龔磊++陳慈明

2017年的高考即將到來，針對(duì)最令同學(xué)們頭疼的書面表達(dá)，我們給出了五個(gè)范例。

[范例Ⅰ][順承自然，過渡流暢]

（2015·全國(guó)卷Ⅰ）

Dear Peter，

Id like to ask you to write an article for our schools English newspaper.

The “Foreign Cultures” section in our newspaper is very popular among us students. It carries articles written by foreign friends about the cultures of their home countries. Would you please write something about the culture in your part of the United States？ And we would especially welcome articles about how Americans spend their holidays and festivals， and the life of American high school students. You can write anything relevant so long as its interesting and informative. 400 words would be fine. Could we have your article before June 28？

Im looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours，

Li Hua

點(diǎn)評(píng) 一般說來，英語(yǔ)作文要邏輯清晰，銜接緊湊，這主要通過銜接詞的使用實(shí)現(xiàn)。但銜接詞語(yǔ)使用過多，又會(huì)使文章顯得不夠簡(jiǎn)潔。縱觀本文，主要是使用簡(jiǎn)單結(jié)構(gòu)，搭配并列句和部分從句。盡管用的銜接詞語(yǔ)不多，但并未覺得條理不清，結(jié)構(gòu)不明。相反，讀此文給人以一氣呵成之感，其中的奧妙就在于文中雖然大量使用簡(jiǎn)單句，但通過對(duì)簡(jiǎn)單句式加以潤(rùn)色和修飾，如文中第二句It carries articles written by foreign friends about the cultures of their home countries，句子主干部分為It carries articles，在此基礎(chǔ)上再加上written by foreign friends about ...等成分進(jìn)行拓展，很好地將題目的要求表達(dá)出來之余，還能與后文中的the alture in your part of the Unlted States對(duì)照，從而實(shí)現(xiàn)文章內(nèi)容的完美銜接。

[范例Ⅱ][長(zhǎng)短交替，錯(cuò)落有致]

（2016·全國(guó)卷丙卷）

Dear Bob，

Im sorry to say that I cannot go to the bookstore with you on Friday afternoon. I have just found that I have to attend an important class meeting that afternoon. I hope the change will not cause you too much trouble.

Shall we go on Saturday morning？ We can set out early so that well have more time to read and select books. If its convenient for you， lets meet at 8：30 outside the school gate. If not， let me know what time suits you best. I should be available any time after school next week.

Yours，

Li Hua

點(diǎn)評(píng) 在寫作當(dāng)中，為了增強(qiáng)文章的節(jié)奏感和可讀性，可以交替使用長(zhǎng)短句、簡(jiǎn)單句和復(fù)合句。而且多樣化的句式能夠顯示出作者的語(yǔ)言基本功，達(dá)到提升作文評(píng)分等級(jí)的目的。范文的內(nèi)容包括了所有要點(diǎn)，而且做到了語(yǔ)意連貫。文中使用了賓語(yǔ)從句that I have to attend an important class meeting that afternoon和the change will not cause you too much trouble，目的狀語(yǔ)從句so that well have more time to read and select books，條件句If its convenient for you，省略句If not等。長(zhǎng)短句結(jié)合形成呼應(yīng)，使內(nèi)容更加豐富。

[范例Ⅲ][難易相間，層次感強(qiáng)]

（2016·江蘇卷）

On-line voting becomes increasingly popular， and many competitions get people involved in it. It is beneficial to some people， while it puts others into a dilemma over whether to vote or not.

In my opinion， on-line voting is an inseparable part of modern life and should be welcomed， since it is no more than a way to participate in public life. It makes no difference from ordinary voting events， in which candidates go around to seek supports. In addition， the Internet makes surveying and voting easy and convenient， regardless of time and space. Furthermore， voting on the Internet makes instant feedback possible.

To be honest， voters sometimes feel annoyed， not because they hate voting， but because they are divided between emotion and fairness. Things will turn for the better if we can work out some participation rules for people to obey. Therefore， I hold a positive attitude towards on-line voting.

點(diǎn)評(píng) 范文很好地完成了所有任務(wù)。第一段提出網(wǎng)絡(luò)投票很流行，給人們帶來好處，同時(shí)也有不利之處；第二段給出個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)和理由，觀點(diǎn)明確，論據(jù)有力；第三段提出了合理的建議。

從寫作技巧來看，文章中使用了較多的復(fù)合句，如定語(yǔ)從句... in which candidates go around to seek supports，狀語(yǔ)從句... if we can work out some participation rules for people to obey等，搭配使用簡(jiǎn)單句，從而使文章結(jié)構(gòu)合理，層次分明。

文中銜接詞的運(yùn)用較為合理，如in my opinion，in addition，furthermore，to be honest等。

全文語(yǔ)言地道，時(shí)態(tài)和人稱運(yùn)用準(zhǔn)確無誤，體現(xiàn)出很強(qiáng)的語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用能力。

[范例Ⅳ][簡(jiǎn)潔明了，緊扣文題]

（2015·北京卷）

Dear Jim，

Im writing to tell you my exciting plan for the summer holiday. I want to join a Dragon Boat Training Camp. I wonder if youd like to go with me.

This camp will open on July 20， It offers teenagers like you and me a chance to enjoy sports and learn about Chinese culture. If you are interested in it， let me know and Ill send you more information.

Hope to meet you at the training camp this summer.

Yours，

Li Hua

點(diǎn)評(píng) 不少體裁，如書信、電子郵件等，應(yīng)突出其交際作用，行文應(yīng)以簡(jiǎn)潔明了為上。此時(shí)若大量使用復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu)，往往給人以煩冗之感。本文作為一封電子郵件，在簡(jiǎn)潔明了方面做得很好，寥寥數(shù)句就清楚無誤地傳達(dá)了文題的要點(diǎn)。

[范例Ⅴ][表情達(dá)意，生動(dòng)形象]

（2015·重慶卷）

Were I three years younger than I am now， I would strongly recommend that I set more practical and specific goals. As an old saying goes， living without a clear and achievable aim is like sailing without a compass. Compared with many abstract objectives， practical ones can bring us more courage and confidence whenever we make one step forward. If only I could go back and reset my goals.

點(diǎn)評(píng) 本文中l(wèi)iving without a clear and achievable aim is like sailing without a compass.這一句盡管結(jié)構(gòu)并不復(fù)雜，屬于“主—系—表”結(jié)構(gòu)，但該句采用了比喻這一修辭手法，將無目標(biāo)的生活比作無指南針的航海，頓時(shí)使人生目標(biāo)形象起來。