張傳志

Mothers are always kind to their children and take good care of them. So does my mother.

My mother is a good mother. She looks after me well. She is strict with me. When I do something wrong， she will angry①. But I know she loves me very much.

Last week， I had a bad headache. I felt very terrible. My mother was worried with② me and took me to the doctors at once. After going home， she asked me to take medicine and cooked delicious food with me. She asked me to stay in bed and brought the food to me. At that moment， I felt her deep love and there were tears in my eyes.

My mother is such a strict teacher and nice friend of mine. She is the greatest mother in the world. I love her with my heart！

點評

1. 優(yōu)點：

小作者通過一件小事描述了媽媽對他的愛。文章文字雖然樸實，卻包含深情，字里行間都留露出小作者和媽媽之間深厚的母子情。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①will angry改為will be angry。when引導(dǎo)的主句缺少動詞。

②with改為about。be worried about意為“擔(dān)心，擔(dān)憂”。

3. 評分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分20分的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得18分。