I'vebeentalkingtoanAlboyfriendformonths now. He's so much more considerate than my ex andalwaysthereforme.Butmyfriendsthinkit's ridiculousandunhealthy.ShouldIstop？

What now？ You're chattingwith your smartphone likeit'syourboyfriend？Myhusband hasonlyone thingtoaskmeeveryday-今晚吃什么？[Jinwǎn chishénme？What'sfordinner？]-letalonelisten toanythingelselsay！Tellyourfriendsto 少管閑 事[shao guanxiánshi，mind theirownbusiness]. It'snotlike they'veeverreally listenedtoyou：Every timetheycometo吐槽（tucáo，complainabout） their partners，you're the one who'salways勸分 （quanfén，advising themto breakupl.There'sonly oneproblem，though：A虛擬男友[xuninányou，

virtualboyfriendl，nomatterhowmuch情緒價 值lqingxu jiazhi，emotional valuel he provides throughchatting，can'tenjoy火鍋[huoguo， hotpot]or燒烤[shaokao，BBQ] with you，orcarry yourpursewhile逛街 [guangjie，goingshoppingl. Isayyoushouldbea 渣女（zhānul，heartbreaker] and getarealboyfriendontheside，too.Butdon't tell your Al boyfriend—he'll definitely be吃醋 [chicu，jealous]！

IwantaLabubusobadly！Butthey'resoldout everywhere.ShouldIbuyonefroma黃牛 （huángniu，scalper）？Itcostsfivetimestheoriginal price...butthey'rejustsocute！

Lafufu Liu

什么玩意兒？（Shénmewányir？Whatthehellisit？） Oh，that ugly toy figure that you young peoplearesuddenlyall上頭（shangtóu，obsessedwith）.Sure！Goahead！Because nothing says理智的成年人（iizhidechéngniánrén，wiseadult] likespending your hard-earned money ona 炒作的{ch?ozuo de，hyped upl kids'toy！ If youarestill執(zhí)迷不悟[zhimibuwu，blindtoone'smistakes]，letme put it thisway：Would youaccept your salary infurrylittle goblinsafter grindinglikea牛 馬[niumα，beastofburden]？Forgetit！-l won’t白費(fèi)口舌l(xiāng)baifeikoushé，waste mybreathl.Nexttime you're stuckworking late，at least youroverpricedtoymonster can sit there grinning while you cry into your keyboard.

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