廣東 周淑涵

As I sat in the second-floor window of our brick schoolhouse that afternoon,my heart began to sink further with each passing car.This was a day I'd looked forward to for weeks—Miss Pace's fourth-grade,end-of-the-year party.Miss Pace had kept a running countdown(倒計(jì)時(shí)） on the blackboard all that week,and our class of nine-year-olds had bordered on insurrection by the time the eagerly anticipated “Party Friday” had arrived.

I had happily volunteered my mother when Miss Pace requested cookie volunteers.Mom's chocolate chips were most popular on our block,and I knew they'd be a hit with my classmates.But two o'clock passed,and there was no sign of my mother.Most of the other mothers had already come and gone,dropping off their offerings of punch and crackers,chips,cupcakes and brownies.My mother was missing in action.

“Don't worry,Robbie.She'll be along soon,” Miss Pace said as I gazed down the street.I looked at the wall clock just in time to see its black minute hand shift to half-past.Around me,the noisy party continued,but I wouldn't move from my window watch post.

Miss Pace tried her best to persuade me to move,but I stayed still,holding out hope that the familiar family car would round the corner,carrying my rightfully embarrassed mother with a tin of her famous cookies tucked under her arm.

The three o'clock bell soon gave me a sudden shock from my thoughts and I disappointedly grabbed my book bag from my desk and shuffled out the door for home.On the four-block walk to our house,I plotted my revenge.I would slam the front door upon entering,refuse to return her hug when she rushed over to me,and swear never to speak to her again.

The house was empty when I arrived and I looked for a note on the refrigerator that might explain my mother's absence,but found none.My chin quivered with a mixture of heartbreak and rage.For the first time in my life,my mother had let me down.

Useful sentence patterns

1.Miss Pace had kept a running countdown on the blackboard all that week,and our class of nine-year-olds had bordered on insurrection by the time the much-anticipated “Party Friday” had arrived.那個(gè)星期佩斯小姐在黑板上做了個(gè)倒計(jì)時(shí)牌，當(dāng)這個(gè)萬眾期待的“周五派對(duì)日”到來的時(shí)候，我們一班九歲大的孩子們興奮得像炸開了鍋一樣。

分析：本句為復(fù)合句，包含一個(gè)and連接的并列句，以及by the time引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語從句，意為“到了……的時(shí)候”。其中，border on insurrection是一個(gè)固定搭配，意為“興奮得像炸開了鍋”。

2.The house was empty when I arrived and I looked for a note on the refrigerator that might explain my mother's absence,but found none.當(dāng)我回到家時(shí)，房子里空無一人，我在冰箱上尋找可能解釋母親缺席原因的字條，但我什么也沒找到。

分析：本句為復(fù)合句，包含一個(gè)and連接的并列句，并列句中分別包含了一個(gè)when引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語從句以及that引導(dǎo)的定語從句，還有一個(gè)but連接的并列句。

閱讀上面的文章，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1:

I was lying face-down on my bed upstairs when I heard my mother come through the front door.

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Paragraph 2:

Then my mother did something completely unexpected.She sank down on the bed and began to weep like a little girl.____________________________________________________________

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寫作導(dǎo)引

一、語篇研讀

讀后續(xù)寫要求續(xù)寫的部分在情節(jié)和邏輯方面與原文高度契合。為此，我們必須在掌握原文大意和敘述意圖的基礎(chǔ)上，分析所給文章的情境模式。

分析記敘文的情境模式，就需要關(guān)注5個(gè)W，即：who、what、when、where，以及why。 我們在閱讀時(shí)要把握故事的情節(jié)線，分析故事的起因、開始、發(fā)展，并歸納出故事的主要矛盾，根據(jù)文章中已知的信息，如情感的線索、行為的線索、時(shí)間的線索、空間的線索等來推斷將要發(fā)生的事情，合理構(gòu)思續(xù)寫部分的情節(jié)。

二、情節(jié)構(gòu)思

基于原文本和續(xù)寫段落首句提供的信息，采用圍繞中心提問相關(guān)問題的方法，構(gòu)思要續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié)，一般分為四步。

第一步，根據(jù)已給出的文本判斷文章的立意。

文章給出的部分主要記敘的是：佩斯小組舉辦班級(jí)年終派對(duì)，其他同學(xué)的媽媽都帶著點(diǎn)心來到教室，但是“我”的媽媽沒有來，“我”一直等待，直到派對(duì)結(jié)束。憤怒又失望的“我”回到家發(fā)現(xiàn)家里沒有人，媽媽也沒有給“我”留下解釋的字條，“我”難受極了。結(jié)合文章最后兩段對(duì)“我”的心理狀態(tài)的描寫——“失望地（disappointedly）”“報(bào)復(fù)（revenge）”“憤怒（rage）”“心碎（heartbreak）”等內(nèi)容可推斷出本文的立意是“道歉”和“原諒”。

第二步，根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續(xù)寫第一段應(yīng)包括什么內(nèi)容。

分析第二段的段首句，“媽媽做出了令人意想不到的事情，她倒到床上，哭得像一個(gè)小女孩一樣”，并結(jié)合文本的最后一段“我回到家，發(fā)現(xiàn)家里沒有人，也沒有看到媽媽留下的解釋缺席原因的字條，這是媽媽第一次讓我失望透頂”可知，續(xù)寫第一段要寫媽媽回來以后跟“我”解釋她缺席的原因，并且“我”一開始并不接受她的道歉，這樣才能確保續(xù)寫的兩段是相銜接的。

第三步，圍繞續(xù)寫第一段所給出的段首句以及上面的分析進(jìn)行提問構(gòu)思：

（1）What's my reaction to my mother's coming back?

（2）How did my mother explain her absence to me?

（3）What's my response to my mother's apology?

第四步，圍繞續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句進(jìn)行提問構(gòu)思：

（1）How did I feel when I saw my mother crying?

（2）What did I do to comfort my mother?

（3）How did my mother and I make peace?

三、潤色成篇

在續(xù)寫的過程中要注意情節(jié)連貫，各部分內(nèi)容相銜接：1.兩段的續(xù)寫與所給短文的銜接；2.每段的續(xù)寫與續(xù)寫段首句之間的銜接；3.兩段續(xù)寫之間的銜接。同時(shí)要注意語言風(fēng)格的一致和語法、句型以及所用單詞的準(zhǔn)確性。比如，刻畫人物形象時(shí)運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)?shù)男稳菰~使其栩栩如生，描寫人物心理活動(dòng)時(shí)使用一些動(dòng)詞或副詞使其細(xì)微深入。