Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays， which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years， she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand， and Boom！ She had the tickets in her hand.

Next， it was the husbands turn. He paused for a moment， then said shyly， “Well， Id like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.”

The fairy picked up her wand， and Boom！ He was ninety.

慎重許愿

一對(duì)結(jié)婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們60歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。

慶?；顒?dòng)中，一位仙女出現(xiàn)了。她說，由于他們是已經(jīng)結(jié)婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對(duì)夫妻每個(gè)人一個(gè)愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯！”的一聲，她的手中出現(xiàn)了一張票。

接下來該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人?！?/p>

仙女拾起了魔術(shù)棒?！皡纾　?，他變成了90歲。

He Was Only Wrong by Two

Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college， and he was always trying to find good players， but they werent always smart enought to be accepted by the college.

One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. “Well，” the dean said after some persuasion， “Id better ask him a few questions first.”

Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions， but the student didnt know any of the answers.

At last the dean said， “Well， whats five times seven？”

The student thought for a long time and then answered， “Thirty-six.”

The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair， but the coach said earnestly， “Oh， please let him in， sir！ He was only wrong by two.”

他的得數(shù)只比正確答案多二

杰克·霍金斯是美國一所學(xué)院的橄欖球隊(duì)教練，他竭力想物色好球員。但是好球員學(xué)業(yè)不行，院方不愿錄取。

有一天，教練帶著一位優(yōu)秀的年輕球員去見院長，希望院方同意他免試入學(xué)。經(jīng)過一番勸說后院長說：“那我最好先問問他幾個(gè)問題?！?/p>

然后他轉(zhuǎn)向?qū)W生，問了幾個(gè)非常簡單的問題?？墒悄莻€(gè)學(xué)生一個(gè)也答不上來。

最后院長說：“那么，五乘七得多少？”

學(xué)生想了很久，然后回答說：“三十六?！?/p>

院長攤開雙手失望地看了看教練?？墒墙叹氄J(rèn)真地說，“噢，錄取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正確答案多二?！?/p>

Warning

Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan， my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to “warn” him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm， however， I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. “Forgot we were coming， didnt you？” I teased.

“Are you kidding？” he replied， “Why else would I have bothered to clean？”

提醒

我們的兒子是密歇根州阿爾馬大學(xué)的新生，開學(xué)幾個(gè)星期之后，我和丈夫決定去看看他。我特意提前給他打電話，“提醒”他我們將光臨。但是當(dāng)我們來到宿舍時(shí)，他的房間凌亂不堪，我非常吃驚?！巴宋覀円獊?，是吧？”我取笑他。

“開什么玩笑？”他回答說，“要不我憑什么費(fèi)神打掃？”

Midway Tactics

Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying， “Gigantic Sale！” and “Super Bargains！”

The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming， “Prices Slashed！” and “Fantastic Discounts！”

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated， “ENTRANCE”.

中間戰(zhàn)術(shù)

三個(gè)互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。

右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價(jià)！”“特便宜！”

左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價(jià)！”“大折扣！”

中間的商人隨后準(zhǔn)備了一個(gè)大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。

Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun， and John wanted to join the army， but he was only 16 years old， and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him， he said that he was 18.

But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before， and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boys family name， so when he saw Johns papers， he was surprised.

“How old are you？” he said.

“Eighteen， sir，” said John.

“But your brother was eighteen， too，” said the doctor. “Are you twins？”

“Oh， no， sir，” said John， and his face went red. “My brother is five months older than I am.”

大五個(gè)月

第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開始了，約翰想?yún)④?，可他只?6歲，當(dāng)時(shí)規(guī)定男孩到18歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進(jìn)行體檢時(shí)，他說他已經(jīng)18歲了。

可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆]幾天，而且也是這個(gè)軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當(dāng)他看到約翰的表格時(shí)，感到非常驚奇。

“你多大了？”軍醫(yī)問。

“18，長官?！奔s翰說。

“可你的哥哥也是18歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎？”

約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個(gè)月?！?/p>