閆曉燕

（山東省蓬萊第二中學(xué)）

新高考在山東省已經(jīng)實(shí)行三年了。2020 年全國新高考Ⅰ卷讀后續(xù)寫考查的主題語境是人與社會(huì)，kindness 話題。所給文本講述的是Meredith一家?guī)椭鶥ernard 賺錢補(bǔ)貼家用的故事；2021 年考查的主題語境是人與社會(huì)，family love 話題。所給文本講述的是一對雙胞胎在母親節(jié)的早晨在爸爸的幫助下為母親做早餐。2022 年考查的主題語境是人與自我，personal growth 話題。所給文本講述了患有腦疾的少年David 戰(zhàn)勝自我參加賽跑的故事。這三年沒有考過脫險(xiǎn)和人與動(dòng)物的話題。另外，人與自我主題語境中，青少年的個(gè)人成長話題包括的角度很多，是讀后續(xù)寫考查的重點(diǎn)。基于多年教學(xué)經(jīng)驗(yàn)和對歷年高考題的研究，筆者大膽預(yù)測，2023 年高考英語全國新高考Ⅰ卷讀后續(xù)寫考查這兩個(gè)方向的話題可能性較大。所以，筆者選擇了以下兩篇文章。第一篇是小貓幫助主人脫險(xiǎn)。第二篇是關(guān)于誠實(shí)的個(gè)人成長話題。

（一）

The Christmas holidays were fast approaching,and we had ordered many gifts online.So,when the doorbell rang,I was sure some of the packages had arrived.I ran to the door and swung it open,but no one was there.I sensed something and looked down,only to find a beautiful calico kitte（雜色貓）sitting there,looking up at me with big,intelligent eyes.There was no way that she could have rung the doorbell by herself,was there?

We figured that someone had found the kitten somewhere and left her there,and then the person rang the doorbell and ran away.They accurately guessed we would welcome an additional family member and take care of her.

My husband called her our little angel,so we named her Angelica accordingly.She had a calm aura（氣質(zhì)）about her as she walked straight into our home and hearts,fitting in perfectly.It seemed as if she was always meant to be in this big house with us.She was an old soul and turned out to be the perfect companion.Always by my side,she was more like a puppy than a kitten.Wise beyond her years,she enjoyed wandering through the tunnels and mysterious rooms as much as I did,but with much less fear.Angelica the calico was courageous.

So,I learned from her and decided to be brave,too.There was an underground stone cellar（地窖）I had been eager to explore.The only way in was down a rickety（搖晃的）ladder to its dark depths.I guessed it was an old root cellar,probably twelve feet deep.

I had promised my husband that I wouldn’t explore dangerous areas unless he or someone else was around.Though I knew I was sort of afraid,I figured thatAngelica would count as my companion.I was ready to explore this cellar,and so was she.

I equipped myself with a good flashlight and warm clothes and carefully started down the rickety ladder while Angelica was looking down at me from above.Suddenly,something unexpected happened.Faint cracks and a sudden crash were what I could remember.

注意：

1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150 左右；

2.請按如下格式作答。

Paragraph 1:I woke up with pieces of the rotting,broken ladder lying around me on the stone cellar flo or._________________________________________

Paragraph 2:It seemed my companion,Angelica,was my last hope._____________________________

文本分析：

本篇故事主題語境為人與自然。故事主要內(nèi)容為：“我們”撿到了一只雜色貓，它聰明，可愛，愛探險(xiǎn)?！拔覀儭卑阉醋髯詈玫幕锇椤Ｔ谒挠绊懴?，“我”冒險(xiǎn)去了丈夫一直不準(zhǔn)“我”去的地窖。結(jié)果，“我”摔進(jìn)了地窖。最終在小貓的幫助下，“我”脫離了困境。文章第四段提到了地窖可能有12 英尺深。所以，在續(xù)寫內(nèi)容中，“我”很有可能受傷了。所給文本的最后一段提到“我”帶著手電筒，穿著暖和的衣服，而Angelica 則在上面看著“我”。所以，在續(xù)寫的文章中，手電筒可能好用，但也有可能摔壞了。第一段的情節(jié)可以這樣設(shè)計(jì)：根據(jù)第一段的段首句“我”醒來只看到了石地板上的梯子的零散碎塊，說明“我”摔下來之后暈過去了。所以，醒來后，“我”的反應(yīng)是想要爬起來，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)自己受傷了。而在第二段段首句，似乎Angelica 是“我”最后的希望，此句暗示在續(xù)寫的第一段，“我”努力自救，但失敗了。而在最絕望的時(shí)刻，“我”看到、聽到或想到了Angelica，這樣就可以順利銜接到第二段。第二段的情節(jié)可以按以下思路設(shè)計(jì)：第二段的結(jié)尾應(yīng)該是“我”被及時(shí)救出來，所以第二段的開頭銜接的是“我”想辦法讓Angelica 去找人幫忙。而Angelica 走了之后，“我”焦急地等待，不知結(jié)果如何。當(dāng)獲救之后，回扣主題——Angelica 是“我們”最好的伙伴。

參考范文：

Paragraph 1:I woke up with pieces of the rotting,broken ladder lying around me on the stone cellar floor.An acute pain tearing me into pieces,I struggled to my feet and glanced at the remote ray of light with frustration.Learning that I had to get out of the twelve-foot-deep cellar by myself,I grabbed the bump on the wall and started to climb up.The broken flashlight on the ground witnessed my vain attempts to escape from the situation.Eventually,I collapsed onto the ground,trembling helplessly.Suddenly,a faint meow came into my ears.It was my little angel,with its calm aura as usual！

Paragraph 2:It seemed my companion,Angelica,was my last hope.“Angelica,go and find Dad!”I cried with all my strength.Eyeing me with its intelligent eyes for a moment,the calico kitten ran away.Staring at the entrance,I couldn’t help wondering whether she went to seek help or just to play.My only hope of survival dimmed gradually.After what seemed to be centuries,hurried footsteps broke the dead silence.It was my intelligent companion that found my husband to rescue me!Having left the dark cellar,I lifted my little angel,Angelica,up,murmuring my heartfelt gratitude.Undoubtedly,it was a blessing to have met such a perfect companion in the cold winter!

范文分析：

動(dòng)作線：掙扎著站起來，了解形勢—試圖爬出地窖—失敗后崩潰地癱坐在地上—看到Angelica并求救— Angelica 離開后焦急地等待—獲救。

情感線：剛開始的沮喪—自救失敗時(shí)的崩潰—看到Angelica 時(shí)產(chǎn)生一絲希望—等待中的焦急—獲救后的感激。

在語言方面：在范文第一段的段首句銜接，用acute,tear...into pieces,struggle 來體現(xiàn)“我”受傷的情況，remote ray of light 烘托出“我”渴望逃出去但又希望渺茫的困境；而collapse onto the ground,dead silence 則體現(xiàn)出我的絕望；the twelvefoot-deep cellar,the broken flashlight,intelligent companion,tremble,its calm aura,angel,很好地與原文形成了內(nèi)容上的有效銜接和呼應(yīng)。在語法方面：An acute pain tearing me into pieces,使用了獨(dú)立主格結(jié)構(gòu)；The broken flashlight on the ground witnessed...使用了高級(jí)語法無靈主語；It was...that...強(qiáng)調(diào)句式；...whether she went...，after what seemed to be centuries 賓語從句，after what seemed to be centuries 賓語從句。eventually,suddenly,after what seemed to be centuries,undoubtedly,having left...起到了很好的銜接作用。

（二）

以下這篇文章的主題語境為人與自我，關(guān)注青少年的個(gè)人成長。

An honest mistake

Karie double-checked the words on her spelling test.If she got full marks today,she’d win her class’s First-Quarter Spelling Challenge and a brand new dictionary.Plus,Ms.McCormack had promised to do a handstand if anyone got a perfect score.

Three more words to go.N-i-c-e-l-y.Q-u-i-c-kl-y.H-o-n-e-s-t-y.Wait! She’d spelled “honesty”,not“honestly”.She hurriedly erased the t-y and wrote l-y before handing in her paper.

Ms.McCormack graded the test papers during the break.Meanwhile,Karie sat restlessly in her seat with her fingers crossed.Then,Ms.McCormack walked to the front of the class and cleared her throat.As if she were an Olympic gymnast,Ms.McCormack’s feet flipped（空翻）into the air.

“Congratulations,Karie! You did it!”she announced while upside down.

The whole class broke into applause! Ms.McCormack righted herself and presented Karie with her prize.Karie grinned as she read the label on the box:

To Karie Carter,for her perfect first-quarter score in spelling.

“Is everything OK?”Mom asked as Karie burst through the front door after school.Karie didn’t answer.As if by magic,she took out her spelling test paper and prize and showed them to her mother.Mom hugged her,asking her to put the test paper on the fridge so that Dad could see it when he got home.

Karie took another look at the test paper before putting it on the fridge.Her hands stopped in mid-air.She just couldn’t believe her eyes.“Honesly”?

YES! H-O-N-E-S-L-Y!

Mom sensed something unusual and asked why.Karie stuffed the test paper into her backpack and explained that she was just too excited.Mom brought her some tea.Yes,a“t”was exactly what she needed.

After drinking a little,Karie plodded（沉重緩慢地走）down the hall,lost in thought.How could she tell the class she hadn’t earned the prize and that Ms.McCormack did the handstand for nothing?

注意：

1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150 左右；

2.請按如下格式作答。

Paragraph 1:Later Dad came in with excitement.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:The next morning,Karie went to school earlier than usual.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

文本分析：

本篇故事主題語境為人與自我。故事主要內(nèi)容為Karie 通過努力獲得了拼寫比賽的第一名，得到了獎(jiǎng)品。但是當(dāng)Karie 回到家以后，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)單詞“honestly”拼錯(cuò)了，意味著她并不是真正的第一名。該如何處理這個(gè)問題？Karie 心情沉重地走著，陷入了沉思。這時(shí)候父親開心地走了進(jìn)來……故事的結(jié)局一定是Karie 告訴老師實(shí)情，體現(xiàn)honesty的美好品質(zhì)。第一段的情節(jié)可以這樣設(shè)計(jì)：根據(jù)段首句關(guān)鍵詞with excitement 得知，父親可能已經(jīng)知道她得到第一名的消息，所以接下來可以通過動(dòng)作和情感來體現(xiàn)父親的開心。相對于父親的開心，Karie 的內(nèi)心在糾結(jié)到底該不該說出實(shí)情。根據(jù)第二段段首句的關(guān)鍵詞went to school earlier than usual，得知Karie 一定是下定決心要向老師坦白。所以，在父親發(fā)現(xiàn)Karie 的不對勁的時(shí)候，Karie 告訴父親實(shí)情，并得到父親的鼓勵(lì)和支持。第二段段首句同時(shí)也提到the next morning，可以在第一段添加細(xì)節(jié)，Karie 一夜無眠。第二段的情節(jié)可以按以下思路設(shè)計(jì)：Karie 比平時(shí)早到學(xué)校，說明她想單獨(dú)跟老師談這件事情，而不想在同學(xué)們面前承認(rèn)這個(gè)問題，所以，在第二段沒有必要提到同學(xué)們。第二段要以honesty 主題結(jié)尾，所以第二段主要是關(guān)于Karie 與老師的互動(dòng)。Karie 進(jìn)辦公室之前的緊張可通過動(dòng)作描寫體現(xiàn)出來，也可以寫Karie 勇敢承認(rèn)問題之后老師的反應(yīng)。最后，回扣主題——honesty 可貴的品質(zhì)。

參考范文：

Paragraph 1:Later Dad came in with excitement.Eyeing his beloved daughter tenderly,he praised Karie for her perfect performance.Feeling desperately guilty,the girl was at a loss what to do.Whether to speak out the truth or keep it to herself,the two opposite sounds interwove inside her mind.Eventually,she convinced herself to confess the truth.Having heard about the situation,Dad smiled encouragingly,“Whatever decision you make,we will always be on your side,my dear.”That night was sure to be restless.The anxious winner tossed and turned,and finally made up her mind

Paragraph 2:The next morning,Karie went to school earlier than usual.With the test paper and new dictionary clutched tightly in her hands,the nervous girl plodded into the office.Having explained that she had misspelt the word“honestly”,Karie placed the prize on the desk cautiously.After seconds of silence,Ms.McCormack reached out for the prize,tore off the label and replaced it with one written“To Karie Carter,for her great virtue”on it.Seeing those words of recognition,Karie said goodbye to her teacher cheerfully and sprang out of the office,proud to have confessed the truth.That day,it dawned on her that“Honesty is the best policy”.

范文分析：

動(dòng)作線：爸爸表揚(yáng)Karie—Karie 糾結(jié)該怎么辦—Karie 坦白實(shí)情—父親鼓勵(lì)—Karie 一夜無眠—Karie 走進(jìn)辦公室坦白—Ms.McCormack 認(rèn)可Karie 的做法。

情感線：Karie 進(jìn)退維谷，內(nèi)疚一夜的焦慮—坦白問題的緊張—被老師認(rèn)可后的開心。

在語言方面：desperately guilty,at a loss,whether...or...,the two opposite sounds interwove inside her mind 體現(xiàn)了Karie 內(nèi)心的糾結(jié)。his beloved daughter，my dear 和the nervous girl，以及 speak out the truth 和confess the truth，體現(xiàn)語言的多種表達(dá)。語法方面：使用了狀語從句、非謂語、形容詞短語作狀語等。在寫作手法方面：After seconds of silence,Ms.McCormack reached out for the prize,tore off the label and replaced it with one written“To Karie Carter,for her great virtue”on it.運(yùn)用了動(dòng)作鏈。plodded into the office 與sprang out of the office 通過動(dòng)作描寫體現(xiàn)出情感的對比和發(fā)展。To Karie Carter,for her great virtue 在情節(jié)上很好地與原文的label：To Karie Carter,for her perfect first-quarter score in spelling.形成了內(nèi)容上的呼應(yīng)，也實(shí)現(xiàn)了故事情節(jié)上的發(fā)展，回扣主題。另外，長短句結(jié)合，有效地避免句子的冗長。在銜接方面：eventually,having explained that ...,after seconds of silence,those words of recognition,that day，使文章更加連貫。

相比第一年的幫助鄰居和第二年的母親節(jié)做早餐，第三年的David 參加跑賽更需要學(xué)生關(guān)注文本中的描寫David 的語句，推斷David 的性格特征和行為。學(xué)生基本都能推斷出David 參加了比賽，但是很多學(xué)生沒有關(guān)注到原文的“he always finished his run long after the other children”，在續(xù)寫的結(jié)尾時(shí)設(shè)計(jì)的情節(jié)是David 獲得了第一名。今年是山東省新高考的第四年，讀后續(xù)寫考查的深度和廣度會(huì)加大，對學(xué)生的能力要求也會(huì)更高。希望筆者所選的兩篇文章能起到拋磚引玉的作用。