西爾維婭·赫勒

What’s the best way to describe Norwegian television series… Dull？ Interesting？ Wait， SPECIAL.

Four Norwegian TV shows in particular have taught me so much about the （often crazy seeming） Norwegian way of life.

The Summer Boat

The Summer Boat started in 2009 with NRK1’s 7-hour live broadcast of the train journey from Bergen2 to Oslo3. Since then they’ve shown 18 hours of minute by minute salmon fishing， 13 hours of live knitting， and all 899 hymns in the hymnal sung live for over 60 hours. And then there was my personal favorite， the 12-hour broadcast of logs burning in a fire. It featured people chopping logs and then discussing how to stack it. That took four hours; the remaining eight of “National Firewood Night4” depicted the logs burning in a fireplace.

This show garnered such excitement that even the New York Times puzzled over Norwegians’ reactions to it， such as， “I couldn’t go to bed because I was so excited… When will they add new logs？ Just before I managed to tear myself away5， they must have opened the flue6 a little， because just then the flames shot a little higher.”

In a world of smart phones and endless multitasking， it’s hard to imagine people finding genuine excitement for something so， well， slow.

Lilyhammer

Lilyhammer7 centers around Frank “The Fixer8” Tagliano， a New York mobster （played by Van Zandt9） that moves to Lillehammer， Norway as part of the Witness Protection Program. He shacks up with10 a young teacher and has twins with her， but he also returns to his old ways in a country unaccustomed to rampant criminality. He gets into all sorts of fun mischief with the adorably innocent locals.

The show points out many of the ways Norway is old fashioned， lacking in diversity， and not the easiest place to get things done， but it also just makes the country look so freaking quaint.

Like when Tagliano goes to jail and it looks super cozy and he spends all his time doing fun crafts and group therapy11. My husband Dan said he’d happily move to Norway because worst case scenario he can just hang out12 in prison！ He was kidding of course， though if he hadn’t been he might have had a hard time getting in anyway—during four months of living in Norway’s third largest city I have seen a police officer exactly zero times.

Well， there was that time in the summer when everyone was drinking in the park， which is technically illegal here， and a police van slowly drove by， but no one ever got out. Our friends told us that they were just gently reminding us that they’re here， and… not going to do anything？

Alt for Norge

Alt for Norge13 brings a group of Americans with Norwegian heritage to Norway for the first time， where they compete in various Norway related games to win the grand prize of getting to meet their Norwegian relatives.

The show takes the contestants around the most beautiful and culturally significant areas of Norway.

Norwegians hate confrontation. Each week the contestant who has shown the best team spirit wins the “Spirit Award，” which means they are safe from elimination the next week. This also means that everyone is always super nice to each other in the hopes of winning the award.

The News

And then there’s the national news， which rarely fails to make me feel warm and cozy.

Especially now when so many news channels around the world seem to be successfully filling people with terror， I’m very happy to be in Norway， where the other day a good five minutes of the evening news were devoted to footage of a woman feeding a squirrel. For real.? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ■

怎樣形容挪威的電視節(jié)目才最恰當呢，無聊？有趣？都不是，應該是特別。

尤其是以下這四檔挪威電視節(jié)目，讓我們了解到挪威人（通常顯得十分瘋狂的）生活方式的許多方面。

《夏日小舟》

《夏日小舟》始于2009年，隨著挪威廣播電視公司持續(xù)7小時直播從卑爾根到奧斯陸的火車旅途而揭開序幕。自那以后，他們還播出過18小時連續(xù)不間斷的鮭魚垂釣、13小時的直播編織，以及贊美詩集中所有899首贊美詩超過60小時的直播聯(lián)唱。再之后就是我個人的最愛了——連續(xù)12小時直播在爐火中燃燒的木柴。節(jié)目中還包含了人們劈砍木柴并討論如何堆放它們的過程，持續(xù)4小時;而這集《國家篝火之夜》余下的8個小時則呈現(xiàn)了木柴在壁爐中燃燒的景象。

這檔節(jié)目令挪威民眾興奮不已，以至于《紐約時報》都對他們的反應感到困惑，例如：“我激動到難以入眠……他們什么時候會添加新的木柴呢？正當我就要戀戀不舍地離開電視機前時，他們一定是把煙道打開了一點兒，因為就在這時，火焰噴射得比之前稍高了一些?！?/p>

在這個被智能手機與無盡的多任務處理支配的世界里，很難想象居然有人能在如此——好吧，慢節(jié)奏——的事物之中，體會到真切的興奮。

《莉莉海默》

《莉莉海默》的故事圍繞著一名來自紐約的匪徒弗蘭克“修理工”塔格里亞諾（范·贊特飾演）展開。作為“證人保護計劃”的一部分，他搬遷到了挪威的利勒哈默爾，與一位年輕的教師同居并有了一對雙胞胎;但他在這個不曾適應猖獗犯罪活動的國家里又做回了自己的老本行。他與當?shù)乜蓯鄱鴨渭兊娜藗兿萑肓烁鞣N各樣有趣的鬧劇之中。

這檔節(jié)目展現(xiàn)出了挪威守舊、缺乏多樣性且不容易辦成事情的方方面面;但它也使這個國家顯得無比怪誕有趣。

比如當塔格里亞諾坐牢的時候，監(jiān)獄看起來十分舒適，他將所有的時間都花在了進行有趣的手工制作與集體心理治療上。我的丈夫丹說他非常樂意搬到挪威，因為即便在最壞的情況下，他也能夠在監(jiān)獄悠哉度日！當然他只是在開玩笑。就算不是玩笑，他也無論如何都很難如愿入獄——居住在挪威第三大城市的四個月時間里，我完全沒有見到過任何一名警察。

好吧，有那么一次，當時是夏天，大家在公園里喝酒——這樣做在這里嚴格來說是違法的。接著一輛警車緩緩駛來，但卻沒有人從車里出來。朋友告訴我們，警察只是溫柔地提醒我們他們在這里，并且……不準備做任何事情？

《一切為了挪威》

《一切為了挪威》將一群有挪威人血統(tǒng)的美國人初次帶到了挪威。在這里，他們將在各種與挪威有關的游戲項目中互相角逐，來贏取最終大獎——與他們的挪威親人見面。

這檔節(jié)目將帶領參賽者們游歷挪威最美麗、最具文化意義的地區(qū)。

挪威人厭惡對抗。每周，展現(xiàn)出最強團隊精神的參賽者將贏得“精神獎”，表示下一周里他將免遭淘汰。這也意味著每位選手對他人都總是無比友善，以期贏得這一獎項。

新聞

接下來是全國新聞，一檔很難不讓我感到溫暖而舒適的節(jié)目。

尤其是現(xiàn)在，當世界各地眾多新聞頻道似乎都成功地把恐慌播入人心時，我非常慶幸自己身處挪威。曾有一天，挪威整整五分鐘的晚間新聞時間都被用來播放一個女人喂食一只松鼠的畫面。真的。? ? ? ? ? □

（譯者為“《英語世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎選手）