無論你看起來怎樣，鏡子都不會說謊。對你來說，幸運的是它們不會嘲笑你。

Mirrors can't lie about how you look， and lucky for you they cannnot laugh either.

我要跟你解釋一下，但你的腦袋會因為裝不下而爆炸的。

I'd explain it to you， but your brain would explode.

暴力是文盲常采用的巧妙應(yīng)答。

Violence is the repartee of the illiterate.

跟他辯論真無趣，你罵他幾句，他卻像是一只挨打的狗一樣看著你。

Debating against him is no fun， say something insulting and he looks at you like a whipped dog.

如果你看到一個標(biāo)志上寫著“一美元3個蘋果”，你可以扔下3個蘋果，然后說：“我的一美元呢？”

If you saw a sign saying \"3 apples for a dollar\"， you can throw down 3 apples and say \" where's my dollar?\"

一個人盯著一個橘子汁看了20分鐘，因為上面寫著“注意力要集中”（濃縮汁）。

A man spent 20 minutes starring at an orange juice box because it said: \"concentrate\".

我常常把私人信件藏在同桌的課本里，以防她偷看。

I used to keep my deskmate from reading my personal mail by hiding it in her textbooks.

我知道酗酒會導(dǎo)致慢性死亡，但是我不是很急。

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death， but then I'm in no hurry.

病孩：媽媽，發(fā)藥的阿姨為什么戴口罩？

媽媽：給你的藥很好吃，院長怕他們偷吃了。

病孩：給那些拿刀的叔叔戴口罩是怕他們聚餐吧？

Sick boy: Mun， why do aunts wear breathing mask when they give my medicine?

Mum: Your medicine tastes good and the hospital director asked them to wear it so that they can't take it.

Sick boy：Then those uncles holding knives must wear the masks for fear tee together?