浙江 陳吉鳳 王莉紅

抓住“四個(gè)關(guān)鍵步驟” 突破英語(yǔ)概要寫(xiě)作

浙江 陳吉鳳 王莉紅

依據(jù)《普通高中高等學(xué)校招生統(tǒng)一考試英語(yǔ)科考試說(shuō)明（高考綜合改革試驗(yàn)省份試用第一版）》可知，浙江英語(yǔ)高考書(shū)面表達(dá)變成了應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作和讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)或概要寫(xiě)作。其中概要寫(xiě)作選材詞數(shù)在350詞以內(nèi)，體裁沒(méi)有限制，以說(shuō)明文、議論文和記敘文為主。閱卷時(shí)主要考慮（1）對(duì)原文要點(diǎn)的理解和呈現(xiàn)情況；（2）應(yīng)用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的準(zhǔn)確性；（3）上下文的連貫性；（4）表達(dá)要點(diǎn)時(shí)使用語(yǔ)言的獨(dú)立性。本文舉例闡述如何在高中英語(yǔ)概要寫(xiě)作教學(xué)過(guò)程中抓住“四個(gè)關(guān)鍵步驟”，突破英語(yǔ)概要寫(xiě)作。

一、教學(xué)材料再現(xiàn)：閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Many of us invest valuable time，energy and money planning our vacations.We do this because we know for sure that going on vacations must be good for us.Research proves this feeling without a doubt.Vacations help us perform better at work, improve our sleep quality and cushion us against depression.

Yet, despite these bene fits, many of us return home with a feeling that our last vacation was OK — but not great.In order to change this, some mistakes should be avoided.A typical one for vacation planners is attempting to maximize value for money by planning trips that have too many things.Perhaps you’re planning a trip to Europe, seven cities in 10 days, and you realize it will cost only a little more to add two more destinations to the list.Sounds fine in theory, but hopping from one place to the next hardly gives an opportunity to experience what psychologists call mindfulness — time to take in our new surroundings, time to be present and absorb our travel experiences.Another mistake is that we worry too much about strategic issues such as how to find a good flight deal, how to get from A to B, or which destinations to add or subtract from our journey.These issues may seem important, but our psychological state of mind is far more important.

Actually, vacation happiness is based on the following top rules.First, choose your travel companions wisely, because nothing contributes more signi ficantly to a trip than the right companions.Second, don’t spend your vacation time in a place where everything is too expensive so as to maintain a positive mood.Third, shop wisely, for meaningful experiences provide more long-term happiness than physical possessions.

二、四個(gè)關(guān)鍵步驟

依據(jù)浙江高考英語(yǔ)概要寫(xiě)作的要求和評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，舉例闡述高中英語(yǔ)概要寫(xiě)作四個(gè)關(guān)鍵步驟：(一)在搭建文本支架基礎(chǔ)之上提取主題句和支撐性細(xì)節(jié)；(二)濃縮已提取信息；(三)運(yùn)用同義替換和句式轉(zhuǎn)換兩種手段轉(zhuǎn)換已濃縮信息；(四)合理利用連接詞語(yǔ)把轉(zhuǎn)換后的信息連句成文。

關(guān)鍵步驟一： 搭建文本結(jié)構(gòu)支架，提取主題句和支撐性細(xì)節(jié)

為了順利完成概要寫(xiě)作要求，教師要多角度、多層次地指導(dǎo)學(xué)生閱讀原材料。要求學(xué)生找出文章的主題和各段的主題句(Topic Sentences)及其相關(guān)支撐信息(Supporting Details)，并在此基礎(chǔ)上完成文本結(jié)構(gòu)思維導(dǎo)圖。用思維導(dǎo)圖呈現(xiàn)原材料的篇章結(jié)構(gòu)，一方面使得學(xué)生對(duì)原材料的思維直觀化和條理化，另一方面使得學(xué)生能夠建構(gòu)對(duì)文章的整體認(rèn)知，從而保留了閱讀的完整性。主題句是用以概括文學(xué)、藝術(shù)作品的中心思想，內(nèi)容核心，作者的寫(xiě)作意圖，表達(dá)的思想感情等的句子；其相關(guān)支撐信息為作者提供了佐證材料。

圖一：文本結(jié)構(gòu)思維導(dǎo)圖

通過(guò)學(xué)生獨(dú)立閱讀、分組討論、教師搭建支架，各段的主題句(Topic Sentences)及其相關(guān)支撐信息(Supporting Details)即可以展示如下：

圖二：主題句和支撐性細(xì)節(jié)展示圖

關(guān)鍵步驟二：指導(dǎo)學(xué)生濃縮主題句和支撐性細(xì)節(jié)

概要寫(xiě)作應(yīng)當(dāng)去除無(wú)關(guān)緊要的細(xì)節(jié)，使用簡(jiǎn)明扼要的語(yǔ)言,應(yīng)指導(dǎo)學(xué)生在已提取的關(guān)鍵信息基礎(chǔ)之上濃縮句子。濃縮主題句時(shí)應(yīng)該去掉舉例、具體數(shù)據(jù)和修飾詞(如定語(yǔ)等)，找出句子主干，確保句子的主謂賓完整。

1.濃縮主題句

根據(jù)圖二：主題句和支撐性細(xì)節(jié)展示圖可知，第一、三兩段的主題句是簡(jiǎn)單句，暫時(shí)不必濃縮。第二段的主題句中明顯包含了重復(fù)性成分“—but not great”，需要去除。

2.濃縮主要支撐性細(xì)節(jié)

細(xì)節(jié)的功能是支撐要點(diǎn)，因此概要寫(xiě)作時(shí)應(yīng)該省略與文章大意無(wú)關(guān)的清單型細(xì)節(jié)、事例、理由等次要支撐性信息。據(jù)此，第二段要點(diǎn)寫(xiě)作時(shí)應(yīng)該省略“A typical one for vacation planners is attempting to maximize value for money”和“Another mistake is that we worry too much about strategic issues”之后的具體事例。第三段要點(diǎn)寫(xiě)作時(shí)應(yīng)該省略以下兩個(gè)原因狀語(yǔ)和一個(gè)目的狀語(yǔ)“because nothing contributes more signi ficantly to a trip than the right companions, so as to maintain a positive mood, for meaningful experiences provide more long-term happiness than physical possessions”。

3.灌輸兩種策略，教會(huì)獨(dú)立表達(dá)

寫(xiě)概要主要是把具體的信息用一些具有概括功能的詞和句表述出來(lái)，不能抄襲文章的句子，不能把細(xì)節(jié)性的信息作為中心，而要通過(guò)對(duì)文章中的單詞和句子進(jìn)行合理轉(zhuǎn)換，重組文章的信息，再用合適的語(yǔ)言進(jìn)行表述，從而體現(xiàn)考生的概括、重構(gòu)與產(chǎn)出的能力。經(jīng)過(guò)上述提取和濃縮信息兩個(gè)步驟之后，原材料概要寫(xiě)作的初稿是：Vacations are good for us.Many of us came back from vacations with a feeling that our last vacation was not great.To make our vacations pleasant, two mistakes should be avoided.One mistake is that planners are attempting to maximize value for money.Another mistake is that we worry too much about strategic issues.Actually, vacation happiness is based on the following top rules.First, choose your travel companions wisely.Second, don’t spend your vacation time in a place where everything is too expensive.Third, shop wisely.

本初稿包含了各個(gè)段落的主題句和主要支撐性細(xì)節(jié)，但顯然它不符合《考試說(shuō)明》的若干規(guī)定：（1）上下文無(wú)連接詞，缺乏連貫性；（2）各要點(diǎn)表達(dá)均采用原文中的詞匯，缺乏獨(dú)立性；（3）字?jǐn)?shù)為88詞，超過(guò)規(guī)定。下一環(huán)節(jié)應(yīng)該聚焦在對(duì)上一環(huán)節(jié)中提取的主題句和支撐性細(xì)節(jié)進(jìn)行獨(dú)立表達(dá)上。

關(guān)鍵步驟三：運(yùn)用同義替換和句式轉(zhuǎn)換兩種手段轉(zhuǎn)換已濃縮信息

1.同義替換。同義替換，顧名思義是用意思相同的語(yǔ)句替換，也就是說(shuō)，換個(gè)意思相同的說(shuō)法。替換結(jié)果如下：

圖三：同義替換

2.句式轉(zhuǎn)換。句式轉(zhuǎn)換就是保持句子內(nèi)容基本不變,根據(jù)表達(dá)和理解的需要把某種句式轉(zhuǎn)換為另外一種句式。替換結(jié)果如下：

圖四：句式轉(zhuǎn)換

注意：對(duì)于單詞數(shù)量較多，句式相同的多個(gè)句子可以同時(shí)采用同義替換和句式轉(zhuǎn)換策略。如第三段的主要支撐性細(xì)節(jié)“First, choose your travel companions wisely.Second,don’t spend your vacation time in a place where everything is too expensive.Third, shop wisely.”就可以改寫(xiě)成“Choose the companions, never spend time in a place where everything is too expensive, and shop wisely.（下劃線為本句關(guān)鍵詞）”。同樣句式的句子可以合成一句，因此在標(biāo)出句中的關(guān)鍵詞后，不難發(fā)現(xiàn)本句可以獨(dú)立表達(dá)為“Choose the right companions and destinations and shop wisely.”。

關(guān)鍵步驟四：添加連接詞，連句成篇

經(jīng)過(guò)提取主題句與支撐性細(xì)節(jié)、濃縮信息和獨(dú)立表達(dá)三個(gè)步驟之后，教師再指導(dǎo)學(xué)生在完成概要寫(xiě)作定稿時(shí)應(yīng)合理添加連接詞語(yǔ)并確保概要字?jǐn)?shù)在規(guī)定范圍內(nèi)。最終原材料概要寫(xiě)作定稿如下：

Vacations bene fit everyone, but many people come back from vacations not feeling very great.（要點(diǎn)一，概括原材料第一段） To make our vacations happy, we should avoid two mistakes — trying to achieve the fullest value for what we invest into vacations and worrying too much about vacation arrangements.（要點(diǎn)二，概括原材料第二段）Besides, we should follow some rules such as choosing the right companions and destinations and being wise in doing shopping.（要點(diǎn)三，概括原材料第三段）

總之，概要寫(xiě)作的第一步是理解語(yǔ)篇結(jié)構(gòu)，然后提取各個(gè)段落主題句和支撐性細(xì)節(jié)，在此基礎(chǔ)上濃縮已提取的信息，運(yùn)用同義替換和句式轉(zhuǎn)換兩種手段轉(zhuǎn)換已濃縮的信息，再合理利用連接詞語(yǔ)把轉(zhuǎn)換后的信息連句成篇，最后檢查核對(duì)以確保概要符合考試要求。

陳吉鳳 浙江省寧波市濱海國(guó)際合作學(xué)校 王莉紅 浙江省寧波市北侖區(qū)岷山學(xué)校）