韓志凌

摘要: 大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四級(jí)寫作是衡量學(xué)生英語(yǔ)綜合水平和應(yīng)用能力的一個(gè)重要指標(biāo), 而學(xué)生寫作中普遍存在的問(wèn)題又直接影響了學(xué)生的寫作成績(jī)。本文從分析學(xué)生寫作過(guò)程中出現(xiàn)的錯(cuò)誤入手,教學(xué)生怎樣寫出一篇合格的作文。

關(guān)鍵詞: 大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四級(jí)作文錯(cuò)誤分析

眾所周知,大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四級(jí)的寫作考試是衡量學(xué)生英語(yǔ)綜合水平和應(yīng)用能力的一個(gè)重要指標(biāo),也是大學(xué)四級(jí)考試的一個(gè)重要內(nèi)容?？忌谶@一部分的得分直接決定其四級(jí)成績(jī)。因此寫好一篇文章對(duì)參加四級(jí)考試的學(xué)生來(lái)說(shuō)可謂至關(guān)重要,不容輕視。但學(xué)生寫作中普遍存在的一些錯(cuò)誤又影響了學(xué)生的寫作成績(jī)。在英文寫作中,學(xué)生容易犯的錯(cuò)誤可以分為兩大類:1.不切題;2.語(yǔ)言表達(dá)的錯(cuò)誤。

一、不切題

英漢不同的語(yǔ)篇思維模式是造成不切題的直接原因。漢語(yǔ)語(yǔ)篇的思維模式是中國(guó)歷史文化的產(chǎn)物,人們認(rèn)為這種方式含蓄、委婉,容易使人接受,而英美人則喜歡開門見山地?cái)⑹鲋黝}。所以我國(guó)學(xué)生在進(jìn)行英語(yǔ)寫作時(shí),由于受漢語(yǔ)語(yǔ)篇思維模式的影響,闡述時(shí)不從主題入手,不能緊扣主題進(jìn)行寫作,致使文章主題不明確,觀點(diǎn)不夠鮮明。我們來(lái)看一篇以“Trees”為題目的作文:

Trees are mans friends.We can see trees everywhere.We plant trees every year.We can make tables with trees.Trees also give us fruits to eat.I like to eat fruits very much.

該段的主題句是“Trees are mans friends”,寫作中心應(yīng)圍繞“friends”,也就是樹的用途展開。但學(xué)生沒有從friends入手闡明主題,而是繞圈子說(shuō)了些無(wú)關(guān)緊要的話。第一、二、五擴(kuò)展句偏離了樹的用途這個(gè)主題,而是說(shuō)我們到處可以看見樹木;每年都種樹;喜歡吃水果等;而且段落框架松散,這樣就屬于主題句抓不住,中心思想不明確。

再來(lái)看改寫后的段落:

Trees are mans friends.They provide man with timber,fruits and seeds.With timber,man can build houses and make furniture.Fruits are the food,which is necessary to us every day.As for seeds,they can be used to extract oil.

修改后的文章就克服了前面所犯的錯(cuò)誤,緊緊圍繞了主題句來(lái)展開,算是一篇好的作文了。

那么如何寫好一個(gè)完整的段落呢?段落一般由三部分組成:主題句(Topic Sentence);擴(kuò)展句(Development Sentence);結(jié)論句(Concluding Sentence)。下面我們分別討論。

1.主題句

主題句點(diǎn)出段落主旨,闡述全文的中心思想(central idea),各段落的主題句構(gòu)成一篇文章的骨架。主題句由兩部分組成,即主題(topic)和中心思想(controlling idea)。中心思想的作用是導(dǎo)向(control)和制約(limit)。所謂導(dǎo)向就是規(guī)定段落的發(fā)展脈絡(luò),所謂制約就是限制主題的覆蓋范圍,兩者不可分割。沒有導(dǎo)向,內(nèi)容就會(huì)離題或偏題;沒有制約,內(nèi)容就可能超出一個(gè)段落所能容納的范圍。

主題句概括段落的主要內(nèi)容,它不僅確定段落的主題,而且限制該主題在本段落詳細(xì)討論的范圍。因此主題句是整個(gè)段落的綱領(lǐng)。主題句一般位于段首,也可置于段尾或段中,考生最好將主題句放在段首,這樣較易掌握和構(gòu)思。

寫好主題句的方法:

(1)主題句應(yīng)反映作者的觀點(diǎn)或思想而非事實(shí)的陳述。

事實(shí)陳述:I passed the entrance exam and started my college life in Tianwai.

主題句:Four years of college life has taught me a great lesson in life.

(2)主題句要概括一定內(nèi)容,不要空泛,否則擴(kuò)展句將難以說(shuō)明和支持它。

空泛:The Olympic Games are exciting.

概括:In the Olympic Games the football teams from many countries compete intensely.

(3)盡量使用簡(jiǎn)單句或簡(jiǎn)潔明了的句子。

簡(jiǎn)潔:I enjoyed watching Gone With the Wind very much.

復(fù)雜:Gone With the Wind was a good film which I enjoyed watching very much.

(4)主題句應(yīng)該做到句子完整和表達(dá)的主題思想完整。

不完整:How to write a composition.

完整:How to write a composition is not an easy thing to talk about.

2.擴(kuò)展句

擴(kuò)展句是對(duì)主題作進(jìn)一步的闡述,通過(guò)給出一些例子、原因、事實(shí)來(lái)對(duì)主題句進(jìn)行解釋說(shuō)明。這是段落的主體部分,擴(kuò)展句通常包含若干個(gè)句子置于段落中間。在寫作中,擴(kuò)展句的多少、長(zhǎng)短要適中。既要把思想內(nèi)容表達(dá)清楚,敘述詳實(shí),又要注意簡(jiǎn)明扼要,重點(diǎn)突出。

(1)主要擴(kuò)展句(Major Supporting Statement)

主要擴(kuò)展句的特點(diǎn)是:圍繞段落主題句展開的每一個(gè)擴(kuò)展句本身都不要求作進(jìn)一步的說(shuō)明或證明,句與句之間的關(guān)系既相互獨(dú)立又相互連接。

例如:(主題句) There are several factors affecting climate.(擴(kuò)展句1)One factor is the mount of sunlight received.(擴(kuò)展句2)Altitude,or the height above sea level,also determines climate.(擴(kuò)展句3)The oceans have an effect on the climate of adjacent land.(擴(kuò)展句4)In addition,climate is influenced by the general circulation of the atmosphere.

主題句指出影響氣候的幾個(gè)因素。然后用四個(gè)擴(kuò)展句說(shuō)明四種因素。第一種是太陽(yáng)光的接收量;第二種是海拔高度;第三句和第四句分別是海洋和大氣環(huán)流因素。

(2)次要擴(kuò)展句(Minor Supporting Statement)是指對(duì)主要擴(kuò)展句作進(jìn)一步的事實(shí)分析和舉例說(shuō)明。它從屬于某一個(gè)或某幾個(gè)擴(kuò)展句。

例如:(主題句)I dont teach because teaching is easy for me.(主要擴(kuò)展句1)Teaching is the most difficult of the various ways I have attempted to earn my living:mechanic,carpenter,writer.(主要擴(kuò)展句2)For me,teaching is a red-eye,sweaty-palm,sinking-stomach profession.(次要擴(kuò)展句1)Red-eye,because I never feel ready to teach no matter how late I stay up preparing.(次要擴(kuò)展句2)Sweaty-palm,because Im always nervous before I enter the classroom,sure that I will be found out for the fool that I am.(次要擴(kuò)展句3)Sinking-stomach,because I leave the classroom an hour later convinced that I was even more boring than usual.

從屬于主要擴(kuò)展句2的三個(gè)次要擴(kuò)展句起著解釋說(shuō)明作用,分別解釋“red-eye,sweaty-palm,sinking-stomach”的含義,這就更加形象生動(dòng)地證明了“teaching is not easy”這個(gè)主題。

主要擴(kuò)展句與次要擴(kuò)展句的關(guān)系(relation)基本可以遵循下面的三個(gè)規(guī)則:

1)每個(gè)主要擴(kuò)展句都應(yīng)該是對(duì)主題句中表示主要思想的關(guān)鍵詞的直接、明確的說(shuō)明。

2)每個(gè)次要擴(kuò)展句都應(yīng)該說(shuō)明它的主要擴(kuò)展句。

3)含有討論說(shuō)明或分析的問(wèn)題通常既要有主要推展素材,又要有次要推展素材。

段落擴(kuò)展的方法很多,常用的擴(kuò)展方法有:描述法(Description)、定義法(Definition)、因果法(Cause and Effect)、比較與對(duì)比法(Comparison Contrast)、舉例或例證法(Example and Illustration)、分類法(Classification)等。

3.結(jié)論句(Concluding Sentence)

我們都知道文章的開頭很重要,因?yàn)楹玫拈_頭可以吸引讀者,抓住讀者的注意力。同樣,文章的結(jié)尾也很重要,好的結(jié)尾會(huì)使讀者對(duì)全文的中心思想留下深刻的印象,可以增添文章的效果和說(shuō)服力,讓人深思,回味無(wú)窮。下面就介紹幾種寫結(jié)論句最常用的方法:

(1)重復(fù)中心思想。用不同的表達(dá)方式回到文章開頭闡明的中心思想或主題句上,達(dá)到再次肯定和強(qiáng)調(diào)的效果。如:

This group of students want beauty from sports.(topic sentence)Boys want to become strong;girls want to be slim and graceful.Those who consider sports the only way of reducing weight also belong to this group.They are very careful in choosing the kind of exercise they do,and are afraid that certain sports may ruin their figures.Horizontal bars and parallel bars are the boys choice,and the hula hoop is now the girls favorite.The appropriate name for this group may be beauty-oriented sports participants.

(2)作出結(jié)論。文章最后用一句話概括全文內(nèi)容,并進(jìn)一步肯定文章的中心思想或作者的觀點(diǎn)。如:

My application was designed to draw the employers attention to my practical abilities.Specifically,I noted that I type ninety words per minute and take dictation at one hundred and thirty words per minute.Next,I indicated my past work experience on three similar jobs.Finally,I give a summary of the evaluations of my immediate superiors on the three previous jobs.In short,I stressed my secretarial skills,my experience,and my evaluations in the letter of application.

(3)作出推理。結(jié)尾句可以是基于前面細(xì)致的陳述引申出的推理。如:

Claudia is destined to be an excellent long-distance runner.First,there are her physical attributes.She is long-legged and has a tremendous stride.She also has great natural endurance and an at-rest heart rate of sixty beats per minute.Next comes her mental toughness.She is a tremendous competitor who will extend herself to exhaustion to win a race.She has the strength to block out pain and concentrate on her race during those last few hundred yards where most runners tend to wilt.Finally,Claudia surpasses most athletes in dedication.She runs five to ten miles a day in morning and evening sessions at least five days a week.She maintains this schedule ten months out of the year,and while most high school athletes sit out the summer,Claudia trains and competes in AAU competition.If she can maintain this dedication for another two years,she has an outside chance of being invited to the Olympic trials.

(4)提出展望或期望。表示對(duì)將來(lái)的展望或期待讀者投入行動(dòng)。

好的結(jié)尾句:

1)I hope that my experience raising my own children will help me be a better teacher.

2)I feel that Ive experienced the best of both cultures,and I hope to use this experience in my future work.

3)Now I know that if I enjoy something and know it is important,I can work really hard to make it a success.

差的結(jié)尾句:

1)I never want to go through such a horrible experience again.

2)I guess raising children isnt easy for anyone.

3)I can never do things I dont enjoy,but when I like something I work pretty hard at it.

二、語(yǔ)言表達(dá)錯(cuò)誤

英語(yǔ)寫作中,所謂重大語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤,通常是指語(yǔ)法和詞匯錯(cuò)誤,我們可以把學(xué)生易犯的語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤歸納為:詞匯問(wèn)題、語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤、中文式英語(yǔ)。

1.詞匯問(wèn)題

詞匯是英文寫作的基本要素。如果把語(yǔ)法比作寫作的框架,那么詞匯就是寫作的磚瓦。我國(guó)學(xué)生在英語(yǔ)寫作中常見的錯(cuò)誤類型主要有以下幾種:單詞拼寫錯(cuò)誤、詞義搭配混亂、詞型相似的英文單詞錯(cuò)用等。

2.語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤

大學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫作中出現(xiàn)的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤主要表現(xiàn)在以下幾個(gè)方面:

(1)句子混亂(Run-on Sentences)

誤:Students can realize the hardship of living they will value their work and life as well.

正:Students can realize the hardship of living.They will value their work and life as well.

(2)句子不完整(Fragmentary Sentences)

誤:We have to learn a second foreign language.Because we need to speak to foreigners.

正:We have to learn a second foreign language,because we need to speak to foreigners.

(3)結(jié)構(gòu)不平行(Faulty Parallelism)

誤:They work to prove their personal abilities,they work to realize their dreams that they cherish since childhood,and they work to enjoy themselves.

正:They work to prove their personal abilities,they work to realize their dreams,and they work to enjoy themselves.

(4)修飾錯(cuò)放(Misplaced Modifiers)

誤:Stability is almost favorable for all possibilities of economic booming.

正:Stability is favorable almost for all possibilities of economic booming.

(5)懸垂修飾語(yǔ)(修飾成分錯(cuò)位,不合邏輯)(Dangling Modifiers)

誤:Lowering the height of the truckload,the 4.5 meter high tunnel was passable.

正:The deliver men lowered the height of the truckload to pass through the 4.5-meter-high tunnel.

(6)缺少或多余句子成分

誤:Millions of people smoking in China...(缺少謂語(yǔ))

正:There are many ways lead to Rome.(多出一個(gè)謂語(yǔ))

(7)介詞、冠詞遺漏

誤:Because his mistake several people died.

正:Because of his mistake several people died.

誤:I have never seen such beautiful picture.

正:I have never seen such a beautiful picture.

(8)各種基礎(chǔ)語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤

學(xué)生在寫作中,對(duì)主謂一致、代詞一致、時(shí)態(tài)呼應(yīng)、語(yǔ)態(tài)對(duì)應(yīng)等方面的基礎(chǔ)語(yǔ)法知識(shí)掌握不是很牢固,寫出的句子有時(shí)讓人難以捉摸,不知所云。

3.中文式英語(yǔ)(Chinglish)

學(xué)生在寫作中常犯的一個(gè)通病是習(xí)慣于用漢語(yǔ)思維,然后再逐字逐句地翻譯成英語(yǔ)。雖有的句子從語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)上看合乎語(yǔ)法,但表達(dá)方式卻不合乎英語(yǔ)習(xí)慣,不是地道的英語(yǔ)表達(dá),有時(shí)可能因此鬧出笑話和誤解。

(1)誤:He is possible to come.

正:He might come.

原句是“他可能來(lái)”逐字翻譯的堆砌,然而,英語(yǔ)中possible一般用“It is possible for sb.to do sth.”來(lái)表示“某人可能做某事”。

(2)誤:Ill tell you my decision three days later.

正:Ill tell you my decision in three days.

表示未來(lái)的“三天后”,在英語(yǔ)中不能表示為three days later,而應(yīng)該是in three days。

寫作測(cè)試的是學(xué)生綜合運(yùn)用語(yǔ)言的能力,能夠集中反映出學(xué)生的英語(yǔ)水平。寫作能力的提高必須建立在大量閱讀的基礎(chǔ)上。因此,學(xué)生除了在平時(shí)寫作中盡量避免上面提到的常常出現(xiàn)的錯(cuò)誤外,更要注重平時(shí)大量閱讀英語(yǔ)文章,進(jìn)行長(zhǎng)期的反復(fù)寫作訓(xùn)練,只有這樣才能寫出好的文章。