唐孝云

一、概述

在高考備考中，讀后續(xù)寫與故事復(fù)述兩道題型都是學(xué)生的難點(diǎn)。從題型的設(shè)置看，讀后續(xù)寫與故事復(fù)述有一個(gè)巨大的共同點(diǎn)，即文本都以記敘文為主。從考查的目的看，讀后續(xù)寫側(cè)重考查學(xué)生的閱讀和寫作能力，故事復(fù)述則側(cè)重考查學(xué)生的聽(tīng)說(shuō)能力；但是，也有相似之處，讀后續(xù)寫需要學(xué)生通過(guò)閱讀獲取信息弄懂故事梗概，再根據(jù)段首句關(guān)鍵詞進(jìn)行合理的推斷，組織語(yǔ)言寫出符合邏輯的故事；而故事復(fù)述需要學(xué)生通過(guò)已知信息及故事梗概和關(guān)鍵詞，做出合理的推斷，有針對(duì)性地聽(tīng)取更多的信息后，組織語(yǔ)言復(fù)述原文故事。由此可見(jiàn)，教師可以將兩道題型的備考結(jié)合起來(lái)。現(xiàn)在以兩道高考真題為例，分析如何運(yùn)用相似的解題方法和步驟幫助學(xué)生提高讀后續(xù)寫與故事復(fù)述的解題能力。

二、實(shí)例分析——讀后續(xù)寫

（2021年全國(guó)Ⅰ卷）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

A MOTHERS DAY SURPRISE

The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother's Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do．

The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next，Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time，she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely．

Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute，the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully，Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeff's hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear！ The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.

注意：

1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2. 請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

Para.1：As the twins looked around them in disappointment，their father appeared.

Para. 2：The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.

1. 讀要素

Elements

Whothe twins （Jenna，Jeff），father，mother

Whenon Mother's Day

Wherein the kitchen，upstairs，at home

WhatThe twins planned to cook breakfast for their mother on Mother's Day.

通過(guò)讀故事原文的基本要素并進(jìn)行歸納可以得出故事梗概：在母親節(jié)的當(dāng)天，雙胞胎Jenna和Jeff在廚房里為媽媽準(zhǔn)備早餐作為節(jié)日禮物。剛開(kāi)始進(jìn)行得比較順利，但是后來(lái)粥溢出來(lái)了，Jeff的手燙傷了，面包也烤焦了。正在一籌莫展之時(shí)，父親出現(xiàn)了。

2. 推故事

閱讀段首句，找出關(guān)鍵詞推斷故事的發(fā)展。續(xù)寫第一段關(guān)鍵詞有Twins，disappointment，their father；續(xù)寫第二段關(guān)鍵詞有the breakfast，upstairs，woke up，their mother?；谠模鶕?jù)正能量原則以及第二段關(guān)鍵詞，可以推斷，續(xù)寫第一段父親出現(xiàn)應(yīng)該起到的是積極作用，即成功地幫助雙胞胎完成給媽媽做早餐的計(jì)劃。續(xù)寫第二段則主要側(cè)重描寫媽媽在看到雙胞胎的節(jié)日禮物時(shí)的反應(yīng)。

3. 寫故事

根據(jù)歸納出的故事梗概和段首句中關(guān)鍵詞進(jìn)行合理的推斷后，學(xué)生可以以每一段出現(xiàn)的人物為主語(yǔ)造簡(jiǎn)單句構(gòu)建故事情節(jié)。根據(jù)150字的字?jǐn)?shù)要求，續(xù)寫的每一段大概寫8句左右即可。續(xù)寫如下：

Para.1：As the twins looked around them in disappointment，their father appeared.

① He saw the mess in the kitchen．

② He understood．

③ He comforted the twins.

④ He helped them cook breakfast.

⑤ He taught them to cook porridge，fry bread and clean the kitchen.

⑥ The breakfast was ready.

⑦ The twins were delighted.

⑧ They thanked their father.

Para. 2：The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.

① The twins said Happy Mother's Day．

② Their mother saw the breakfast．

③ She was surprised．

④ She was moved．

⑤ She said thank you．

⑥ She hugged them．

⑦ Their father also came into the room．

⑧ She suggested they eat all of the food together．

⑨ They enjoyed the breakfast together.

4. 潤(rùn)故事

為了使故事完整且豐滿，在構(gòu)建故事情節(jié)時(shí)，學(xué)生要盡可能地進(jìn)行細(xì)節(jié)描寫，即要考慮到主要人物的動(dòng)作、心理、語(yǔ)言，必要時(shí)添加起到烘托作用的環(huán)境描寫。為了使故事條理清晰邏輯合理，學(xué)生需要使用恰當(dāng)?shù)你暯釉~。為了使故事更具有可讀性，學(xué)生在運(yùn)用語(yǔ)言時(shí)，可適當(dāng)使用從句、非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞等復(fù)雜的語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)，同時(shí)，要注意語(yǔ)言的一致性，即人稱一致、時(shí)態(tài)一致等。

A possible version：

Para.1：As the twins looked around them in disappointment，their father appeared. Seeing the mess in the kitchen，their father understood what they were doing（動(dòng)作描寫）. “Don't be upset. Let me help you，dear.（語(yǔ)言描寫）” He comforted them gently. The twins changed their sorrow into joy （心理描寫）.Then their father taught them to cook porridge，fry bread and clean the kitchen step by step（動(dòng)作描寫）. Within half an hour，under their father's guidance，the kitchen was cleaned and the breakfast was ready（動(dòng)作描寫）. The twins were so delighted and thanked their father sincerely（心理及動(dòng)作描寫）．

Para. 2：The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up. “Happy Mother's Day！ Mom！” They said to their mother happily（語(yǔ)言描寫）. At the sight of the breakfast，their mother was surprised and moved（心理描寫）. “Thank you！ Sweetheart！” She replied and hugged them tightly（語(yǔ)言及動(dòng)作描寫）. At the moment，their father came into the room and looked at them with a satisfied look（動(dòng)作及心理描寫）. The twins asked their mother to try the breakfast and looked at her expectantly（語(yǔ)言及動(dòng)作描寫）. She tried it and nodded，“It tastes so good?。▌?dòng)作及語(yǔ)言描寫）” Then she suggested they eat the breakfast together（語(yǔ)言描寫）. They enjoyed the breakfast delightedly（動(dòng)作描寫）. The house was surrounded by love（環(huán)境描寫）．

三、實(shí)例分析——故事復(fù)述

（2019年試題A）Part C Retelling

In this part，you are required to listen to a monologue and then retell what you have heard in your own words．

梗概：母親節(jié)，Tom欲購(gòu)鮮花郵遞給母親，一小女孩的行為使他改變了主意。

關(guān)鍵詞： flower（鮮花） deliver（郵遞） girl（女孩） cancel（取消） in person（親自）

1. 推故事

在平時(shí)的訓(xùn)練過(guò)程中，學(xué)生可按照讀后續(xù)寫的方法，在聽(tīng)錄音之前根據(jù)故事梗概和關(guān)鍵詞，進(jìn)行合理的推斷，并以主人公做主語(yǔ)造簡(jiǎn)單句構(gòu)建故事情節(jié)。

① Tom wanted to buy some flowers for his mum on Mother's Day．

② Tom wanted to deliver the flowers to his mum．

③ Tom met a little girl．

④ The little girl did something．

⑤ Tom changed his mind．

⑥ Tom canceled his delivery．

⑦ Tom gave the flowers to his mum in person.

2. 聽(tīng)信息

在記敘文中，主人公的行為動(dòng)作推動(dòng)著故事發(fā)展，因此，首先要聽(tīng)的信息是主人公的動(dòng)作即錄音中的動(dòng)詞。然后，根據(jù)故事的要素，考生必須要聽(tīng)取的信息有who，when，where，what，how，why。在這一道高考題中，學(xué)生需聽(tīng)取的信息包括：除了Tom，girl還有沒(méi)有其他的人物；已知when是母親節(jié)，學(xué)生則需注意具體的故事發(fā)展先后的具體時(shí)間詞；故事發(fā)生的地點(diǎn)where即在哪里買花，在哪里遇到的小女孩等；以及推斷故事中 “The little girl did something”，小女孩到底做了什么即what，也就是Tom是how 和why改變主意的。

最后，根據(jù)讀后續(xù)寫潤(rùn)故事的方法，為了使故事完整且豐滿，細(xì)節(jié)描寫要全面，即要盡可能地聽(tīng)取有關(guān)主人公的心理描寫、語(yǔ)言描寫以及必要的環(huán)境描寫。

3. 作記錄

在推斷出的故事的基礎(chǔ)上，記錄需要特意聽(tīng)取的信息，記錄時(shí)恰當(dāng)使用常用的速記方法，如下表所示：

4. 說(shuō)故事

根據(jù)推斷出的故事和記錄的信息，組織語(yǔ)言說(shuō)出故事。與訓(xùn)練讀后續(xù)寫“潤(rùn)故事”一樣，在組織語(yǔ)言時(shí)，注意語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)，保持人稱和時(shí)態(tài)一致。為了使故事條理清晰邏輯合理，需要使用恰當(dāng)?shù)你暯釉~。

Possible version：

On Mother's Day，Tom stopped his car outside a flower shop. He wanted to buy some flowers and deliver them to his mother. Before he entered the shop，he saw a little girl crying on the roadside. He walked to the girl and asked what happened. The little girl told him she wanted to buy a rose for her mom but she didn't have money. After hearing the girl's words，Tom took the girl's hand，entered the shop，ordered flowers for his mum and bought a rose for the girl. Then，Tom wanted to drive the girl home. However，the girl said she wouldn't go home but go to the bus station. Because her mum worked in another town and she wanted to give the rose to her today. Tom was touched and changed his mind. After driving the girl to the station，he returned to the shop，canceled the delivery，bought flowers and a box of chocolates，drove to his mom，and gave them to her in person．

四、結(jié)語(yǔ)

總之，在讀后續(xù)寫和故事復(fù)述的備考過(guò)程中，巧妙地運(yùn)用故事梗概和關(guān)鍵詞，將兩道題型的訓(xùn)練有效地結(jié)合起來(lái)，優(yōu)化教學(xué)設(shè)計(jì)，不僅能夠鞏固學(xué)生的語(yǔ)法知識(shí)、訓(xùn)練學(xué)生的閱讀寫作能力，也能提升學(xué)生的聽(tīng)說(shuō)能力，更重要的是訓(xùn)練了學(xué)生觸類旁通的邏輯思維能力。

責(zé)任編輯吳昊雷