于孔春

Last summer holiday， I paid a visit for① my friend who lived near the Songjin River. When walking across a bridge， I saw a group of students sitting by the river and drawing pictures. The river was clean with small flowers and grass on all② sides. The air was fresh and many people took walks， talking happily under the trees.

But it used to be a black river and there was a lot of rubbish floating on the water， which gave off a terrible smell. By the end of 2010， the river had been clean and there had been a lot of living things in it. But with the development of industry， the river became dirty. At that time， people there wished the river could be clean again.

Fortunately， in the past two years， the government has paid much attention to the project of cleaning the river and spent a lot of money in③ it. Through painstaking effort， the river is now clean again. How nice the clean river is！

Well try our best to keep it cleaning④ for ever. We hope that everyone will protect water and keep water clean because we only have one earth.

山東梁山揚(yáng)營(yíng)中學(xué)九年級(jí) 李海

點(diǎn)評(píng)

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

文章用了前后對(duì)比的手段強(qiáng)調(diào)了河水由臟變清的過(guò)程，結(jié)尾處得出結(jié)論：我們要珍惜保護(hù)水資源，保護(hù)我們居住的環(huán)境。文章簡(jiǎn)潔明了，層次清楚。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①for改為to。pay a visit to...意思是“訪問(wèn)……；拜訪……”。

②all改為both。all指三者，both指兩者。

③in改為on。spend...on...意思是“在……方面花費(fèi)……”。

④cleaning改為clean。keep sth. adj.意思是“保持……”。

3. 評(píng)分：

按中考英語(yǔ)作文滿(mǎn)分15分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得12分。endprint