學(xué)生英語(yǔ)作文簡(jiǎn)析

“地球一小時(shí)（Earth Hour）”活動(dòng)是由WWF（世界自然基金會(huì)）發(fā)起的全球最大的環(huán)?；顒?dòng)。在今年的“地球一小時(shí)”活動(dòng)中，你所在的和平社區(qū)舉辦了“愛(ài)護(hù)地球、保護(hù)環(huán)境（Love the Earth, Protect the Environment）”活動(dòng)。請(qǐng)你根據(jù)下列提示介紹一下該活動(dòng)，并談?wù)勀銓?duì)這個(gè)活動(dòng)的看法。

提示：1) 在當(dāng)天的20:30–21:30熄燈一小時(shí)；

2) 每個(gè)人都為環(huán)保出份力，例如多乘坐公共交通工具、不亂扔垃圾等；

3) 活動(dòng)號(hào)召人們養(yǎng)成節(jié)約用電的好習(xí)慣；

4) 對(duì)本次活動(dòng)的看法或感想。

Last week, the activity “Love the Earth, Protect the Environment” was held in our Heping Community.

Lots of people took part in the activity. On that day, from 20:30 to 21:30, all lights were off for an hour. Besides this, a lot of people made a decision to support the activity. Some people decided that they would go to work or school by bus or subway. Some promised that they wouldn’t throw litter anywhere.

The aim of the activity is to call on people to save electricity and protect our Earth as much as possible. In my opinion, this is a very meaningful activity. I hope more and more people can take part in it and make our Earth cleaner and nicer.

山東省臨沂市黃山中學(xué) 九年級(jí)3班 杜佳琪

本文結(jié)構(gòu)完整、語(yǔ)言縝密、句式多樣，是一篇值得借鑒的優(yōu)秀習(xí)作。作者首先提到有很多人參加了本次活動(dòng)，然后介紹了前兩個(gè)要點(diǎn)。要點(diǎn)中間用besides銜接，使得過(guò)渡自然流暢。在介紹第二個(gè)要點(diǎn)時(shí)，作者連用兩個(gè)賓語(yǔ)從句，表達(dá)準(zhǔn)確地道，是本文的一大亮點(diǎn)。最后作者表達(dá)了自己的感想，希望能有更多人加入這個(gè)活動(dòng)，讓地球變得更加干凈美好，緊扣主題，使文章成為了一個(gè)有機(jī)的整體。

指導(dǎo)教師：張蒙蒙

Last week, the activity “Love the Earth, Protect the Environment” was held in our Heping Community.

At 20:30 on that day, everyone turned off their lights. The activity lasted for one hour. Many people made decisions. Some people decided to take the bus or subway to work or school. Some people decided not to throw away any litter.

This activity called on more people to develop good habits for saving electricity. I think this is a good activity. We should love our Earth and protect the environment.

山東省臨沂市黃山中學(xué) 九年級(jí)1班 李杰

本文內(nèi)容完整、要點(diǎn)齊全、表達(dá)地道、語(yǔ)言準(zhǔn)確。但是，文章僅僅局限于所給的四個(gè)要點(diǎn)，除此之外幾乎沒(méi)有任何拓展。內(nèi)容上有直接按照要點(diǎn)翻譯的痕跡，行文不太流暢。要點(diǎn)與要點(diǎn)之間的銜接有些生硬，文章過(guò)渡得不太自然。

指導(dǎo)教師：杜倩