安徽省濉溪縣百善中心學校八（8）班 趙帥

My English Teacher

安徽省濉溪縣百善中心學校八（8）班 趙帥

本期點評名師

姜經(jīng)志 男，中學英語高級教師，省級骨干教師，淮北市優(yōu)秀教師，中國外語學習研究會會員，《學英語》、《英語周報》特約編輯。多年來，在省級以上報刊發(fā)表文章800余篇，并有多篇論文獲獎。曾主編《初中生英語滿分作文大全》、《英語奧林匹克》等，多次輔導學生在國家和省級英語競賽中獲獎。

Hello,everybody!My name is Zhao Shuai.I’m in Baishan Middle School.All of my classmates and I like one of our teachers very much.She is friendly to us.Can you guess who ①is she?Oh,she’s my English teacher—Zhang Juan.We often call her“Miss Zhang”.Now,let me introduce Miss Zhang②for you.

She is neither too tall nor too short.She is thin.She has short hair.She has two big eyes and a small nose.She often wears red clothes.

Miss Zhang is good③to singing.She can also④plays the piano very well.She told us she⑤can play the piano when she was eight years old.

She is very kind to us.In class,she is like our mother.She often reads stories to us in English.From these,we ⑥cann’t only increase our interests in English,but also extend our vocabulary.It is really good for us.

After class she has many things to do.There are always many exercise books on her desk.She has to correct them for us.So our teacher’s daily life is very busy.We learn from her that“No pain,no gains”.But sometimes she plays games with us.

This is our English teacher,a good teacher.We all like her very much.

1.優(yōu)點：

小作者全面地描寫了英語老師的肖像，說明了老師的性格特點、敬業(yè)精神，用詞準確，表達生動，引用老師的座右銘起到了畫龍點睛的作用。

2.需要修改的地方：

①is she應改為she is。賓語從句應用陳述句語序，即主語在前，謂語在后。

②for應改為to?！跋蚰橙私榻B某人”應用introduce sb.to sb.，介詞必須用to。

③to應改為at。表示“擅長”應用be good at。be good to sb.則表示“對某人好”的意思。

④plays應改為play。can是情態(tài)動詞，后面應接動詞原形。

⑤ can應改為could。表示“過去能……”，應用can的過去式could。

⑥ cann’t應改為 can not或 can’t。can not的縮寫應該是 can’t。

3.評分：

按中考英語作文滿分20分的標準，本文修改前可得16分。