王紫儀

Preface

Any cultural phenomenon is historical， specific， and may contain both positive and negative aspects. It is positive and useful for a certain social， but useless or even negative for another social need. The modernization of Chinese family culture must depend on the inheritance of tradition and the rational use of foreign culture. The new Chinese family culture should contain the essence of Chinese and American family culture and avoid the decadent and backward factors in Chinese and American family culture to the greatest extent.

1. Comparison between Chinese and American family cultures

The family is the processing plant of human beings， which creates the necessary psychological developmental factors in each individual and cultivates.However， Chinese and American family culture contains different values and pursues and have different behavior patterns， with distinct characteristics. Chinese family culture focuses on the order， mutual dependence and duty center. American family culture highlights the concept of equality， independent development， rights awareness.

1.1 The father-son focus of Chinese family culture and the husband-wife focus of American family culture

Traditional culture has endowed marriage with a serious historical mission and a solemn responsibility to carry on the family line. To marry and start a family is not for the sake of ?dynasty love， but the basic link of clan reproduction. Therefore， couples often depend on the parent-child relationship. The most admired father-son relationship in China is fatherhood. Parents endure hardship for their children and give them unlimited care.?Children should be "good" and "obedient"， and should be grateful to their parents for their upbringing; Be filial to your parents， including financial AIDS and spiritual consolation. Chinese marriage and family are based on the continuation of the "incense fire"， and the relationship between father and son dominates the family changes.

American parents， on the other hand， believe that the infant in the mother's womb is the life sent by god， and the parents are only the media accepting god's will. Parents and children are equal friends， parents should fully respect their children's opinions. Children respect their parents not for their status， but for their ability and wisdom. The parents pay is the legal duty， the child does not need to be grateful to the parents.American individualism emphasizes individual independence， individual rights and individual ownership. It believes that everyone has value and attaches great importance to individual freedom. Parents encourage their children to succeed， and the criterion of success is money. Parents pay attention to the cultivation of children's living ability， financial ability and competitiveness in family education， and encourage children's independence spirit.The establishment of American marriage and family is based on love and focuses on marriage freedom and equality between men and women.

1.2 Group identity of Chinese family culture and personal standard of American family culture

Chinese family culture regards human as a kind of existence， only regards human as a member of the family， and is the derivative of the family relation to which belongs. His value exists because of the family and is embodied thereby， and thus only his destiny and interests are unconditionally entrusted to the family to which belongs. The form of social structure based on family determines that Chinese social existence is dependent first on the family tied by blood relationship.A person enjoys?a secure， continuous， and permanent place in the family， which he or she could not obtain outside the home， and was thus fixed in the network， where he?or she?met all his or her social needs， performed all the necessary duties， and understood and dealt with the different things within and outside the home by a standard of distinction. American family culture emphasizes man's status as an independent individual with reason， dignity and free will， and demands man to be responsible for his own fate. A person does not depend on his family， nor on others， but tends to be self-dependent. American parents believe that true happiness comes from their own efforts.

2. Summary

The difference between Chinese and American family culture is the difference between eastern and western culture. Each culture has its own strengths， and China's Confucian culture makes people more charitable， more family and collective. American realism is more beneficial to be based on the society， can adapt to the society's rhythm more quickly， has stronger practical value. We sincerely hope that Chinese parents can learn more from the education method of American parents to develop family education system suitable for China's national conditions.

Reference

[1] Helen Keller. Three days to see. Harbin： Harbin press， 2009

[2][Britain] Adam Smith. Theory of moral sentiments. Beijing： central compilation press， 2008

（作者單位：大連市第36中學(xué)）