【Abstract】：This paper is on the guidance of the the principle of adapting to others to analyze the movie--Flipped， trying to find out the barriers in this movie to bridging differences of culture and gender and the way to adapt to others who are different from you.

【Key words】：barriers，adapting to others，culture and gender

1 Introduction of the movie

Flipped is a film that tells a story of beautiful first love of a boy and a girl who are growing up together form very young age. It uses two lines to present different thoughts .One line starts from the perspective of the girl who always think that Bryce， the hero， is into her but he is too shy to accept it. The other line starts from the perspective of the boy who hates juli， the heroin， very much and figure out everything to escape from her. But gradually， Bryce finds that Juli is a very attractive girl and have something special to her. Unfortunately， after knowing Bryce’s real thought， Juli starts to confuse whether she herself real like him and avoid him on purpose. Finally， the boy plant a tree which stand for the friendship in front of the girl’s house.they delete the misunderstanding and prejudice and hold the hand of friendship again.

2 Culture and gender difference

Culture is very hard to give it a very clear definition or make a very obvious distinguish.it is a kind of complicated concept. It include the value，beliefs， behaviors and so on. At the micro-level，culture entails the values，attitudes and activities of a given group and provides the framework of "social behavior among its members in the family，neighborhood and community. At the macro-level.culture includes the external institutions that shape societies infra-structure，such as governmental systems，educational programs，religious practices，as well as the monumental role of media as cornerstone channel of macro-communication（Linda "Stillman：2006） Gender is belong to the culture.Gender differences in conversational style can be conceptualized as "cultural differences， and that communication problems that occur between women and "men "can "be "seen as "intercultural miscommunication.This " proposition has been " generally responded "to "in two ways. One way is to approach it as a hypothesis and "empirically examine whether there really "are\"culture-based\" conversational style differences that could "be traced to socialization practices.（Aki Uchida：1997）more recently， through "John Gray's（1992） Men Are From Mars， Women " Are " From "Venus， " in " which " the " nature " of " gender " difference " is " even more "exaggerated " by " suggesting " that " women " and "men " are from " different " planets.

3 Barriers to bridging differences

3.1 prejudice

Prejudice is a judgment we make based on the assumption that we ready know all of the information we need to know about a person. To prejudge someone as inept，inferior，or incompetent based upon that person’s ethnicity，race ，sexual orientation，gender，or some other factor is a corrosive force that can raise significant barriers to effective communication. （StevenA.Beebe：2001）

1）PATSY： Well， the main thing is the eggs are okay. It's all settled.

BRYCE： Not for me. There was no way I was ever gonna eat anything that had anything to do with Juli Baker.

BRYCE： I'm not eating them.

PATSY： Well， why not？

BRYCE： Have you seen their yard？ It's... There's not even any grass. It's all mud and chicken turds.

LYNETTA： Ew. Gross. Salmonella.

Juli think the losky’s always do some favor to her mother， so she want to thank them through the way of giving them some eggs for free. She is very kind. In her eyes ，she can not see anything bad of Bryce. One reason is that she did not bear prejudice to their families， another reason is she like Bryce very much. But Bryce have other thoughts. He thinks that Juli lives in the house which is messy is rooted in the loskys’ heart. So they has the prejudice that even the eggs from Juli is dirty. They do not care about the yard before house， never talk about the place where the hens are raised. That’s what the losky’s opinion. They even say that Juli’s eggs have Salmonella. We can know how distrust and dislike they are on Juli. This is a kind of prejudice.

3.2 Different communication codes

The interpretation of nonverbal cues，leading to misunderstanding. （StevenA.Beebe：2001）

2）BRYCE： I mean， nothing would stop her. I was about to tell her to get lost when the weirdest thing happened. I couldn't believe it. There I was holding hands with this strange girl. How did I get into this mess？

JULI： His family had just moved into the neighborhood... and I'd gone over to help them. I'd been in the van all of two minutes when his dad sent him off to help his mom. I could see he didn't wanna go. So I chased after him to see if we could play a little before he got trapped inside. The next thing I know， he's holding my hand... and looking right into my eyes. My heart stopped. Was this it？ Would this be my first kiss？ - But then his mother came out.

In this scene， Bryce wants to run away from Juli. During the process of get rid of that girl， he stretches out his hand to push away her hand .But his hand just hold Julis’ hand which makes Juli think that he likes her.Acctually ， Juli does not understand the real meaning of that boy so that appears two kinds totally different views on the same thing. This situation is the boy give a wrong information and the girl receive a wrong communication code.

4. "Adapting to others

seek information is a very import way to adapt to others.Philosopher André Gide said，”Understanding is the beginning of approving.”

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Prejudice often is the result of ignorance.Learning about another person’s values，beliefs，and culture can help you understand his or her messages and their meaning.（StevenA.Beebe：2001）

3）CHET： You know why the Bakers haven't fixed their yard？

STEVEN： Yeah， because he's too busy with his paint-by-numbers kit.CHET： They don't own that house. The landlord's supposed to maintain it. Mr. Baker puts every extra penny he has into caring for his brother.

GARRETT： Exactly. Of course， the place is a dump anyways.

BRYCE： It’s not her fault. Her dad's got a retarded brother and all their money goes to helping him.

Chet is alway appreciate Juli. He likes Juli because he think she likes his wife and she is special with many good qualities. He looks Juli firmly without prejudice. He actively to make friends with Juli and know many things about her family. That makes sense "why they do not clear their yard and why they live a relatively simple life.

Gradually，Bryce start to pen his heart and accept the reason why they do not clear their yard and show his sympathy for Juli. He will not relative anything bad to Juli an more. He start not to run away from Juli and try his best to live a normal life with her.Something has changed.When a person try to seek more information about others ， they can understand more about why others speak just in this way and why others do something like this. It is a good way to make normal communication with others.

5 "Conclusion

Difference in culture and gender is exist ubiquitous.Saying from the narrow definition of culture，people are all from different culture. During their communication ，they will find many difference.Prejudice and different communication codes are the barriers to bridging the differences.Prejudice gives confuse people’s judgment "and make people’s mind lose balance，which result to block the healthy communication with others.Different communication codes also will lead to many misunderstanding.But， it is not horrible. As long as we find right ways to exchange with others，some uncomfortable feeling will gone very soon.We also need to learn some useful way to adapt to others will give a lot of help to make people in different culture establish friendship.Seeking information is a good way to adapt to others.Only you make some efforts to know more about others ，you can know the internal reason why he or she speak "and make actions in a special way.

Reference

Beebe，StevenA.（2001）.Adapting to Others：Communication：principles for a lifetime.【M】Massachusetts.Allynamp;Bacon.

Gray， J. （1992）. Men are from "Mars，women are from Venus： A practicalguide for " "improving " communication " and " getting "what you want in your " relationships. New York; HarperCollins.

Stillman，Linda "（2006）Culture， Communication and Gender： Moving the MDGs Forward.Global Watch.【J】

Uchida，Aki .（1997）Bringing the \"Culture\" Back In ： A Culture Building Approach to Gender and "Communication .Women and Language【J】20（2）：15-24.