羅成勇
假設(shè)你是李華,于2016年9月26日購(gòu)買的一部iPhone7手機(jī)有質(zhì)量問題,要求商店更換。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下列要求,用英語給該店經(jīng)理寫一封投訴信。
要點(diǎn):1. 問題:手機(jī)無法上網(wǎng),不能視頻聊天;店內(nèi)暫無配件,需要一個(gè)月才能修好。
2. 要求:公司應(yīng)盡快予以更換或退款。
注意: 1. 詞數(shù)100左右;
2. 開頭和結(jié)尾已為你與好,不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。
參考詞匯:配件 spare part
Dear Sir,
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
[審題]
這是一封投訴信,是寫給相關(guān)部門或負(fù)責(zé)人,表達(dá)對(duì)產(chǎn)品不滿的信件。我們?cè)谛胖幸鞔_寫出自己的不滿之處,對(duì)相關(guān)部門或個(gè)人表達(dá)采取一定的合理措施來解決問題的期望。
寫投訴信時(shí)語氣要堅(jiān)定,應(yīng)重點(diǎn)表明投訴的原因,敘事客觀、準(zhǔn)確、簡(jiǎn)潔。要證明責(zé)任確實(shí)在對(duì)方,還可以說明由此給你帶來的不便或傷害,以加強(qiáng)投訴的力度。在表達(dá)自己的不滿或抱怨時(shí),用語要把握分寸,即有力度又不失風(fēng)度。最后提出的解決辦法應(yīng)切實(shí)可行。
[結(jié)構(gòu)]
開頭段 提出投訴的內(nèi)容。陳述要盡可能地禮貌、客觀,給讀信人留下好印象。本文的開頭段要直接寫出“我給你寫信投訴是針對(duì)2016年9月26日在你店購(gòu)買的一部iPhone7手機(jī)”。
主體段 說明具體情況。寫明投訴的原因、事情的經(jīng)過及其產(chǎn)生的后果??梢詫懢唧w的問題,也可以寫具體的投訴理由。本文的主體段要把手機(jī)存在的問題和對(duì)“我”的影響寫出來:手機(jī)無法上網(wǎng),不能視頻聊天;店內(nèi)暫無配件,需要一個(gè)月才能修好,但“我”不想等那么長(zhǎng)時(shí)間。
結(jié)尾 提出要求或建議。表達(dá)上述問題得到盡快解決的強(qiáng)烈愿望,也可以提出自己的解決辦法,并希望盡快得到圓滿答復(fù)。本文需要寫出自己的要求:公司應(yīng)盡快予以更換商品或退款。
[注意事項(xiàng)]
文體 投訴信屬于應(yīng)用文,格式同一般書信格式一樣。
時(shí)態(tài) 文章以一般過去時(shí)為主,兼用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。
人稱 主體人稱為第一人稱。
[參考范文]
Dear Sir,
I am writing to you for the iPhone 7 I bought on 26 September, 2016 at your shop.
Having taken it home and used it for a while, I found there was something wrong with it. I couldnt go online with the phone. In addition, nor could I use vido chat to communicate with my friends. Then I took it to your shop, only to be told that it was a new model and there were no right spare parts in the shop. And also the shop assistant told me it would take a month before the phone was repaired. I was so desperate on hearing that. How can I wait that long? Therefore, I require that you change a new one for me or give my money back as soon as possible.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
點(diǎn)評(píng) 這封投訴信開門見山,道出了自己寫信的原因,接著提出要求。文章涵蓋了全部要點(diǎn),語言流暢,發(fā)揮適度,關(guān)聯(lián)詞語的應(yīng)用恰到好處,使用了較多的復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu),使文章增彩不少。
1. 使用了過渡詞。如:in addition, therefore等。
2. 有亮點(diǎn)詞語。如:desperate, communicate with, on hearing, as soon as possible等。
3. 有高級(jí)句式。如:定語從句... the iPhone 7 I bought on 26 September ...,倒裝句nor could I use vido chat to communicate with my friends,現(xiàn)在分詞的完成式作狀語having taken it home and used it for a while,動(dòng)詞不定式作結(jié)果狀語only to be told that ...,固定句式it would take a month before ...等。
[小試牛刀]
假設(shè)你是一位叫李華的乘客,你對(duì)這次航班不滿意,理由如下:
1. 航空公司把你的一個(gè)重要的包弄丟了,包內(nèi)有一份公司機(jī)密文件;
2. 飛機(jī)晚點(diǎn)一個(gè)半小時(shí);
3. 飛機(jī)上的食物質(zhì)量很差;
4. 飛機(jī)上服務(wù)員的態(tài)度也不好。
請(qǐng)就此事給航空公司的經(jīng)理寫一封投訴信,詞數(shù)100左右。
[參考范文]
Dear Manager,
My name is Li Hua, a passenger of your airline. I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your service. I am sorry to say that Im very unhappy about your airline.
First of all, your airline lost one of my important bags, in which there is a confidential paper of my company. Secondly, my plane was late for one and a half hours. You know, I had to attend an important meeting on time. Thirdly, the food on the plane was terrible. Fourthly, I think that the attendants at the airport were unfriendly to me. Honestly speaking, this is the worst airline I have ever seen. The focus of my complaint is where my bag is.
I do hope you can help me find my bag and improve your service.
Yours,
Li Hua