本期點評名師

Our school have many rules①.So I’m unhappy.

For example,first,we’re not allowed to wear cool jeans.The teacher said it will influence our studies.But I don’t think so.If we wear cool clothes,we will feel more comfortable.Second,we’re not allowed to hang out and watch TV from Monday to Friday evenings.And we have lots of homework to do.Last,we students are not allowed to get her②ears pierced.I agree③them.

Our school is strict with us,but it is good for us.We all got good grades by the strict rules.

湖北省洪湖市老灣中心學(xué)校九（2）班 鄧瑜

1.優(yōu)點：

對于九年級的畢業(yè)生來說，這是一篇不錯的習(xí)作。文章采用了總分總的結(jié)構(gòu),前后呼應(yīng),首尾連貫，結(jié)構(gòu)十分嚴(yán)謹(jǐn),條理也非常清晰。第一段介紹了學(xué)校有很多規(guī)則；第二段舉例說明，層次清晰，并對這些規(guī)定逐個發(fā)表了自己的看法；第三段總結(jié)，理性地肯定了學(xué)校的規(guī)定。

2.需要修改的地方：

①Our school have many rules.改為There are many rules in our school.學(xué)校為物，表示“事物具有……”的句型應(yīng)該用there be。

② her改為their。前后人稱不一致，主語用的是students，因此物主代詞相應(yīng)使用their。

③agree改為agree with。表示同意某人應(yīng)該用agree with sb.。

3.評分：

按中考英語作文滿分15分的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得13分。