姜經(jīng)志 男，中學(xué)英語(yǔ)高級(jí)教師、省級(jí)骨干教師、淮北市優(yōu)秀教師、中國(guó)外語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)研究會(huì)會(huì)員、《學(xué)英語(yǔ)》《英語(yǔ)周報(bào)》《中學(xué)生英語(yǔ)》特約編輯;多年來(lái)，在省級(jí)以上報(bào)刊發(fā)表文章800余篇，并有多篇論文獲獎(jiǎng);曾主編《初中生英語(yǔ)滿(mǎn)分作文大全》《英語(yǔ)奧林匹克》《新目標(biāo)英語(yǔ)八年級(jí)暑假作業(yè)》，參編《高中英語(yǔ)知識(shí)點(diǎn)反饋與閱讀》《初中英語(yǔ)題典大全》《21世紀(jì)英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)指南》《初中英語(yǔ)新作文》《中學(xué)生英語(yǔ)水平測(cè)試》等10余冊(cè);輔導(dǎo)學(xué)生有30余人次在國(guó)家和省級(jí)英語(yǔ)競(jìng)賽中獲獎(jiǎng)。

Mom， I Miss You！

You left home after you had a fight with my father and never returned① ever since. At that time I was only two. From then on， Father began to drink and smoke every day. When I was four， he died in an accident. I have lost him.

I live with my grandparents. They have taken lots of trouble to bring me up. When I saw other childrens parents to take② them to the park， to the school or to the cinema， how I envy them！

In dreams， I always see you and hear your voice. Youre a nice woman. I throw myself to you and you take me in your arms closely. How happy I am！ But when I awake from the dreams， everything is still like what it was before. Im a girl without mothers love.

I asked grandma where you had been③ and when you would be back. She said she didnt know， but she said if I were a good child， you would be back soon. So I have been studying hard. Im one of the best students in the school. Teachers and students all like me. I have been expecting you return④ every day， but every day I get disappointed.

Mom， do you still remember me？ Do you know my wish？ Will you please be back soon？ I miss you， Mom.

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

這是一篇情真意切的文章，文中多處使用復(fù)合句，給文章增色不少。這篇文章告訴廣大父母：自己的言行要對(duì)孩子負(fù)責(zé)，不要讓孩子過(guò)早失去父母的愛(ài)。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①“never returned”改為“have never returned”?！癳ver since”意為“從那以后”，常與現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)連用。

②“to take”改為“take”?！皊ee sb. do sth.”為習(xí)慣搭配，意為“看見(jiàn)某人做了某事”。

③“had been”改為“had gone”。“have been to”表示“曾經(jīng)去過(guò)某地（現(xiàn)在已不在那里了）”;“have / has gone to”意為“到某地去了（表示到了某地或正在去某地的途中）”。

④“return”改為“to return”?！癳xpect sb. to do sth.”是習(xí)慣搭配，意為“期待某人做某事”。

3. 評(píng)分：

按中考英語(yǔ)作文滿(mǎn)分20分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得18分。