grandpas and grandmas who were also doing morning exercise outdoor too.

When I first decided to be a dancing student， there were many people trying to persuade me to give up. I was only 5 feet 1 inch and I didn't have a good shape either. Although I liked dancing， but feeling into it was not how you learning from it. First， performing dance could be really difficult sometimes because at first you have to understand the background and the meaning behind the dance， which means despite the physical training you also need to gain a cultural understanding towards what you have learnt. Second， great expense. It is never easy to get into a good university and sometimes you would pay nearly 40，000 dollars for the training of the whole year. At that time， there was another girl who was about to become an dancing student too. She was taller than me but she was also a little chubby. I didn't know how I could be so ambitious that I so desired to win. It was this arrogant attitude that really brought me into the field of dancing. However， I lost my sense of accomplishment ever since I have been living in Xinghe. After I heard one classmate （girl） who was 5 feet 7 inches losing 15 pounds within one month and another one who received micro plastic surgery on her nose before the professional dancing exam， it came to me that I had nothing to rely on （neither did I have natural beauty nor did I have a rich family） but only myself. After the New Years Eve I began to keep on a diet by just having some vegetables and little meat without any rice， I successfully controlled my weight around 93 pounds during the dancing exams.endprint

Dancing is about fighting with your physical body at all time. Sometimes I feel like I am more close to an anthlete. My parents are my biggest motivation and they always support me with their trust and love. They paid a lot for my dancing classes and it was not that easy for them， I just want to be an excellent daughter to appreciate what they have sacrificed for me. The life in dancing camp not only improved my professional level but also gained me a better way to get to know other people and to explore my potential.

I felt completely calm when I finally stepped into the dancing exam hall. The candidates were set into a group of six， there were some assistants measuring our heights and weights， then followed by the basic tests on the elements of dance. That was how the first exam went. Sounds so simple， but were the only ones who know how torturing and suffering it might be to reach out to the 1-minute perfection at the performance. In fact， waiting for the result was the most nerve-wracking part. When the day came， all the results would be posted on the wall and almost all candidates went to check if they got into the second exam， as crowded as on the exam day， nearly one thousand students rushed to the same place for the same goal. And that was just only one exam spot for one college. Many who came from far away kept looking up their names from the beginning to the end and then started over， it was hard for them to accept that they did not find their names on the list — they did not pass the exam. Suddenly they burst into tears. I happened to pass by and seeing that situation only made my heart beat even quicker， I tried to avoid seeing them crying and whispered “l(fā)et me pass please” a million times. Eventually I found my name on the list， but I was not that happy as I had thought， I only felt it was supposed to be so natural. After several days the second exam was held， usually including two pieces of complete dance， extemporizing and music knowledge. This time was a real solo show. I chose one classical dance with Chinese fan and another one named “peacock dance” originally from Southwestern China. The examiners probably would not give you enough time to finish the whole dance due to too many candidates， they could say “stop” whenever they wanted. So you had to show them the best part of your performance at the very beginning with series of amazing moves to capture their eyes and hearts.

When I got the admission offer from the Southern China Normal University， I was actually a bit afraid at one second. Because everything needed to start all over. No matter what marvelous stuff youve ever done， it was going to vanish at last anyway. All the glory will fade away， instead， I wish when I graduated from college or even in the near future， I could say， “Dance is one thing that can make me very proud of.”endprint