To all but a handful of people， I’ve been \"Dubin\" my entire life. Friends， acquaintances， parents， teachers， baristas—this one is admittedly on me， but you can only get \"Jerry\" on your Starbucks cup so many times before you take action—have all always just last-named me. And because I’ve always just gone by that one name， I’ve long been fascinated by people who have one or more additional monikers by which they’re known. My own lack of a nickname， in time， gave birth to an obsession with everyone else’s.

對(duì)不少人來(lái)說(shuō)，我這一輩子就叫達(dá)賓。朋友、熟人、父母、老師、咖啡師——這個(gè)是我認(rèn)可的，因?yàn)樵谛前涂嗣直蝗硕啻螌?xiě)成“杰里”后你總會(huì)采取行動(dòng)的——他們總是用姓稱(chēng)呼我。因?yàn)槲乙恢庇眠@個(gè)名字，所以我一向?qū)碛幸粋€(gè)或多個(gè)為人熟知的綽號(hào)的人非常有興趣。因?yàn)樽约簺](méi)有綽號(hào)，這導(dǎo)致我著迷于其他人的綽號(hào)。

All of which brings me to this： While I am eternally grateful to Basketball-Reference for a great many things， the nicknames listed on their web site are largely trash， and I’ve told them so. How many people on the planet do you think have ever called Dwyane Wade \"Pookie，\" for example？ Don’t they know \"Linsanity\" was the phenomenon surrounding Jeremy Lin’s spectacular rise to prominence， not his nickname？ And why are the nicknames only on the player pages and not in some sort of database？ I understand these questions might matter to me more than other people， but also they really matter to me.

以上事實(shí)讓我得出以下結(jié)論：盡管Basketball-Reference提供了那么多優(yōu)秀的內(nèi)容、永遠(yuǎn)值得我尊敬，但他們網(wǎng)站列出的球員綽號(hào)大部分只能稱(chēng)為“垃圾”，我也是這么跟他們說(shuō)的。比如說(shuō)，你覺(jué)得地球上有幾個(gè)人把德維恩·韋德叫成“Pookie”？他們難道不知道“林瘋狂”是描述林書(shū)豪爆發(fā)現(xiàn)象的稱(chēng)呼，而不是他的綽號(hào)？為什么綽號(hào)只出現(xiàn)在球員個(gè)人頁(yè)面上，卻沒(méi)有數(shù)據(jù)庫(kù)？我懂，這些問(wèn)題可能對(duì)我比對(duì)別人有更重要的意義，但這些問(wèn)題對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)確實(shí)很重要。

Maybe it’s because people now try too hard to come up with nicknames for certain players—think of beat writers trying to make their preferred moniker happen， or Basketball Twitter screaming about how \"[Player X] needs a nickname！\"—or because more and more players now try to come up with their own nicknames as a branding thing—we see you， Kobe Bryant/ Dwyane Wade/Harrison Barnes—or because the SportsCenter lingo of using initials or hyphenations caught on and became easy shorthand. Whatever the reason， there’s a distinct lack of originality in contemporary nicknames. We need to do better.

這可能因?yàn)槿藗兲虢o球員起外號(hào)了——比如那些希望自己偏愛(ài)的綽號(hào)流行的跟隊(duì)記者，或者高喊著“X球員需要一個(gè)綽號(hào)！”的籃球推特賬號(hào)——或者是因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在的球員越來(lái)越多地自己起外號(hào)，把這當(dāng)做一個(gè)品牌——說(shuō)的就是你啊，科比·布萊恩特/德維恩·韋德/哈里斯·巴恩斯——抑或是“體育中心”節(jié)目常用縮寫(xiě)或者連字符的方法開(kāi)始流行，叫起來(lái)也很簡(jiǎn)便。不管怎么說(shuō)，如今的綽號(hào)明顯缺少原創(chuàng)性。我們?cè)谶@方面需要做得更好啊。

The way I see it， there are 11 different kinds of NBA nicknames， only some of which are actually good： Initials， Hyphenates， Abbreviated Names， Replacement Names， Body/Origin Descriptors， Game Descriptors， SelfGiven Nicknames， \"The\" Nicknames， Pop-Culture Nicknames， Group Nicknames， and （for lack of better terminology） Original Nicknames. Let’s break them down one by one.

在我看來(lái)，NBA共有11種類(lèi)型的綽號(hào)，其中只有一部分算得上不錯(cuò)：首字母、連字符、簡(jiǎn)寫(xiě)、替代名字、身體/出身描述、球風(fēng)描述、自封綽號(hào)、“The”字輩、流行文化綽號(hào)、團(tuán)隊(duì)名字及（想不出合適的說(shuō)法）原創(chuàng)綽號(hào)。下面讓我們逐一分析。

Initials： This is basically the default version of nicknaming these days， which is a sad state of affairs. Initials can and have been used for superstars， All-Stars， and role players alike. It’s lazy. For all but a few players， like the ones who have three names—or more， like Luc Richard Mbah a Moute， who you sadly do not know as LRMAM—or Andrei Kirilenko， whose AK-47 combined his initials and uniform number and was objectively perfect. We must do better than this. Karl-Anthony Towns can’t just be KAT forever.

首字母：這幾乎就是現(xiàn)在綽號(hào)的默認(rèn)形式，這種狀態(tài)讓人很是悲哀。超級(jí)巨星、全明星以及角色球員可以、也曾使用過(guò)首字母型綽號(hào)。這也太懶了。對(duì)于一部分球員，比如名字由三個(gè)或更多單詞組成的球員——如盧克·理查德·巴莫特，悲劇的是你并不會(huì)叫他LRMAM——或者像安德烈·基里連科，他的AK-47把首字母和號(hào)碼結(jié)合起來(lái)，效果相當(dāng)完美。我們需要做得更好?？?安東尼·唐斯不能一直用KAT。

Hyphenates： There is no earthly reason that Tracy McGrady， Dwyane Wade， Deron Williams， Derrick Rose， and Jason Kidd should all have basically the same nickname. T-Mac， D-Wade， D-Will， D-Rose， J-Kidd？ Ugh. I blame C-Webb. It should be noted that some hyphenates， like Z-Bo and Q-Pon， do actually work， but the rest are practically begging for people to get more creative.

連字符：沒(méi)理由特雷西·麥克格雷迪、德維恩·韋德、德隆·威廉姆斯、德里克·羅斯和杰森·基德?lián)碛写笾孪嗤木b號(hào)。T-Mac、D-Wade、D-Will、D-Rose、J-Kidd？呃。我要怪C-Webb（克里斯·韋伯）。需要注意的是，一些連字符型綽號(hào)，比如Z-Bo（扎克·蘭多夫）或Q-Pon（昆西·龐德克斯特）還是不錯(cuò)的，但其他的好像在懇求人們有點(diǎn)創(chuàng)意而已。

Abbreviated Names： This is definitely the most popular kind of nickname， and for good reason. It still immediately conjures up the player， but it’s just easier to say than his real name. Why call the two-time reigning MVP Stephen， when Steph is much easier？ Who wants to say Shaquille or Carmelo when Shaq and Melo are sitting right there？ Zo， Sheed， Toine， Dame， Pip， Peja， Spree， Cooz， Nique， Spoon， Dice， McBob， Mash， Mase， GOOGS—these are not just good nicknames； they’re also fun to say. You can （almost） never go wrong with an abbreviated name. Almost. Sometimes you wind up with something like Kandi Man， which becomes easy to parody. \"The Kandi Man Can’t\" is just sitting right there.

簡(jiǎn)寫(xiě)：這絕對(duì)是最受歡迎的一種綽號(hào)，理由很充分。這種綽號(hào)仍然能讓人立刻聯(lián)想到球員，而且比真名說(shuō)起來(lái)更簡(jiǎn)單。如果Steph（斯戴夫）讀起來(lái)更簡(jiǎn)單，為什么要叫兩屆MVP得主Stephen（斯蒂芬·庫(kù)里）呢？有了Shaq（沙克）和Melo（梅洛），誰(shuí)愿意說(shuō)Shaquille（沙奎爾）或Carmelo（卡梅洛）呢？Zo（莫寧）、Sheed（拉希德·華萊士）、Toine（安東尼·沃克）、Dame（利拉德）、Pip（皮蓬）、Peja（佩賈）、Spree（斯普雷維爾）、Cooz（鮑勃·庫(kù)西）、Nique（多米尼克·威爾金斯）、Spoon（克拉倫斯·威瑟斯彭）、Dice（安東尼奧·麥克戴斯）、McBob（約什·麥克羅伯茨）、Mash（賈馬爾·馬什本）、Mase（安東尼·梅森）、GOOGS（湯姆·古格利奧塔）——這些不僅是好的綽號(hào)，而且非常有趣。用簡(jiǎn)寫(xiě)時(shí)你（幾乎）不會(huì)出錯(cuò)，幾乎不會(huì)。不過(guò)有時(shí)候你會(huì)遇到Kandi Man（奧洛沃坎迪）這種名字，這種綽號(hào)很容易被人惡搞?！癟he Kandi Man Can’t”（Kandi Man什么也不會(huì)）就是個(gè)例子。

Replacement Names： You know how this works. A child gets a nickname growing up， and it sticks. He becomes an NBA player and almost nobody realizes that the name they know him by isn’t his actual name . Penny Hardaway， Spud Webb， Red Holzman and Auerbach， Popeye Jones， Doc Rivers， Muggsy Bogues， Speedy Claxton， Tiny Archibald， Satch Sanders， Moochie Norris， Fat Lever， and the immortal Smush Parker are all terrific examples. This kind of thing rarely happens anymore， though， unless you count Jimmer Fredette. Which I don’t. Why has this kind of nickname fallen off？ Can we just agree to blame the childhood friends of future NBA players， or is that unfair？

替代名字：這種形式，大家懂的。一個(gè)人小時(shí)候得到一個(gè)綽號(hào)，隨后一直沿用下去。后來(lái)他成了NBA球員，幾乎沒(méi)人意識(shí)到，他們知道的名字并不是他的真名?！氨闶俊惫_(dá)威、斯巴德·韋伯、里德·霍爾茨曼和里德·奧爾巴赫、波派·瓊斯、道格·里弗斯、“小蟲(chóng)”博格斯、斯比蒂·克萊克斯頓、小阿奇巴爾德、薩奇·桑德斯、穆奇·諾里斯、法特·萊沃，還有不朽的斯馬什·帕克，都是絕好的例子。不過(guò)這類(lèi)綽號(hào)現(xiàn)在卻很少出現(xiàn)了，除非算上吉默·弗雷戴特，但我不準(zhǔn)備算上他。為什么這種綽號(hào)消失了呢？這個(gè)鍋我們能甩在未來(lái)NBA球員童年的朋友身上嗎？還是說(shuō)這樣并不公平？

Body/Origin Descriptors： There used to be some pretty creative nicknames of this variety： the Hick from French Lick， the Round Mound of Rebound， Wilt the Stilt， the Big Fundamental. There’s an entire subphylum of Shaq nicknames built around the word Big—Big Aristotle， Big Shaqtus， Big Shamrock， Big Daddy， and so on. The improved technology and training regimens available to players these days has yielded fewer players of outwardly distinctive body types， though， so it’s somewhat tougher to come up with shape-related nicknames for players coming into the league. Nowadays， it’s more about working the country the player hails from into the mix. Greek Freak， Big Daddy Canada， and Three 6 Latvia （the latter admittedly only used by an elite cadre of Knicks fans for Kristaps Porzingis） are good shit， but other post-2000s descriptors like Haitian Sensation and Brazilian Blur are too easy. This is America and we should still be able to come up with stuff like Zeke from Cabin Creek and the Enormous Mormon.

身體/出身描述：這一類(lèi)曾經(jīng)出現(xiàn)過(guò)一些很有創(chuàng)意的名字：弗倫奇利克的鄉(xiāng)巴佬（拉里·伯德）、籃板圓墩（查爾斯·巴克利）、高蹺威爾特（張伯倫）、大基本功（鄧肯）。奧尼爾的綽號(hào)中專(zhuān)門(mén)有一個(gè)以“大”開(kāi)頭的系列——大亞里士多德、大仙人掌、大三葉草、大老爹等等。如今隨著科技進(jìn)步、可獲取的訓(xùn)練方法更多，球員獨(dú)特的身體特征變得越來(lái)越少，所以想給球員起與身體特征有關(guān)的綽號(hào)的難度也就越來(lái)越大。如今，這類(lèi)綽號(hào)更多地混入的是球員的出身。希臘怪獸（安特托昆博）、加拿大大老爹（本內(nèi)特）和3-6拉脫維亞（只有極少的死忠尼克斯球迷才會(huì)這樣稱(chēng)呼波爾津吉斯）這些很不錯(cuò)，但是像海地激情和巴西閃電這種2000年后出現(xiàn)的綽號(hào)就太簡(jiǎn)單了。這里可是美國(guó)，我們應(yīng)該還是有能力想出諸如卡賓克里克的澤克（杰里·韋斯特）和巨型摩門(mén)教徒（肖恩·布拉德利）這樣的名字。

Game Descriptors： My tolerance for this type of nickname varies. Stacey\"Plastic Man\" Augmon is perfect and I wouldn’t mind if it were reused on a different player every 20 years or so. Junkyard Dog was perfect for Jerome Williams， and Iso Joe could not possibly fit Joe Johnson better. Clyde the Glide， Pitchin’ Paul， Air Canada， Chocolate Thunder， the Grindfather， and even J.R. Swish all range from \"pretty good\" to \"very good.\" You can miss me with any and all variations of \"Big ____，\" though. That goes for Mr. Big Shot， Big Shot Bob or Rob， Big Game James， and whatever else in that vein is out there. There is opportunity here to come up with some really inventive stuff. Even something like Lillard Time， which isn’t so much a nickname as just a description of what happens when Damian Lillard takes over crunch time of any given game， is so much better than \"Big Shot\" or \"Big Game\" or \"Big Time\" anything.

球風(fēng)描述：我對(duì)這類(lèi)綽號(hào)的容忍度要分具體情況。斯特西·奧格蒙“塑料人”的名字很不錯(cuò)，我不介意每過(guò)上20年另有球員使用這個(gè)名字?！袄贰边@個(gè)名字非常適合杰羅姆·威廉姆斯，“單打喬”也無(wú)比適合喬·約翰遜?！盎铏C(jī)”克萊德·德雷克斯勒，“投手”保羅·阿里金，“加拿大飛人”，“巧克力炸彈”，Grindfather（磨練之父，托尼·阿倫）甚至J.R. Swish也都可以歸入“很不錯(cuò)”到“相當(dāng)不錯(cuò)”的范圍。不要跟我提各種類(lèi)型的“大……”，比如“大心臟先生”、“大心臟鮑勃或羅伯”、“大賽詹姆斯”（詹姆斯·沃西），以及任何類(lèi)似的綽號(hào)。這個(gè)種類(lèi)中有可能出現(xiàn)極有創(chuàng)意的名字。甚至“利拉德時(shí)刻”這樣本來(lái)不算綽號(hào)、只是用來(lái)關(guān)鍵時(shí)刻或者任意時(shí)刻達(dá)米安·利拉德接管比賽的現(xiàn)象的一種稱(chēng)呼，也比“大心臟”、“大比賽”或者“關(guān)鍵時(shí)刻”什么的好多了。

Self-Given Nicknames： There is no way around this： You. Do. Not. Get. To. Choose. Your. Own. Nickname. Nicknames are bestowed upon you， and that’s it. So fuck Black Mamba. Fuck Black Falcon. Fuck Way of Wade and Swaggy P and definitely fuck The Servant， which Kevin Durant tried to make happen when he didn’t like the （very good） nickname the internet briefly gave him （more on that later）. Self-given nicknames are straight-up garbage and should never be used. The exception here is \"the Kobe Stopper，\" because Ruben Patterson is a legend. Respect.

自封綽號(hào)：這是不可接受的，你不能自己選擇綽號(hào)。綽號(hào)是別人給你的，就這么簡(jiǎn)單。所以，去他媽的黑曼巴，去他媽的北卡黑鷹，去他媽的韋德之道，去他媽的Swaggy P。當(dāng)然，去他媽的“仆人”，這是杜蘭特不喜歡互聯(lián)網(wǎng)給他的一個(gè)外號(hào)（其實(shí)很不錯(cuò)，后面詳細(xì)分析）后試圖自封的一個(gè)名字。自封綽號(hào)是徹頭徹尾的垃圾，誰(shuí)都不該用。唯一的例外是“科比終結(jié)者”，因?yàn)轸敱尽づ撂厣褪莻髌妗](méi)錯(cuò)，他就是傳奇。

\"The\" Nicknames： This is a mixed bag. There have been a whole lot of really good \"the\" nicknames： the Answer， the Mailman， the Glove， The Dream， The Admiral， The Worm， The Matrix， and arguably the best nickname ever， The Truth. But there have also been some really shitty ones： The Jet， The Big O， The Chosen One， The Big Ticket （and The Kid）， The Machine， and The Brow. When you give someone a \"the\" nickname， they damn well better actually be THE [whatever you’re using]. There’s obviously more than one captain， so just don’t call a guy The Captain. As definitely don’t name a guy Il Mago—that’s Italian for \"The Magician\" and was used to refer to Andrea Bargnani—if his only magic power is making his team worse.

“The”字輩：這一類(lèi)比較復(fù)雜，其中有一些確實(shí)不錯(cuò)，比如答案、郵差、手套、大夢(mèng)、海軍上將、大蟲(chóng)、駭客，還有稱(chēng)得上歷史最佳的綽號(hào)“真理”。不過(guò)這個(gè)種類(lèi)里也有一些很糟糕的，比如噴氣機(jī)、大O、天選之子、大票房（孩子）、機(jī)器和濃眉哥。送給某人“the”字綽號(hào)時(shí)，他們最好就是那個(gè)（你給他們的稱(chēng)呼）。能做上尉的人太多了，所以不要叫某個(gè)人“上尉”。絕對(duì)不要給別人起“II Mago”這個(gè)綽號(hào)，這是意大利語(yǔ)的“魔術(shù)師”，曾經(jīng)用來(lái)指安德雷·巴格納尼，他唯一的魔力就是讓自己的球隊(duì)變得更糟吧。

Pop-Culture Nicknames： These can be actually taken from popular culture， like Skywalker， Mighty Mouse， Bad News Barnes， X-Man. They can also arise when a player wades into popular culture， as in Larry Johnson’s nickname of Grandmama， which was the result of some weird commercials in which Larry Johnson dressed up as an elderly woman who dunks. Ray Allen played a character named Jesus Shuttlesworth in a Spike Lee movie； interns attached latex old-guy makeup to Kyrie Irving until he was Uncle Drew. The best of these nicknames， though， happen organically. Basketball Twitter calls Nik Stauskas \"Sauce Castillo\" because the closed captioning on a Kings game got messed up one night. There is no compelling reason for Stauskas to even have a nickname， so this says something about the passion involved here. The important thing with popculture nicknames， as with all other types， is not to force it. You don’t get to have Kristaps become Godzingis just because you say it a lot. Trust me on this. I tried to make Vucci Mane happen for Nikola Vucevic and I know it will never work.

流行文化綽號(hào)：這些綽號(hào)可能真的出自流行文化，比如天行者、太空飛鼠、壞消息巴恩斯、X戰(zhàn)警。當(dāng)球員成為流行文化的一部分時(shí)也會(huì)出現(xiàn)這類(lèi)綽號(hào)，比如拉里·約翰遜的“大媽”，就是源自拉里·約翰遜出演了一個(gè)詭異的廣告，他在里面穿著老年婦女的衣服扣籃。雷·阿倫在斯派克·李的電影里扮演了一個(gè)名叫Jesus Shuttleworth的角色；實(shí)習(xí)生們給歐文粘上老年人的乳膠面具，把他變成了德魯大叔。不過(guò)這一類(lèi)里最好的綽號(hào)卻是自發(fā)形成的。籃球推特把尼克·斯陶斯卡斯稱(chēng)作“卡斯蒂略醬”是因?yàn)橛幸粓?chǎng)國(guó)王比賽直播的隱蔽式字幕出了問(wèn)題。斯陶斯卡斯不存在非要擁有綽號(hào)的理由，從這我們也能看到籃球迷在這方面的熱情。和其他種類(lèi)一樣，流行文化綽號(hào)中很重要的一點(diǎn)是，不要強(qiáng)行推動(dòng)某個(gè)綽號(hào)。波爾津吉斯不會(huì)因?yàn)槟憬?jīng)常念叨Godzingis就真成了Godzingis。這個(gè)問(wèn)題上要相信我。我曾經(jīng)嘗試給尼古拉·武切維奇“Vucci Mane”這個(gè)名字，我知道這種做法行不通。

Group Nicknames： These most often come about when a team captures the public consciousness for a distinctive reason. Think of the Bad Boys Pistons， the Showtime Lakers， the Jail Blazers， or the Grit N’ Grind Grizzlies. They can also apply to a smaller group of players， like Run T-M-C， the Twin Towers， the Splash Brothers， the Death Lineup， Lob City， or the Flying Death Machine. When one of these catches on， it’s usually because it’s good enough to be worthy of the group it describes. With the exception of every good bench unit in NBA history adopting the moniker \"The Bench Mob，\" basically all of these are good. I’m very excited to see what nickname sticks for the new-age Death Lineup featuring Kevin Durant in the role of Much Better Harrison Barnes.

團(tuán)隊(duì)名字：當(dāng)一支球隊(duì)以獨(dú)特的原因吸引公眾關(guān)注后，通常會(huì)出現(xiàn)這類(lèi)綽號(hào)。想想底特律的壞孩子軍團(tuán)，湖人的表演時(shí)刻，“監(jiān)獄”開(kāi)拓者，還有死磨硬打灰熊。這類(lèi)綽號(hào)也可以適用于小群球員，比如Run T-M-C，雙塔，水花兄弟，死亡陣容，空接之城，或者飛翔的死亡機(jī)器。這類(lèi)名字能流行，主要還是因?yàn)楹苓m合描述的那群人。其中的例外就是NBA歷史上每一個(gè)優(yōu)秀的板凳陣容用的都是“板凳匪徒”這個(gè)綽號(hào)，原因呢，也是因?yàn)樗麄兇_實(shí)很厲害。我很期待，想知道有了加強(qiáng)版哈里森·巴恩斯、即杜蘭特的勇士新死亡陣容會(huì)有什么樣的綽號(hào)。

Original Nicknames： The Holy Grail. This is what we need to get back to. Nicknames should arise organically， catch on， and then stick. Larry Legend， Magic， Iceman， Dr. J， Reign Man， Born Ready， White Chocolate， Tuff Juice， Dollar Bill， Boogie， Agent Zero， Psycho T—these nicknames are blessings， every one of them. A couple years ago， we almost had one of the most perfect nicknames to ever arise： Kevin Durant was going to be Slim Reaper. There was an amazing photoshop and everything. Then KD shot it down and seriously tried to get people to call him The Servant. It remains the weakest move Durant has ever made， but he has moved on and so must we all. We cannot afford to be discouraged. The work of saving NBA nicknames is simply too important.

原創(chuàng)綽號(hào)：這就是綽號(hào)界的圣杯，我們應(yīng)該多想想這一類(lèi)的名字。綽號(hào)應(yīng)當(dāng)是原創(chuàng)的、朗朗上口的、能夠被人永遠(yuǎn)記住的。拉里傳奇，魔術(shù)師，冰人，J博士，雨人，Born Ready（生來(lái)便做好準(zhǔn)備，蘭斯·斯蒂芬森），白巧克力，硬果汁（卡隆·巴特勒），美元（比爾·布拉德利），Boogie（考辛斯），零號(hào)特工，瘋子T（泰勒·漢斯布魯）——這些名字無(wú)一例外，都很完美。幾年前，我們差點(diǎn)得到又一個(gè)完美的綽號(hào)：凱文·杜蘭特差點(diǎn)有了Slim Reaper（瘦子死神）這個(gè)名字。有人PS出了完美的圖片，什么都有。但是杜蘭特拒絕了，他真的想讓人們叫他“仆人”。這仍然是杜蘭特最軟弱的一個(gè)行為，不過(guò)他已經(jīng)選擇向前看了，我們也是。我們不能泄氣，拯救NBA綽號(hào)的任務(wù)真的太重要了。