張超

Last Friday morning， I was on my way home from school. When I walked across the Jianzi Street， I saw an old woman stand① by the road. She looked worried. So I came up to her and asked what she was worrying about. “I want to across② the road， but the traffic is too busy for me.” Then I helped her walk across the road safe③. She thanked me very much. I said“Goodbye” to her and went home happily. I think④ I had a good day.

1. 優(yōu)點：

本文描寫了小作者放學回家途中幫助老人過馬路的一事，體現(xiàn)了小作者助人為樂的精神。文章語言流暢，敘事清晰，結構嚴謹，層次分明，過渡自然。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①stand改為standing。see sb. doing sth.意為“看見某人正在做某事”。

②across改為cross。across和cross都有“穿過”之意，但前者是介詞，而后者才是動詞。

③safe改為safely。本句中動詞是實意動詞，故用副詞修飾作狀語。

④think改為thought。本文故事發(fā)生在上周五，故時態(tài)需用一般過去時。

3. 評分：

按中考英語作文滿分20的評分標準，本文修改前可得18分。