張超

Im Wang Lei. I often go to school by bike. Why do I choose in① this way to get there？

There are three reasons for that. First， riding a bike is a good way to keep health②. Second， it doesnt take me a very long time to get there. Whats more， when I get to school by bike， I will not feel tired. Third， riding a bike can protect our environment. Another important reason is that riding a bike is quite an③ useful way to help lose weight.

Now you can believe what I choose is right.

河北省阜城縣第四中學(xué)八年級(jí)（9）班 王磊

點(diǎn)評(píng)

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

首先，全文層次結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，語言流暢，沒有語法和拼寫錯(cuò)誤，可讀性強(qiáng)。其次，本文用詞準(zhǔn)確、恰當(dāng)，并且巧妙、恰當(dāng)?shù)剡\(yùn)用了first、second、another important reason等一些過渡詞，使文章銜接自然、結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。詞匯quite的使用，也是本習(xí)作的亮點(diǎn)之一。最后，小作者以一個(gè)帶有賓語從句的主從復(fù)合句結(jié)尾來再次點(diǎn)題，首尾呼應(yīng)、相得益彰。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① 去掉in。choose是及物動(dòng)詞，后面直接跟名詞短語作賓語。

② health改為healthy。keep healthy是固定短語，意為“保持健康”。

③ an改為a。useful是以輔音開頭的單詞。

3. 評(píng)分：

按中考英語作文滿分20分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得18分。endprint