周越

A new study has been done by junk food enthusiastswhich concludes that eating excessive amounts of fatty，sugary， and oily junk food is indeed healthful for you after all.After hours of gathering thorough data from a handful ofrandom， anonymous online sources with no credibility，enthusiasts have discovered a special nutrient called “junk" -which they claim is exclusively found in junk food andsupposedly helps in brain development.

Dr.Sill Ypants at the Faculty of Advanced Kitchen Eating（F.A.K.E.） said he was astonished to hear of this remarkablediscovery by self – proclaimed junk food experts. “These enthusiasts may not be real doctors，" hestated， "but as a fellow lover of good， greasy food， I can say this discovery is a true scientificbreakthrough… without all the actual science， of course."

The “discovery" was first made when Mr. Swee Tuuth， head of the Junk Obsessed Kitchen Eatery （J.O.K.E.）， realized that whenever he ate junk food， he could feel his neurons spark up and his intelligenceenhance to a higher level. When asked if he was merely experiencing a common sugar rush， Mr. Tuuthdeclined to concluded that junk food did indeed contain a special nutrient to help improve intelligence.

The nutritional make-up of the “junk" nutrient is said to be complex. Due to the abundance of toxins， fattyacids， and external chemicals present in our organs when we eat junk food， the nutrient itself is apparentlydifficult to uncover. However， F.A.K.E. doctors insist that the nutrient "has got to be buried somewhere beneathall those nasty toxins"， which they assert are a key part of the nutrient's composition.

Dr. Sill Ypants has gone on the record to call for the implementation of junk food in all health servicebuildings across the nation."We really should be replacing water with soda and vegetables with sugarydesserts for the good of our future generations. F.A.K.E. doctors like me know that junk food is the path togood health.” When asked if his team at F.A.K.E. could supply us with an approximated illustration of thechemical structure of the nutrient “junk"， Dr. Sill Ypants merely said that studying the supposed nutrientwas “not a priority at this time.”

Anyway， now I have a scientific reason for my mom to buy me hamburgers， fries， pizza， and cokes.

Practice： Circle the answers.

1.It is claimed that the “junk" nutrient helps develop_____.

A.the sugar level ?B.the brain ?C.good eating habit

2.Which group is Dr. Sill Ypants a part of？

A.F.A.K.E. ?B.J.O.K.E. ?C.an online forum

3.What does F.A.K.E stand for？

A.Factory of Advanced Kitchen Eating

B.Faculty of Advanced Kitchen Eatery

C.Faculty of Advanced Kitchen Eating

4.Who is Mr. Swee Tuuth？

A.a doctor of J.O.K.E.

B.head of J.O.K.E.

C.the author of this article

5.Who discovered the “junk” nutrient？

A.an anonymous junk food expert

B.Dr.Sill Ypants

C.Mr.Swee Tuuth

6.Where did Mr. Swee Tuuth first publish his observations？

A.in the newsletter of F.A.K.E

B.in a report for J.O.K.E

C.on online forums

7.Why is the "junk" nutrient hard to uncover？

A.because of an abundance of toxins， fatty acids， and external chemicals

B.because it is hidden under layers of healthful nutrients

C.because of its complex nutritional make – up

Answerkeys：1.B2.A3.C4.B5.C6.C7.A