文/徐海銘
根據(jù)英語國家的官方要求,無論是他們的公民還是歸化的移民都要求使用簡單、平實易懂的英語。說白了,就是你寫出的英語,別人一看就能明白你要說什么,而不是絞盡腦汁想半天、甚至反復尋思才能弄懂你的寫作意圖。比如,英國就這樣定義:“We define plain English as something that the intended audience can read,understand and act upon the first time they read it.”(李長栓,2008)??梢姡氐赖挠⒄Z其實就是平易簡潔、有效有力的英語。常讀《紐約時報》()、《 大西洋月刊》()、《 紐約客》()或者《時代周刊》()的人都知道,這些報紙期刊上的英語非常平實好懂。我們來看下面一個句子:
1 (a):The reorganization of the old Department into two new Departments should also include the institution of separate detailed bookkeeping (記賬) procedures and the maintenance of separate bank accounts for each.
(Gopen, 2004)
這句話語法正確,沒有絲毫不妥之處。但是,你試著閉上眼睛,請別人朗讀一遍,看看你是否能一下子聽懂句義。我估計你得全神貫注,才能抓住全句的意思。最起碼說,聽完之后,你對整個句子的語義記得不會牢靠準確。這是為何呢?我們來看看此句的語法特點。第一個詞組The reorganization of… into…是典型的名物化結構,即從reorganize…into…衍生出來的名詞短語;謂語部分是should include;它后面接續(xù)的是the institution of…,又是一個名物化結構,由動詞institute(制定、創(chuàng)立) 派生而來;另一個名物化結構the maintenance of…是由動詞maintain(保持,維持)衍生而來。也就是說,這一句話其實包含了三個名物化結構:主語是,include 后接的兩個賓語也是。它們合起來形成名物化結構語義鏈條,讓人聽起來格外費力。用心理語言學的行話說,要聽懂名物化結構的意義,需要耗費聽者/讀者很多認知資源來加工語言信息。如果第一次聽到,你會覺得整句行文呆滯、凝重,缺乏靈動活潑之感。雖然語句正確,甚至不失雅致對仗,但是缺乏活力,是“板著面孔說話”的辦公文體。
這里就牽涉到在通常情況下我們對句子的要求:有效、有力、簡潔、平易。要實現(xiàn)“有效有力”這一目的,就要多用動作動詞,讓句子本身流動起來,積蓄語勢,形成前傾的活力。如此,讀者讀起來才會感到輕松易懂。一旦句子具備活力,流動之氣就會在字里行間彌漫開來,寫作因此才會富有表現(xiàn)力和感染力。簡潔,就是做到一個句子只表達一個意思;不要把幾個或幾層含義糅合起來,一股腦兒塞進一個句子里頭。對照這樣的標準,我們可以把上述句子1 (a)還原成:
1 (b):When you reorganize the old Department into two new ones, institute separate detailed bookkeeping procedures and maintain separate bank accounts for each Department.
顯然,如果現(xiàn)在你請別人再朗讀一遍這個主從復合句,自己閉上眼睛聽,估計你會很容易記得句中的每一項內容。也就是說,你對這個句子語義的加工明顯感到輕松容易了。這歸因于三個動詞的使用,每一個意義就是一個獨立的句子。雖然when you reorganize the old Department into two new ones 作為次要內容處理了,但是,整個句子“運動”或“流動”起來了——每一句都有一個動詞,主語(施事者)和謂語(施為)自然聯(lián)系。因此,判定或者考察句子是否有效有力,可以使用這樣一個標準:讓所有動作(actions)由動詞(verbs)執(zhí)行;使所有動詞產生動作。
請再看下面這句:
2 (a):The Dean made a decision to conduct a review of the matter. (主任作出了審查這件事的決定)
(Gopen,2004)
這個句子里頭有decision、review 這樣兩個動詞的名物化形式,臃腫乏力,抽象冗長,明顯讓人覺得缺少“精氣神”??纯聪旅嫘薷暮蟮木渥尤绾危?/p>
2 (b):The Dean decided to review the matter.
主任決定干嗎?決定審查此事。語義清晰明了,句式簡練,句子流動,舒朗透氣。再看看下面美國作家John Steinbeck 在他的游記《跟查理狗狗一道旅行》()中的一段描寫:
The wind struck on the moment we were told it would, and ripped the water like a black sheet. It hammered like a fist. The whole top of an oak tree crashed down, grazing the cottage where we watched. The next gust stove one of the big windows in. I forced it back and drove wedges in top and bottom with a hand ax.Electric power and telephones went out with the first blast, as we knew they must. And eight-foot tides were predicted. We watched the wind rip at earth and sea like a surging pack of terriers. The trees plunged and bent like grasses, and the whipped water raised a cream of foam. A boat broke loose and tobogganed up on the shore, and then another. Houses built in the benign spring and early summer took waves in their secondstory windows…
(Steinbeck,2000)
Struck on( 連續(xù)襲來);ripped the water(劈開海水);hammered like a fist(像錘子一樣擊打);crashed down (啪地斷了);stove in(砸破了【一扇大窗戶】);forced back(用力頂回去);drove wedges(打入楔子);went out(熄滅);plunged and bent(【樹木】猛倒下、彎曲);raised(揚起【一層白沫】);broke loose(斷了繩),tobogganed up(像雪橇車一樣被拋上去);took waves(伴著海浪)。差不多每個句子都使用了主動語態(tài),都包含一個動感強烈的動作性動詞,句子個個“精氣神”飽滿,淋漓盡致地描摹了暴風雨侵襲的情狀。效果如何?整個場景栩栩如生,令讀者身臨其境。跟著作者一起體味狂風暴雨襲擊時的驚心動魄,讀者必定印象深刻。大風大雨來臨,自然界客觀上也不可能拖沓! 讀者腦海里浮現(xiàn)的就是狂風和海浪的各類特定景象,回憶起來特別容易。這就是有效有力、簡潔平易的句子取得的寫作效果!
最后,為了加深讀者對什么是有效有力、簡潔平易的句子的印象,我們再看一段科技英語文字:
3 (a): The effects reported in this study have one of the two explanations. Either the congeners themselves have direct and permanent effects upon the central nervous system, or there may be a retardation of the metabolism of ethanol by the congeners so that it has a stronger effect! The probability of the latter is less, because the observation of the effects occurred well after the blood alcohol concentrations were immeasurably small.
(Gopen,2004)
這一段英語滿是無效乏力的句子,不符合簡潔有效的英語標準。其最大的毛病是名物化現(xiàn)象過多,沒有做到每個句子都用動作動詞,句子缺少語流,沒有朝前傾動推進的語勢和能量(即主語后面接續(xù)動作動詞的趨向)。就段落整體而言,缺少語勢前進的方向(direction)。根據(jù)簡潔、有效、有力的標準修改一下,變成3(b)。讀者不妨比較一下,修改后的段落是否更易理解。一個檢驗句子是否容易理解的有效辦法就是你閉上眼睛,聽別人讀,如果你一聽就理解句子意思,說明句子寫得簡明、有效、有力。
3(b): We can explain our results in one of two ways. Either the congeners themselves affect the central nervous system directly and permanently, or they affect it indirectly by first retarding the metabolism of ethanol, which in turn affects the central nervous system.The“indirect” explanation is less probable, though, because we observed the effects well after the blood alcohol concentrations were immeasurably small.