By Jean Craighead George
She looked at Chup. He bowed his head to her. His respect awoke Frightful to action. She stretched her neck high. She lifted her feathers to look larger and therefore more beautiful to the tiercel. With this feather talk she told Chup she was bonding with him.She felt a closeness to this pleasant member of her species.
[2] Then a slight movement provoked her to peer behind Chup.
[3] Three young peregrine falcons stared at her. The eyases sat on their bums, legs stretched out in front of them. They were very young, no more than a week old. Their plump bodies were covered with white down; their beaks and feet were gray like the rocks.They were huddled on bare earth in the middle of a garden of pink blazing-star flowers.
[4] “Psee psee,” each one cried. “Feed me.” The sound stirred a new feeling in Frightful. She leaned down as if to pluck food, then, not knowing what came next, she stared at Chup.
“驚悚”看著丘普。丘普朝著她低下頭。丘普的畢恭畢敬讓“驚悚”開始了表演。她把脖子伸得高高,然后展開羽毛,讓自己在雄鷹面前顯得更大更漂亮。通過羽毛展示,“驚悚”告訴丘普,她愿意和他結(jié)合。這個可愛的同類讓“驚悚”有了親近之感。
[2]接著有些細(xì)微的響動讓“驚悚”朝丘普的身后望去。
[3]三只小游隼直勾勾盯著“驚悚”。幼鳥們坐在地上,腿伸在身前。它們很小,不過一周大。圓滾滾的身上覆蓋著白色絨毛;它們的喙和腳都是灰色,像巖石一樣。它們挨挨擠擠,直接坐在一片粉紅色矮百合中間的地面上。
[4]“普希、普希?!泵恐挥坐B都在叫?!拔刮?。”這些叫聲讓“驚悚”有了新的感覺。她俯下身子,似乎要叼起食物,接著,又不知道該做什么,就盯著丘普。
[5] Chup picked up a half-eaten duck and delicately snipped off a small bite. Folding his talons under his toes,he walked to an eyas and placed the morsel in her open mouth. He pulled off another bite and then another, feeding the chick until she was quiet. When the other two called “psee,” he fed them morsel by morsel, patiently, devotedly.
[6] Frightful watched, her own terrible hunger mounting.
When the wobbly eyases stopped eating, Chup broke off a bite of duck and offered it to Frightful. She swallowed ravenously and waited. She was back in her pattern with Sam. When Sam fed her she waited to see if he was going to give her just a bite and take her hunting again, or carry her home to feast and rest. Chup was not part of this routine. He offered no more bites, nor did he take her hunting. Instead he left.He flew off to do as the peregrine tiercel must do—hunt for his mate and young,until the chicks were well feathered and could keep themselves warm without being brooded. When that happened,the female mate would join in the hunt.
[7] Not Frightful. She looked at the duck Chup had left. According to Sam’s training, it was hers. Gingerly at first,then ravenously, she fed herself. Death by starvation comes quickly to a bird of prey, and strength returns as quickly.With each bite her eyes began to glisten with energy, and, like a flame, she soon flickered and stood tall.
[5] 丘普叼起一只吃了一半的野鴨,然后小心翼翼地撕下一小塊肉。他收起腳趾下的利爪,走到一只幼鳥跟前,把那塊肉放到她張開的嘴里。丘普再撕一塊,又一塊,喂那只幼鳥,直到她安靜下來。另外兩只幼鳥也叫著“普?!?,丘普就一小塊一小塊地喂他們?nèi)猓浅D托?、非常慈愛的樣子?/p>
[6]“驚悚”在一邊看著,她感到自己越來越餓。
等那些搖搖晃晃的幼鳥不再吃肉的時候,丘普就咬下一塊鴨肉送給“驚悚”?!绑@悚”大口吞下,然后等待著。她又回到跟隨山姆的模式了。山姆喂她的時候,“驚悚”會等著看他是否再給她一塊肉,然后繼續(xù)打獵,或者帶她回家吃飯休息。丘普卻不是這個做法。他沒有給她更多的肉,也沒有帶她去打獵。丘普飛走了,做他雄性游隼該做的事——為自己的配偶和幼鳥狩獵去,直到幼鳥羽毛豐滿,不需要父母遮蔽也能保持體溫為止。到那時,雌鳥就可以跟雄鳥一起打獵了。
[7]“驚悚”卻不知道這些。她看著丘普留下來的那只野鴨。按照山姆的訓(xùn)練,這是給她的。一開始她還小心翼翼,后來就狼吞虎咽地把鴨子吃掉了。對于猛禽而言,饑餓很快就能致死,而恢復(fù)力氣同樣也很快。每吃一口,她的眼睛就開始因為重獲力量而閃閃發(fā)亮,然后,像一團(tuán)火焰那樣,她立刻熊熊燃燒,昂首挺立起來。
[8] Vitality restored, she lifted one wing and stretched it as far as it would reach. Then she stretched the other,wiped her beak, and sat contentedly.
[8]她又渾身充滿了力氣,就抬起一只翅膀,盡力伸展開來。然后她又伸展另一只翅膀,擦擦自己的喙,心滿意足地坐下來。
【背景知識】山姆不在身邊,“驚悚”開始了艱難的求生之路。在她忍饑挨餓之際,碰到了雄鷹丘普。丘普剛剛喪偶,需要一個伴侶來照顧三只幼鳥。打小被山姆養(yǎng)大的“驚悚”并不懂得如何育雛,不過她慢慢適應(yīng),學(xué)會了如何跟同類交往。這一部分描寫也告訴讀者,人類的養(yǎng)育會給野生動物帶來負(fù)面影響,降低它們野外生存的能力。
【第一段】該段為全知視角描寫,很有趣味。第三句的awoke Frightful to action不宜直譯為“喚醒‘驚悚’采取行動”,會顯得生硬,譯文引申為“表演”。而feather talk如譯為“羽毛對話”也令人費(fèi)解,譯文只描寫動作為“羽毛展示”。
【第三段】短語bare earth不一定是光禿禿的地面,這里指幼鳥身下沒有干草或羽毛來鋪墊,直接坐在地面上。而a garden也不宜譯為“花園”,此處只是一片花兒而已。
【第四段】動詞stir意思是“激發(fā)、激起、引起”,但在句中不好搭配,所以譯文使用了“讓……”字結(jié)構(gòu)。
【第五段】這一段的描寫細(xì)致入微,刻畫了猛禽游隼爸爸柔情似水的一面。原文使用了通常形容人的詞語delicately、patiently和devotedly,為擬人手法,應(yīng)是有意為之。
【第六段】被山姆養(yǎng)大的“驚悚”不了解如何養(yǎng)育幼雛,也不知道游隼父母應(yīng)該扮演的角色。她只能邊觀察邊學(xué)習(xí)。這里的全知視角描寫一邊細(xì)致刻畫過程,一邊解釋游隼的家庭分工,真是寓教于樂。此處翻譯難度不大,只要保持語言的簡潔順暢就好。
【第七段】這一段的倒數(shù)第二句為比較句,譯文顛倒了順序,把介詞結(jié)構(gòu)提前,這樣更順暢。原文最后一句是比喻,譯文按照上下文的大意,把flicker(閃爍、搖曳)明晰化為“熊熊燃燒”,因為flicker也包含“火光跳動”的意思。
【第八段】“驚悚”恢復(fù)了力氣,然后就做伸展運(yùn)動。她終于度過了第一道難關(guān),開始了新生活。原文的敘述看似冷靜客觀,實則寓意深刻,引人聯(lián)想。
【小結(jié)】這一部分的重心在于細(xì)節(jié)描寫,再現(xiàn)“驚悚”和丘普初次相遇、相知并相依為命的過程。原文的理解難度不大,但翻譯起來有好多地方不能直譯和順譯,需要考慮中文的自然流暢而適當(dāng)變通,原文的修辭手法在中文里也應(yīng)該有類似效果,譯文應(yīng)簡潔,也以生動傳神為好。