張敏

本文以兩篇讀后續(xù)寫模擬題為例，結(jié)合考生遇見的具體問題來探討如何找續(xù)寫線索。

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

After his wife died， Dan Peterson didnt know what to do with himself. The 81-year-old man spent a lot of time in his garden remembering his wifes favorite flower， the white rose.“Ive never been able to get a white rose to grow -- all mine are red，” Peterson said.

Before she died， Dan and his wife would do everything together. Now， the world just felt dark.“Im sitting here staring at the back window of my house， just waiting it out to see how long I was going to live，”he said.

One day on a grocery run， Dan felt particularly blue. He hadnt shaved for a couple of days and hadnt had a haircut probably for three months.

Tara Wood was at the grocery store that day with her four-year-old daughter. Tara thought Dan didnt look like the friendliest man -- but that didnt stop Norah， her daughter. Norah was bouncing up and down. Suddenly she stopped， pointing at Dan， and said，“Hi， old person！ Todays my birthday.”

Dans face lit up. He responded to Norah with，“Well hi， little lady！ How old are you today？” Little Norah demanded that he give her a hug and take a picture with her. So the 81-year-old and 4-year-old had a photo taken and exchanged hugs. Norah likes old people very much because they walk slowly like her， and they also need friends.

“It was only a 10-mimute encounter at the grocery store， but it felt magical and heart-warming，”the mom said.“Norah seemed to know Dan needed some extra cheer.”

Tara posted the photo on Facebook and a woman recognized the old man. She wrote in the comments that she knew Dan， and that it was the first time shed seen him smile since his wife died. Tara later found Dan on Facebook and asked if they could go over to his house for a play date. Of course， the answer was yes. And the mother was planning a visit.

注意：

1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2. 請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Para1. When Norah heard of her mothers plan， she was very happy. ...

Para 2. The mother and her daughter have been visiting him weekly， ever since. ...

在這一篇讀后續(xù)寫中，大部分學生能很好地捕捉到主題——來自Norah的愛給老人帶來了希望。學生也能夠很好地把握第一段續(xù)寫的線索，那就是Norah 在去拜訪Dan前做的準備以及拜訪時的情形，不過為了增強續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與原文情景的融洽度，也需要從文中找到續(xù)寫點進行續(xù)寫。

第二段給出的開頭句沒有很明顯的續(xù)寫點，即是對后面的續(xù)寫內(nèi)容沒有很強的限制性。在遇到比較開放性的段落開頭語時，大部分學生存在以下兩個問題：

一是找不到可續(xù)寫的點導致內(nèi)容脫離主題;

二是續(xù)寫內(nèi)容圍繞主題展開，但是缺乏和原文線索的呼應(yīng)。

因此不管是有很好續(xù)寫點的第一段，還是沒有明顯續(xù)寫點的第二段，我們都需要在原文中找線索來進行續(xù)寫。我們應(yīng)如何從原文中找線索進行續(xù)寫呢？

1. 一段一線索

即以段落為單位去尋找線索。

2. 契科夫法則

在故事開頭出現(xiàn)過的物品（名詞）一定要在后來用到，否則，它壓根就不應(yīng)該出現(xiàn)。

3. 情感呼應(yīng)

4. Problem-Solution

5. 結(jié)尾升華主題

6. 首尾呼應(yīng)

One possible version：

When Norah heard of her mothers plan， she was very happy. She couldnt wait to see Dan at once. Hardly had they met Dan in his yard when Norah shouted excitedly. She ran right up to him as if she had known him all of her life and she was climbing all over him like a monkey.“And of course every time I turned around， shed come back to me and hug me again，”Dan said with his eyes twinkling with pleasure.（情感呼應(yīng)）Hugs（契訶夫原則） are so powerful that it can shake Dan to the core and wake up the liveliness within. When it was time to leave， Norah and her mom passed the rose bush by the door. Dan picked a big red rose（契訶夫原則） and gave it to Norah， saying，“This is a symbol of our friendship.”（一段一線索）

The mother and her daughter have been visiting him weekly， ever since. Every time they went there， the old and the young would play games and tell each other secrets. Norah considers Dan as a family member and Dan has never felt lonely ever since.（Problem-Solution）“Norah helped me recover from my sadness（情感呼應(yīng)）and gave me something to live for，”（一段一線索） Dan said， with a fresh shave and haircut.（一段一線索） Its the love of Norah that changed Dan from the inside out. Only a small act of love can make a great difference to others. （結(jié)尾升華主題）/Not only did Dan regain the hope to live， but also regained the confidence to get a white rose to grow. From then on， Dan had spent a lot of time in his garden taking care of his both red and white roses.（首尾呼應(yīng)）

靈活運用

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Ahn carefully cleaned windows， a boring necessity for her familys new Vietnamese restaurant. They had turned the building from homely to splendid， but everything had to be absolutely perfect： unique decorations， skillful employees， and fabulous traditional food. Then customers would love the place， making the business a success.

Something attracted her attention as Ahn looked outside the restaurant— a girl about her age， with abundant red hair， wandered around the street. Ahns family had recently moved to this neighborhood， so she had few friends.

The girl paused to study the sign announcing their opening and then looked directly at Ahn with a smile. Ahn smiled back and lifted a hand， accidentally waving with the cleaning cloth. The girl laughed at her amusement and waved back.

Ahn hesitated， not accustomed to starting friendship， but she felt courageous， so she opened the door.“Hello，”she said， adding the first thing that entered her head，“do you like Vietnamese food？”

“I dont know， but I like to try new things，”the girl remarked， and then she introduced herself as Cabriela.

Ahn could not think of additional conversation until she had a sudden idea.“Please wait here，”she requested， “and Ill be right back.”She ran in to the kitchen and explained her idea to her father. He was sympathetic， so seconds later Ahn presented a small package to Cabriela. It came as a complete shock. Cabriela was too surprised to accept the unexpected gift from a stranger.

注意：

1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2. 請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Para1：“Some Vietnamese candy for you to try，”she explained.“If you enjoy it， I hope youll return to the restaurant sometime.”

…

Para 2： As they shared the treats.

…

One possible version：

“Some Vietnamese candy for you to try，”she explained.“If you enjoy it， I hope youll return to the restaurant sometime.”Hesitating for a while and then accept the package， Gabriela flushed， whose heart beat wildly because of excitement and surprise. When she headed down the street， she glanced back with a cheerful wave. Ahn spent the remaining afternoon， hoping Gabriela really would return. The following day， Ahn was tidying the tables when she heard unexpected tapping and turned to see Gabriela waving to her with a plate covered with transparent plastic wrap. Ahn grinned with enthusiasm（情感呼應(yīng)）and opened the door with an exciting greeting. Gabriela presented the plate with some biscuits to thank Ahn for the delicious candy.“（契訶夫原則）Come in， and we can have some biscuits right now，”Ahn invited nervously， happy inside. Delighted to agree， Gabriela followed Ahn to the restaurant and sat at the table（契訶夫原則）.

As they shared the treats， it occurred to Gabriela that Ahn might need some help.“I am good with vocabulary and design，” she said.“I saw your sign（契科夫原則）and I think I can help with an attractive poster for your restaurant.”“Marvelous！” Hearing the offer， Ahn beamed with joy.（情感呼應(yīng)）Gabriela added，“Im delighted you moved into the neighborhood and thrilled I have a new friend.”（契科夫原則）Ahn grinned， now positive that the restaurant would make a wonderful impression on the community， that customers would be plentiful， and that she was going to enjoy life with her new friend greatly.（Problem-Solution）（首尾呼應(yīng)）Changes in life may bring problems at times， but they also bring you surprise.（結(jié)尾升華主題）

責任編輯 蔣小青