【Abstract】:This paper centers on the comparison between the translations of the first paragraph of the famous American novel Rip Van Winkle by Chen Dengyi and Wan Zi amp; Yu Ning. Through the detailed discussion in the paper, the core of different translation strategies and words choices in accordance with different aims for translation can be felt. It can also be considered as a guide for the analysis of other texts’ translations.
【Key words】: comparison, translation strategies, analysis.
1.Analysis of Source Text
1.1 Theme
The source text describes the beautiful natural scenery of the Catskill Mountains where the protagonist of the story—Rip Van Winkle just lived. The author, Washington Irving, created a harmonious and tranquil atmosphere at the beginning of the story in order to provide a basis for the narration of the following parts. His depiction about the mountain adds its mystery and unpredictability, which in turn paves the way for Rip’s mystical adventures in the mountain.
Through Rip Van Winkle, the author wants to express his obsession on the traditional culture and life. After the American Revolutionary War, the citizens in America were at a loss about their life which was undergoing huge changes. In terms of this, Irving agrees on the preference of the past, which is reflected by the peaceful natural scenery, to the present. Irving’s conservative attitude towards revolution can also be seen from the story.
1.2 Style
1.2.1 American Romanticism
Washington Irving is a typical writer in the period of American Romanticism which covers the first half of the 19th century. A rising America with its ideals of democracy and equality, its industrialization, its western expansion, and a variety of foreign influences were among the important factors which made literary expansion and expression not only possible but also inevitable in the period immediately following the nation’s political independence.
Yet romantics frequently shared certain general characteristics: moral enthusiasm, faith in value of individualism and intuitive perception, and a presumption that the natural world was a source of goodness and man’s societies a source of corruption. Romantic values were prominent in American politics, art, and philosophy until the Civil War. The romantic exaltation of the individual suited the nation’s revolutionary heritage and its frontier egalitarianism.
1.2.2 Writing stories based on his self-experience and preference
Washington Irving’s parents were Scottish-English immigrants. From 1819 to 1820, he lived in countryside of Britain, leading to his yearning and infatuation on the countryside scenery. Moreover, Irving is a fan about European culture and legends. This story was just adapted from a German folklore. The overall social background of it was also the same as the real life background of Washington Irving himself. And Washington lived just along the Hudson River, where the village of Rip sat, too. The author indirectly integrated his own experience into his workings to show the real American life.
1.2.3 Distinctive features of Irving’s works
First of all, he combined the European culture with the American natural scenery and real life together to reveal the theme. Irving wrote The Sketch Book during a tour of Europe. That is why parts of the tale may be traced to European origins. The headless horsemen in the speculative story of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow were staples of Northern European storytelling.
Second, the element of humor and sarcasm has built itself into the very texture of his writings, although we cannot tell it from the first paragraph discussed. An example to illustrate the author’s sarcasm is the depiction of Nicholas Vedder and other idlers in the village. “…a kind of perpetual club of the sages, philosophers, and other idle personages of the villages…”, “The opinions of this junto were completely controlled by Nicholas Vedder, a patriarch of the village, at the door of which he took his seat from morning till night, just moving sufficiently to avoid the sun, and keep in the shade of a large tree…as accurately as by a sun-dial.” and “His adherents, however (for every great man has his adherents), perfectly understood him, and knew how to gather his opinions.” Those idlers were called “sages” and “philosophers”. Nicholas, as the “patriarch”, was always sitting under the tree in front of the inn so that people could tell the time by his position. And his “adherents” were always trying to figure out his mind.
Third, he is good at enveloping his stories in an atmosphere to enrich the whole story which is just the role the first paragraph plays overall. He was also greatly influenced by the Gothic culture. Many of his works are concerning such kind of culture such as The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
1.3 Language features
Washington Irving is the first American author to adopt geographical description about the nature in the writings. He used vivid and refined words to reappear the real scenery for the readers. We can also see that the author uses humorous language to entertain, meanwhile showing his concern about the theme.
The majority of the sentences in the source text are structured in SVO (Subject-Verb-Object) and SLVP (Subject-Link Verb-Predicative). Among them, many clauses are used including subject clause “whoever has made a voyage…”, adverbial clause of time “when the weather is fair and settled…but, sometimes, when the rest of the landscape is cloudless…” and attributive clause “…gather a hood of gray vapors about their summits, which, in the last rays of the setting sun, will glow and light up like a crown of glory.”
1.4 Artistic skills
Washington Irving uses personification to invest the Catskill Mountains with human qualities. They are part of a “family”, a proud, majestic member, “l(fā)ording it over the surrounding country.” They are also active, reacting to the weather and the seasons with changes in their “magical hues and shapes. “They are clothed in blue and purple, and print their bold outlines on the clear evening sky.” Making the mountains come alive enables them to become mysterious and unpredictable; they may even play tricks on those who venture within their confines.
The author compared the setting sun to “a crown of glory”. In the following paragraph, there are also examples of the application of simile like “……with a rod as long and heavy as a Tartar’s lance”, “he was generally seen trooping like a colt at his mother’s heels……” and “the neighbors could tell the hour by his movements as accurately as by a sun-dial.”
2. Analysis of Target Text One
陳登頤:
凡是在哈得遜河溯流而上的人,想必記得卡慈吉爾群山,那是阿帕拉欽山脈的一支斷脈,在河之西岸,巍巍然高凌云天,威震四野。寒來暑往,晴雨風(fēng)雪,群峰的姿容色彩,都會發(fā)生奇妙的變化,甚至每日每時(shí)也變幻不定,真是山光巒影,儀態(tài)萬千。遠(yuǎn)近的主婦都會根據(jù)山色來判斷晴雨。天氣晴朗恬靜的時(shí)候,層巒疊嶂披上青翠紫黛的衣衫,雄渾奇?zhèn)サ纳接扳庵宄旱南?,輪廓異常分明。但有時(shí),雖然晴空萬里,山頂上卻纏繞著團(tuán)團(tuán)云嵐,在夕陽返照之下,像一頂璀璨的皇冠熠熠然光彩奪目。
2.1 Language features
2.1.1 Word features
First of all, four-character words in Chinese are often used. Dengyi Chen is an educator, who also devoted himself to translating. We can see from the translation that the translator used very immersive and fluent Chinese to inform the readers such as “姿容色彩”,“高凌云天”,“儀態(tài)萬千”,“雄渾奇?zhèn)ァ保?“層巒疊嶂” and “光彩奪目”.
Moreover, there are many single characters in neat and balanced form with each other such as “寒” and “暑”, “來” and “往”, “光” and “影”, “山” and “巒”, “層” and “疊”, and “翠” and “黛”. Indeed, each single character has exactly the same meaning with the other. But the application of both of them can increase the readability and aesthetic feeling of the text. Based on the social background of the translator, the translation version adds the immersive to the readers so that the readers can better understand the main idea of the text.
Third, the translator borrowed many traditional Chinese words in the translation.
①“四野” from “敕勒川,陰山下,天似穹廬籠蓋四野” which stands for the surrounding country.
②“寒來暑往” from “日月盈昃,晨宿列張,寒來暑往,秋收冬藏” which stands for the changes of the seasons.
③“層巒疊嶂” from “層巒疊嶂,隱天蔽日,自非亭午夜分,不見曦月” which stands for the peaks rising one after another.
④“云嵐” from “熙熙風(fēng)土暖,藹藹云嵐積” which stands for the vapors in the mountain.
Several classical Chinese characters appear in the translation text as well such as “然” and “之”, which can enhance the classical beauty of the translation.
2.1.2 Sentence structures
Complex sentences and multiple complex sentences are often applied in the source text. Complex sentences with successive relation and transitional complex sentences can be found in the text. The sentence of “天氣晴朗恬靜的時(shí)候,層巒疊嶂披上青翠紫黛的衣衫,雄渾奇?zhèn)サ纳接扳庵宄旱南?,輪廓異常分明?is an example of complex sentences with successive relation which stands for two or more clauses describing the continuous activities. Also, the sentence of “雖然晴空萬里,山頂上卻纏繞著團(tuán)團(tuán)云嵐,在夕陽返照之下,像一頂璀璨的皇冠熠熠然光彩奪目” is a transitional complex sentence with the signal words of “雖然” and “卻”. There also exists an exclamatory sentence of “真是山光巒影,儀態(tài)萬千”. “真是” is an signal words for exclamatory sentences in Chinese.
2.2 Artistic skills
A rhetorical device is a technique with the goal of persuading readers towards considering a topic from a different perspective, using sentences designed to encourage or provoke a rational argument from an emotional display of a given perspective or action. Such kind of language use can create a literary effect.
A simile is a figure of speech that directly compares two things. It explicitly use connecting words such as “像”, “如”, “好比”, etc. In order to be a faithful translation, the translator also applied simile in the translation text, and that is “在夕陽返照之下,像一頂璀璨的皇冠熠熠然光彩奪目”. The application of simile can add the vividness and picturesqueness for the translation text.
Personification is a figure of speech where human qualities are given to animals, objects or ideas. Personification gives human traits and qualities, such as emotions, desires, sensations, gestures and speech, often by way of a metaphor. In the source text, Irving also personified the mountains in the sentence of “they are clothed in blue and purple, and print their bold outlines on the clear evening sky”. In the translation, Dengyi Chen chooses to follow the guidelines in the source text and he translated “clothed” into “披上”.
It is difficult to apply the rhetorical device of reiterative location in English. But the proper use of it in Chinese can add the readability to the text. “巍巍然” , “團(tuán)團(tuán)” and “熠熠然” in the translation text, compared with the source text, enjoys a higher level of phonetic aesthetic feelings.
2.3 Translation strategy
2.3.1 Foreignization
Domestication and foreignization are strategies in translation, regarding the degree to which translators make a text conform to the target culture. Foreignization is the strategy of retaining information from the source text, and involves deliberately breaking the conventions of the target language to preserve its meaning. In the source text, there are many geographic locations which may not be familiar with the readers in target language such as “Hudson”, “Catskill”, and “the great Appalachian family”. The translator chooses to foreignize these words in the translation which is to directly take a word from one language into another. We can see from the target text one that the translator transliterates these words into “哈得遜河”, “卡慈吉爾群山” and “阿帕拉欽山脈”.
2.3.2 Amplification
Amplification, also called addition, means supplying necessary words in translation on the basis of accurate comprehension of the original. Many ideas, idiomatic expressions and shortened words etc. that are well understood in the country of their origin can hardly make any sense to people abroad. Amplification is adopted in such occasions.
In the target text one, the translator amplifies the sentence of “真是山光巒影,儀態(tài)萬千”. In the source text, Irving described the amazing changes of the mountains in the long term. “真是山光巒影,儀態(tài)萬千” is added by the translator himself to convey his own opinions about the beautiful scenery. The application of exclamatory sentence serves to emphasize on the beautiful scenery. Also, “they are clothed in blue and purple, and print their bold outlines on the clear evening sky” is translated into “層巒疊嶂披上青翠紫黛的衣衫,雄渾奇?zhèn)サ纳接扳庵宄旱南?,輪廓異常分明? We can see that “雄渾奇?zhèn)サ纳接啊?is added by the translator in order to make the clause complete in the subject.
2.3.3 Division
Division is preferable in the translation in the long sentences. Based on the translator’s understanding, the long sentence is divided into several parts so that the logic connection within are more clear.
In the source text, Irving depicted the scenery as “every change of season①, every change of weather②, indeed, every hour of the day③, produces some change in the magical hues and shapes of these mountains④.” The sequence of these parts in the sentence is originally ①②③④. In the target text one, the translator translated the sentence into “寒來暑往①,晴雨風(fēng)雪②,群峰的姿容色彩,都會發(fā)生奇妙的變化④,甚至每日每時(shí)也變幻不定③”. And the sequence becomes ①②④③.The application of division here stresses its unpredictability.
2.3.4 Liberal translation
Liberal translation is also called free translation, which does not adhere strictly to the form or word order of the original. It is better for the readers of the target language to understand and resonate with the narration. There are many examples in the target text one to elaborate on this point. “every change of season” is translated into “寒來暑往”, and “every change of weather” is translated into “晴雨風(fēng)雪” indirectly.
2.3.5 Conversion
The translation strategy of conversion is the shift of perspective including the change of the word class, sentence segment, word order, voice etc. In the sentence of “they are regarded by all the good wives, far and near, as perfect barometers.” in source text, “barometers” is a noun. While in the translation, it is converted into a verb as “判斷晴雨”.
2.4 Translation criticism
Although foreignization is more faithful to the source text compared with domestication, many readers actually cannot understand these geographic locations without further explanations. Therefore, brief introduction of these geographical names is highly suggested. For example, the translator can further explain “哈得遜河” as “美國紐約州的一條長河”, “卡慈吉爾群山” as “阿利根尼高原的切割部分,大部分位于紐約州東南部” and “阿帕拉欽山脈” as “位于美國東部,北美洲懂不巨大山系”.
The application of omission is based on the translators’ own judgments. From their perspectives, if some words in the source text are unnecessary in the translation, they will be omitted. However, translation is also limited within the source text. Sometimes, the omission of certain words will lead to the ambiguity of the text.
3. Analysis of Target Text Two
萬紫、雨寧:
凡是在哈得遜河上游航行過的人,必定記得卡慈吉爾叢山,那是阿帕拉欽山脈的一支斷脈,在河的西岸,巍巍然高聳云端,威凌四周的鄉(xiāng)村。四季的每一轉(zhuǎn)換,氣候的每一變化,乃至一天中的每一小時(shí),都能使這些山巒的奇幻的色彩和形態(tài)變換,遠(yuǎn)近的好主婦會把它們看作精確的晴雨表。天氣晴朗平穩(wěn)的時(shí)候,它們披上藍(lán)紫相間的衣衫,把它們雄渾的輪廓印在傍晚清澄的天空上,但有時(shí),雖然四處萬里無云,山頂上卻聚著一團(tuán)灰霧,在落日的余輝照耀之下,像一頂燦爛的皇冠似的放射著異彩。
3.1 Language features
Wan Zi and Yu Ning are renowned Chinese translators who are good at faithful translations with simple and plain words consistent with the source text to convey the intended meaning of the text to the readers. Although they stick to the source text, the translation text still makes sense to the Chinese readers and enjoys a high level of readability.
Similar with the target text one, complex sentences and multiple complex sentences are widely used in target text two. Furthermore, many sentences in the target text two are structured with the character “把”, which stresses the consequences and the approach of the actions. Since the core of the first paragraph is the natural background of the whole story, “把” structure can enable the mountains to be active which in turn adds the vividness to the text. There are two such sentences as “遠(yuǎn)近的好主婦會把他們看作精確的晴雨表” and “把它們雄渾的輪廓印在傍晚清澄的天空上”.
3.2 Artistic skills
From what we have discussed about, we can see that there is originally the rhetorical device of simile in the source text. And that is why in both of the target text one and target text two, there are also the applications of simile. In target text two, the sentence of “在落日的余輝照耀之下,像一頂燦爛的皇冠似的放射著異彩” is just the example of simile.
In the source text, “l(fā)ord” and “are clothed” are both reflections of the application of personification. In target text two, they are translated into “威凌” and “披著……衣衫”, which also apply the rhetorical device of personification.
Many assonance words also appear in the target text two. It signifies two or more characters with the same vowel formation like “轉(zhuǎn)換”, “燦爛”, “照耀” and “變換” which enjoy high level of readability and add phonetic aesthetic feelings to the translation text.
3.3 Translation strategy
3.3.1 Foreignization
Similarly, many culture-loaded words are transliterated in the target text two. In the language system, the words which can best embody the language carrying cultural information and reflecting the social life of human are culture-loaded words. “Hudson”, “Catskill Mountains” and “the great Appalachian family” are not familiar with Chinese readers. We cannot find the exact correspondences in Chinese. That is why the translator chooses to foreignize these words as “哈得遜河”, “卡慈吉爾叢山” and “阿帕拉欽山脈”.
3.3.2 Literal translation
Literal translation strives to reproduce both ideological content and the style of entire literary work, retain as much as possible the figures of speech and the main sentence structures of patterns in the source text. For example, “Every change of season, every change of weather, indeed, every hour of the day” is translated into “四季的每一轉(zhuǎn)換,氣候的每一變化,乃至一天中的每一小時(shí)” which is totally consistent with the source text.
3.4 Translation criticism
Similarly, foreignization will give rise to misunderstanding and ambiguity if there is no further explanation. Therefore, adding brief introduction after every geographical location is highly suggested.
Literal translation is totally faithful to the source text, which means that the translator can convey all the necessary information to the readers from the source text. However, since English and Chinese have totally different sentence structures and vocabularies, literal translation will lead to broken Chinese in translation.
For example, “Every change of season, every change of weather, indeed, every hour of the day” is translated into “四季的每一轉(zhuǎn)換,氣候的每一變化,乃至一天中的每一小時(shí)” which is totally consistent with the source text. Although we can understand this sentence in Chinese, we will not use such sentence structures and vocabularies in our daily lives.
4. Comparison between Target Text One and Target Text Two
4.1 ST: Whoever has made a voyage up the Hudson must remember the Catskill Mountains.
TT1: 凡是在哈得遜河溯流而上的人,想必記得卡慈吉爾群山
TT2: 凡是在哈得遜河上游航行過的人,必定記得卡慈吉爾叢山
The translation of “made a voyage up the Hudson” in the target one is more concise and elegant. But, “溯流而上” does not reflect the past tense in the original text. Also, in Chinese, “想必” is often used in “想必是…” instead of “想必+verb”. Therefore, “必定記得” is more appropriate and faithful to the source text.
4.2 ST: They are a dismembered branch of the great Appalachian family, and are seen away to the west of the river, swelling up to a noble height, and lording it over the surrounding country.
TT1: 那是阿帕拉欽山脈的一支斷脈,在河之西岸,巍巍然高凌云天,威震四野。
TT2: 那是阿帕拉欽山脈的一支斷脈,在河的西岸,巍巍然高聳云端,威凌四周的鄉(xiāng)村。
“凌” can highlight that the height of the mountains may even match the sky. In the source text, “l(fā)ord over” can be regarded as the application of personification. “威凌” can better convey the original meaning of the source text to the readers. But, in terms of the translation of “the surrounding country”, “四野” is more concise and classic than “四周的鄉(xiāng)村”.
4.3 ST: Every change of season, every change of weather, indeed, every hour of the day, produces some change in the magical hues and shapes of these mountains.
TT1: 寒來暑往,晴雨風(fēng)雪,群峰的姿容色彩,都會發(fā)生奇妙的變化,甚至每日每時(shí)也變幻不定,真是山光巒影,儀態(tài)萬千。
TT2: 四季的每一轉(zhuǎn)換,氣候的每一變化,乃至一天中的每一小時(shí),都能使這些山巒的奇幻的色彩和形態(tài)變換
First of all, in the target text one, the translator translated the subject of “every change of season, every change of weather” into temporal adverbial, while the translators in the target text two kept the original structures and forms in the source text.
Secondly, the translation strategies towards “Every change of season, every change of weather” are different. “寒來暑往,晴雨風(fēng)雪” in target text one is more concise and readable for Chinese readers.
Thirdly, the translator in the target text one moved the translation of “indeed, every hour of the day” to the end of the sentence to put more emphasis on the mountains’ unpredictability. The target text two keeps the original sentence sequence in the translation.
Fourthly, Chen Dengyi expresses his own views in the translation by an exclamatory sentence of “真是山光巒影,儀態(tài)萬千”, which can also stress the changeable environment in the mountains.
4.4 ST: And they are regarded by all the good wives, far and near, as perfect barometers.
TT1: 遠(yuǎn)近的主婦都會根據(jù)山色來判斷晴雨。
TT2: 遠(yuǎn)近的好主婦會把它們看作精確的晴雨表。
In the target text one, the translator applied the translation strategy of omission. He translated “the good wives” into “主婦” instead of “好主婦”. Although target text two is more faithful to the source text, “好主婦” does not make much sense in Chinese. Therefore, the translation of “主婦” is more appropriate.
In the source text, “barometers” is a noun while in the target text one, it is translated into a verb by the application of conversion of word classes.
4.5 ST: When the weather is fair and settled, they are clothed in blue and purple, and print their bold outlines on the clear evening sky;
TT1: 天氣晴朗恬靜的時(shí)候,層巒疊嶂披上青翠紫黛的衣衫,雄渾奇?zhèn)サ纳接扳庵宄旱南?,輪廓異常分明?/p>
TT2: 天氣晴朗平穩(wěn)的時(shí)候,它們披上藍(lán)紫相間的衣衫,把它們雄渾的輪廓印在傍晚清澄的天空上
In terms of the translation of “settled”, “恬靜” is more appropriate than “平穩(wěn)”. In Chinese, the collocation of “平穩(wěn)的天氣” is seldom used. And, “天氣恬靜” in the target text one can be seen as the rhetorical device of personification.
4.6 ST: But sometimes, when the rest of the landscape is cloudless, they will gather a hood of gray vapors about their summits, which, in the last rays of the setting sun, will glow and light up like a crown of glory.
TT1: 但有時(shí),雖然晴空萬里,山頂上卻纏繞著團(tuán)團(tuán)云嵐,在夕陽返照之下,像一頂璀璨的皇冠熠熠然光彩奪目。
TT2: 但有時(shí),雖然四處萬里無云,山頂上卻聚著一團(tuán)灰霧,在落日的余輝照耀之下,像一頂燦爛的皇冠似的放射著異彩。
First of all, in terms of the translation of “cloudless”, in target text one, the translator translated the negation into assertive words. While in the target text two, the translator stuck to the original expression in the source text.
Secondly, in terms of the translation of “gather”, although “聚” is more faithful to the source text, “纏繞” can create dynamic effects for readers.
Thirdly, “團(tuán)團(tuán)云嵐” applies the rhetorical device of reiterative location. Also, “云嵐” enjoys a higher level of elegance and readability than “灰霧”.
Fourthly, “in the last ray of the setting sun” is translated into “在夕陽返照之下” which is more concise than the translation of “在落日的余輝照耀之下” in the target text two.
Fifthly, “放射著異彩” in target text two is inappropriate in Chinese. “放射” can be replaced by “散發(fā)”.
5. Bibliography
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