王姍姍

摘 要：筆者是一名高中英語教師，多年來在指導(dǎo)學(xué)生高考英語作文學(xué)習(xí)的過程中，通過批改大量作文，發(fā)現(xiàn)學(xué)生在追求復(fù)雜句式的同時犧牲了文章內(nèi)容的“密度”，使得整篇文章顯得華而不實，空洞無物。本文通過分析報刊中的專業(yè)話語（specializeddiscourse）表達簡潔等特性，探索了以研讀英文報刊語句提升英語寫作表達為目標(biāo)的，具有實操性的復(fù)合句修改的設(shè)計實踐，希望通過這種實踐跟更多的老師就提升高考英語寫作表達進行交流。

關(guān)鍵字：高考英語書面表達;報刊;簡潔語句;文章密度

引言：包括黑龍江在內(nèi)的很多省份英語高考書面表達體裁是應(yīng)用文，以書信，郵件為主。書信包括邀請信，申請信，推薦信，感謝信，求職信等。篇幅在100-120之間。在此篇幅中要求考生使用一定的句型，詞匯，清楚，連貫的表達自己的意思。（注解：一定的句型，詞匯包含適當(dāng)使用復(fù)雜句式，高級詞匯，準(zhǔn)確使用過渡語。）然而考生對于使用復(fù)雜句式的理解過于片面——認(rèn)為從句多，尤其是定語從句的大量使用就是衡量優(yōu)秀作文的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，導(dǎo)致文章松散口語化，文章的密度density小。對于這一現(xiàn)象，筆者利用報刊這一專業(yè)話語載體來引導(dǎo)學(xué)生賞析報刊中話語句法特征，如表達的簡潔性（expressive conciseness）前置修飾（premodification）; 詞匯密度（lexical density），以求從句式方面提升英語書面表達的能力。

一、通過研讀英文報刊語句提升英語寫作表達

以下面從報刊中選擇的句子為例，①②句通過分詞替換定語從句③④⑤⑥通過前置修飾語替換定語從句實現(xiàn)句子的簡潔性，并最終提高文章的“密度”。

①After all， it’s difficult not to enjoy the bond with pets as well as the pleasure and challenge brought by a furry friend. （=which is brought by a furry friend.）

②The words， to some extent， mirror the heightened （增強的） public awareness of damage caused by climate change. （=caused by climate change. ）

③It’s an inevitable evolution（=It’s an evolution which can not be avoided or prevented）of the world， having a new generation of young people declaring their identity and living a lifestyle through street culture.”

④After 10 years of reading and watching the growing effects of human-caused climate change（climate change which is caused by humans）and other environmental disasters， it’s easy to feel hopeless.

⑤Your article about the benefitsof newly createdfake rhinohorn（=Your article about the benefits of the fake rhino horn which is newly created ） did not address the challengesand risks （“Fooled you”，November 16th）.

⑥The chemical reaction inside the orange caused the electrons （電子） to move from the zinc to the copper， and thus to make electricity（=which make electricity）.

以下是某重點中學(xué)學(xué)生在高三上學(xué)期的推薦信作文練習(xí)中的樣本，以及根據(jù)報刊句式的特點修改后的版本：

Student A’s possible version

To begin with， I ‘d like to recommend you a film， whose name is Monkey King ： Hero is Back， which is based on classic Chinese fairy tales. I have some reasons for the recommendation. On one hand， it shows Chinese culture. On the other hand， after you watch it， you maybe can’t help longing to become a superhero，which may help you make more friends with common interest.

Improvedversion

To begin with， I‘d like to recommend you a film， Monkey King ： Hero is Back， based on classic Chinese fairy tales. I have some reasons for the recommendation. On one hand， it shows Chinese culture. On the other hand， after watching it， you definitely long to become a superhero surrounded by more friends with common interest.

Student B’s possible version

Firstly， it’s an exciting moviewhich is filled with suspect and dangerand the most important thing——a father’s love... Apart from both of the above， the character of the hero in the movie is complex， a man who is a successful and shrewd businessman and a father. His daughter is accused of killing someone.

Improvedversion

Firstly， it’s a cliffhanger-filled movieand the most important thing—it describesa father’s love... Apart from both of the above， thehero in the movie is a successful and shrewd businessman， and a father， whose daughter is accused of killing someone，thus making the plot complex.

通過對定語從句的替換，修改后的文章在內(nèi)容上和結(jié)構(gòu)是都更加的緊湊，使得文章密度得以提高。

二、結(jié)語

通過研讀英文報刊語句對提升學(xué)生英語寫作表達確實有幫助，但是教學(xué)實踐才剛剛開始，還需要不斷的思考和探索。在今后的教學(xué)中，教師要引導(dǎo)學(xué)生多渠道的挖掘提升寫作能力的材料及方法，并逐漸培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的自主學(xué)習(xí)能力，為終身學(xué)習(xí)打下良好的基礎(chǔ)，真正成為學(xué)習(xí)的主人。

參考文獻

[1]M. Gotti， Investigating Specialized Discourse （3rd edn.， Peter Lang， Bern 2011） 213.

[2]N. 21st Century Teens Senior 2019