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        文本類型導向下《落花生》兩英譯本之翻譯批評

        2012-12-31 00:00:00余小兵
        考試周刊 2012年54期


          摘要: 本文根據(jù)德國翻譯理論家凱瑟琳娜·賴斯文本類型理論,以《落花生》的兩個譯本為例,對其進行文本類型分析,并以此進行翻譯批評,最終說明翻譯批評不可能是純粹意義上的內(nèi)部批評,它不可避免地要涉及外部因素考查譯文的適切性。
          關(guān)鍵詞: 文本類型 《落先生》 文本分析 翻譯批評
          一、前言
          筆者通過互聯(lián)網(wǎng)查閱得知,《落花生》一文現(xiàn)載于小學五年級語文課本;關(guān)于它的教學論文可謂恒河沙數(shù),眾多文藝和教學一線教師就《落花生》的語言特色、表現(xiàn)手法,以及思想內(nèi)容發(fā)表了一系列可資借鑒的見解和觀點,如李明(1997)、李鋒平(2008)、焰明(2009)、伊麗、陳建生、林婷婷(2009)、李婷(2009)、朱晴靜和周邦友(2010)、張保紅(2010)、隋榮誼、俞琳和閆開紅(2011)、張曉平(2010)、楊莉(2011)。由此我們可以看出,《落花生》于當代年輕一輩的教育啟迪意義,不可小覷。本文選取張培基(1999;2004)和劉士聰(2002)兩位名家的譯作為范本,以萊斯(2004)的文本類型理論為依據(jù),進行翻譯批評。
          二、《落花生》原文本分析
          縱覽原文,《落花生》一文的文本特征有:(一)語篇:《落花生》是作者回憶自己童年時代生活的一個小片段。通過父母與孩子們的對話、作者借父親之口以花生的平凡而有用作為類比,隱含了做人的道理;語言文字淺顯易懂,風格樸實無華、清新而自然。(二)句式:語言充滿了口語色彩,對話構(gòu)成了語篇的主體,因而采用了簡潔的句式,以簡單句和并列句為主。(三)詞匯:原文口語化傾向突出,語言普通,多為日常詞匯;個別詞語(比如“爹爹”)具有早期方言色彩;與助詞“的”語義功能相同的“底”(de)的使用,使語篇流露出早期現(xiàn)代漢語風格。這些詞匯的使用適合與孩子們溝通交流,并為他們所接收、領(lǐng)悟。
          基于以上對《落花生》的文本分析,我們可以界定其為重形式的文本,因而與之相應(yīng)的翻譯要求就是譯文和原文有相似的形式和同等的美學效果。
          三、《落花生》兩譯本批評
          本文將在吸取前期對《落花生》研究成果的基礎(chǔ)上,對其兩個譯本進行翻譯批評。
          1.落花生。
          張①:Peanuts
          劉②:The Peanut
          Peanuts是“花生”的復(fù)數(shù)形式,只表示這種食品;The peanut具有特指意味。通讀原文,“父親”提到花生這種植物相較其他植物的優(yōu)點,所以改譯為groundnut更為合適,即指“花生”這種植物,也指其果實部分?!奥浠ㄉ卑小盎涞囟ㄉ敝?,ground可以傳達這一哲理之美。
          2.我們屋后有半畝隙地。
          張:Behind our house there lay half a mu of vacant land.
          劉:At the back of our house there was half a mu of vacant land.
          there be式結(jié)構(gòu)似有“正式”和“靜態(tài)”之意味,且“畝”不宜直譯為mu,因為作者的本意并非輸出中國文化,而是重在抒發(fā)做人的道理。就算譯者想要傳輸中國文化,也應(yīng)換算成英制單位。另外,“半畝”不指具體的數(shù)目,類似的例子還有“一年半載、過半、在半中間、半夜、半成品、半邊天、半大不小、半斤八兩、半壁江山、半導體、半桶水、半生不熟”等。改譯成Behind our house lay a patch of vacant lanA5NXGLcAn9jqfyp4zMimK+h5QC5ebbn7t/ySz+k6jpg=d,有動感又形象形式活潑。
          3.母親說:“讓它荒蕪著怪可惜,既然你們那么愛吃花生就辟來做花生園罷?!?br/>  張:Mother said,“It’s a pity to let it lie waste.Since you all like to eat peanuts so much,why not have them planted here.”
          劉:“It’s a pity to let it go to waste like that,” Mother said,“Since you all enjoy eating peanuts,let us open it up and make it a peanut garden.”
          “Enjoy”“l(fā)ike”均有“喜歡”之意,但“enjoy”程度更深,可想象孩子們吃花生時既滿足了自己的食欲,又獲取了其他方面的樂趣,如做人的道理。另外,“l(fā)ike to do Sth” 表示一次性動作,“l(fā)ike doing sth”表示一種習慣性動作。由原文可知孩子們有愛吃花生的習慣。母親的口吻帶有一種商量和循循善誘的語氣,why don’t you do sth太正式,let’s do sth結(jié)構(gòu)則稍顯平淡,why not do sth口語色彩濃,可以突出母親和藹可親,對子女寵愛有加的形象。“have sth done”被動式改為“why not plant some here!”更符合原文風格:口語化、通俗易懂。改譯為Mother said,“It is pity to leave it lying waste.Since you enjoying eating peanuts so much,why not plant some peanuts here·”
          4.我們幾姐弟和幾個小丫頭都很喜歡——買種的買種,動土的動土,灌園的灌園,過不了幾個月,居然收獲了!
          張:That exhilarated us children and our servant girls as well,and soon we started buying seeds,ploughing the land and watering the plants.We gathered in a good harvest just after a couple of months!
          劉:At that my brother,sister and I were all delighted and so were the young housemaids.Some went to buy seeds,some dug the ground and others watered it and,in a couple of months,we had a harvest.
          “丫頭”可指“女孩子”和“丫鬟”,這里指后者,用舊體形式的maidservants與作者生活的年代相符合。同時要考慮小孩的語言使用的活潑簡單,這方面劉士聰先生處理得較好。查閱朗文詞典,plough指“以犁耕地”,dig為“翻地”,所以“動土”譯為dig up the land/plot為好?!癆 good harvest”為“豐收”,原文為“收獲”。另外,“居然”的意味沒有傳達出來,結(jié)合兩個譯文改譯為:At that my brother,sister and I were all delighted and so were the young maidservants.Soon some went to buy seeds,some dug up the plot and others watered it.Unexpectedly,in a couple of months our work was rewarded.
          5.媽媽說:“今晚我們可以做一個收獲節(jié),也請你們爹爹來嘗嘗我們底新花生,如何·”我們都答應(yīng)了。
          張:Mother said,“How about giving a party this evening to celebrate the harvest and invite your Daddy to have a taste of our newly-harvested peanuts·”
          劉:“Let us have a party tonight to celebrate,” Mother suggested,“and ask Dad to come for a taste of our fresh peanuts.What do you say·” We all agreed,of course.
          “如何·”處理為特殊疑問句不好,“How about”口語色彩濃。party 不宜用來翻譯“收獲節(jié)”,因party含社交聚會之意。查閱詞典feast;除指“盛會,宴會”之外,還指“進行有趣活動的節(jié)日事件”。原文指的就是“一家人吃花生,談?wù)摶ㄉ?,故改譯為Mother said,“How about having a feast on peanuts this evening to celebrate the harvest and invite your Daddy to have a taste of our newly-harvested peanuts,shall we·”We all agreed.
          6.母親把花生做成好幾樣的食品,還吩咐這節(jié)要在園里底茅亭舉行。
          張:Mother made quite a few varieties of goodies out of the peanuts,and told us that the party would be held in the thatched pavilion on the peanut plot.
          劉:Mother cooked the peanuts in different styles and told us to go to the thatched pavilion in the garden for the celebration.
          Goodies為一非正式用語,適合這樣的場合,但goodies多指甜食。因而“花生做成好幾樣的食品”譯為“goodies out of the peanuts”不妥。如果翻譯過來,那么“好吃的東西”似乎比“食品”更為傳情達意。故改譯為Mother cooked the peanuts into a few good eats,and told us to hold a feast on the peanuts in the thatched pavilion。
          7.那晚上底天色不好,可是爹爹也到來,實在很難得!爹爹說:“你們愛吃花生么·”
          張:It looked like rain that evening,yet,to our great joy,F(xiàn)ather came nevertheless.“Do you like peanuts·” asked Father.
          劉:The weather was not very good that night but,to our great delight,Dad came all the same.“Do you like peanuts·” Dad asked.
          “It looked like rain”屬意譯,表達了“天色不好”的意思,但有些過頭,因為不一定是有下雨征兆的天氣,可能只是沒有朗月當空,便于慶祝罷了;“實在很難得”譯為“to our great joy”沒將原文語氣完全表達出來。通讀原文“父親”只在最后出現(xiàn)了,其余均為“爹爹”。故改譯為The weather wasn’t cooperating,yet,to our delight,Dad did come! “Do you like peanuts·” Dad asked.
          8.我們都爭著答應(yīng):“愛!”
          張:“Yes,we do!” We vied in giving the answer.
          劉:“Yes!” we all answered eagerly.
          查閱知“vie”一詞很正式,指to compete (against someone) (for something),搭配有Vie with sb for sth; vie with sb in doing sth;vie with sb to do sth;vie with sb;vie for sth.前一譯文屬搭配誤用,且“Yes,we do”是正式答語;而后一譯文那種爭奪父愛的意味有缺失,故改為“Yes!” We all raced to give the answer.
          9.“誰能把花生底好處說出來·”
          張:“Which of you could name the good things in peanuts·”
          劉:“But who can tell me what the peanut is good for·’
          “The good things in peanuts”使人聯(lián)想到花生包含的fat,protein等成分,而不是花生的優(yōu)點。此處,第二個譯文較好?!昂锰帯本褪侵浮坝锰帯?,故可改譯為But who can tell the uses of peanuts·
          10.姊姊說:“花生的氣味很美?!?br/>  張:“Peanuts taste good,” said my elder sister.
          劉:“It is very delicious to eat,” my sister took the lead.
          英語里“sister”可以譯為“姊姊”,“姊姊”不必譯為“elder sister”。另外,沒有加工過的花生氣味能美到哪里去!taste good為誤譯,改譯為cooked peanuts have a good taste and smell.
          11.哥哥說:“花生可以制油?!?br/>  張:“Peanuts produce edible oil,” said my elder brother.
          劉:“It is good for making cooking oil,” my brother followed.
          花生加工后才能制油,Peanuts can be used to produce edible oil較妥,但結(jié)合當時為孩童,“Peanuts can be made into oil”my brother followed更妥。
          12.我說:“無論何等人都可以用賤價買它來吃;都喜歡吃它,這就是它底好處?!?br/>  張:“Peanuts are so cheap,”said I,“that anyone can afford to eat them.Peanuts are everyone’s favorite.That’s why we call peanuts good.”
          劉:“It is inexpensive,”I said,“Almost everyone can afford it and everyone enjoys eating it.I think this is what it is good for.”
          “everyone’s favorite”屬誤譯,有點過度翻譯。第二個譯文的almost,I think改變了原文意味。故改譯為“It is inexpensive,” I said,“Everyone can afford it and enjoys eating it.This is what it is good for.”
          13.爹爹說:“花生底用處固然很多;但有一樣是很可貴的?!?br/>  張:“It’s true that peanuts have many uses,” said Father,“but they’re most beloved in one respect.
          劉:“Peanuts is good for many things,” Dad said,“but there is one thing that is particularly good about it.”
          前一譯文it’s true that有點正式,“爹爹”譯得不妥;后一譯文的good for many things是“可用于很多東西”,且is應(yīng)為are。故改譯為“No doubt peanuts have many uses,” Dad said,“but there is one thing praiseworthy about it.”
          14.這小小的豆不像那好看的蘋果、桃子、石榴,把它們底果實懸在枝上,鮮紅嫩綠的顏色,令人一望而發(fā)生羨慕的心。它只把果子埋在地底,等到成熟,才容人把它挖出來。
          張:Unlike nice-looking apples,peaches and pomegranates,which hang their fruit on branches and win people’s instant admiration with their brilliant colors,tiny little peanuts bury themselves underground and remain unearthed until they’re ripe.
          劉:Unlike apples,peaches or pomegranates that display their fruits up in the air,attracting you with their beautiful colors,peanuts buries its fruit in the earth.It does not show itself until you dig it out when it is ripe and,Invite admiration有些“招搖”的意味。“等到成熟,才容人把它挖出來”前一譯文要好??傮w而言,前一譯文忠實原文,類似原文結(jié)構(gòu),選詞準確,;后一譯文打破原文束縛,重組表達。但which,that引起的定語從句不符合對小孩的說理,故改譯為While nice-looking apples,peaches and pomegranates hang their fruit on branches and win people’s instant admiration with their brilliant colors,tiny little peanuts bury their fruit underground and woudn’t like to be dug out until they are ripe.
          15.你們偶然看見一棵花生瑟縮地長在地上,不能立刻辨出它有沒有果實,非得等到你接觸它才能知道。
          張:When you come upon a peanut plant lying curled up on the ground,you can never immediately tell whether or not it bears any nuts until you touch them.”
          劉:... unless you dig out,you can’t tell whether it bears fruit or not just by its frail stems above ground.”
          前一譯文前面部分結(jié)構(gòu)過于復(fù)雜,后一譯文更能闡發(fā)其中微言大義,但above使用有誤。結(jié)合語言風格,改譯為When you happen to see a peanut plant crouching there,you cannot tell at once whether it bears fruit or not just by its frail stems on ground..
          16.我們都說:“是的?!蹦赣H也點點頭。爹爹接下去說:“所以你們要像花生,因為它是可用的,不是偉大、好看的東西?!?br/>  張:“That’s true,” we said in unison.Mother also nodded.“So you must take after peanuts,” Father continued,“because they’re useful though not great and nice-looking.”
          劉:“That’s true,” we all said and Mother nodded her assent.“So you should try to be like the peanut,” Dad went on,“because it is useful,though not great or attractive.”
          In unison指“say the same words at the same time”,在程度上有些過了;take after指“to look or behave like an older relative” ,原文“要像花生”指向花生學習。文章是一次愜意的口頭交談,可改譯為“That’s right,” we all said and Mother nodded her assent.“So you should lead your lives as groundnut does,” Daddy went on,“because it is useful,though not great and nice-looking.”
          17.我說:“那么,人要做有用的人,不要做偉大、體面的人了?!钡f:“這是我對于你們的希望。”
          張:“Then you mean one should be useful rather than great and nice-looking,” I said.“That’s what I expect of you,” Father concluded.
          劉:“Do you mean,” I asked,“we should learn to be useful but not seek to be great or attractive·” “Yes,” Dad said.“This is what I wish you to be.”
          由上下文可知“爹爹說”帶有總結(jié)性,可選end,sum up,summarize,wind up,conclud,最后一個太正式。結(jié)合當時孩子們天真、渴望學習的情形,改譯為“Do you mean,” I asked,“we should learn to be useful rather than great and nice-looking·” “That’s what I expect of you,” Daddy summed up his speech.
          18.我們談到夜闌才散,所有花生食品雖然沒有了,然而父親的話現(xiàn)在還印在我心版上。
          張:We kept chatting until the party broke up late at night.Today,though nothing is left of the goodies made of peanuts,F(xiàn)ather’s words remain engraved in my mind.
          劉:We stayed up late that night,eating all the peanuts Mother had cooked for us.But Father’s words remained vivid in my memory till this day.
          查閱詞典on one’s mind是“有心事,擔心”,mind表不忘某事的搭配有keep/bear something in mind。另外前一譯文含“今天,盡管花生食品吃完了,但……”好像花生吃完不是在當時而在當下。結(jié)合原文簡潔的特點,改譯為We kept chatting late that night until eating up the peanuts,but my father’s words still remain engraved in my mind till now.
          四、結(jié)語
          以上對《落花生》二譯本批評,是先進行文本分析,確定其為重形式的文本,接下來按照賴斯的觀點:此類文本翻譯要求譯文和原文有相似的形式和同等的美學效果,圍繞此進行翻譯批評。本文在翻譯批評過程中涉及了諸多文本以外的因素。
          注釋:
         ?、僦笍埮嗷g文,以下同.
         ?、谥竸⑹柯斨g文,以下同.
          參考文獻:
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          [5]劉士聰.漢英英漢美文翻譯與鑒賞[C].南京:譯林出版社,2002:137-139..
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