My older brother was my hero growing up. Everyone called him "Jise." He was this hip-hop dude. People loved him. I was the opposite. I blended into①blend into 融入……；與……融合the crowd. I was quiet. I made straight A's. I liked comic books and action figures. So I always looked up to him. He was murdered one night in 1989. I was fi fteen at the time, and I just kind of gave up. So it was like, "What's the point of being good?" I dropped out of school. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I just tagged along②tag along 緊跟；尾隨for the adrenaline high. Even at my lowest, part of me was always the same good kid.I always held down a job. I wrote poetry. I kept dream journals. my friends would always tease me. They'd say: "This isn't you, man. Why are you here?" Hiphop saved me. It gave me a voice. I took all those dream journals and turned them into lyrics. I joined a group called The Arsonists.We toured all over Europe. We pressed a lot of records. My stage name was"Jise," in honor of my brother.It was like I'd gotten us both there.

我哥是我成長的英雄，大家都叫他“Jise”。他是個嘻哈歌手，人們都愛他。我恰恰相反，我就混在人群里。我很安靜，各門功課都是優(yōu)，喜歡漫畫書和手辦，所以我一直很崇拜他。他在1989年的一個晚上被謀殺了。那時我十五歲，就有點失去希望了。所以說“做個好人有什么意義呢？”我輟了學(xué)，開始跟壞孩子混到一起，純粹是為了找刺激。但即使在我最低迷的時候，我內(nèi)心始終還是個好孩子。我一直有做一份工作，我寫詩，寫夢想日記。我朋友就總是取笑我。他們會說：“這不是你，伙計，你為啥在這兒？”嘻哈音樂拯救了我，它給了我美妙的聲音。我把所有的夢想日記變成了歌詞。我加入了叫“縱火犯”的樂隊，我們在歐洲各地巡回演出，出版了很多唱片。我的藝名是“Jise”，為了紀(jì)念我哥，就像我們倆都在一樣。

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