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        職場惡作劇

        2015-04-29 00:00:00
        瘋狂英語·口語版 2015年4期

        Millie: Oh no! Is it April 1st again, already?

        Jeremy: What’s wrong? Not a fan of April Fools’ Day?

        Millie: Sorry. I don’t mean to spoil your fun, being a 1)Debbie downer, but I don’t think it’s funny to fool people. I don’t think it’s right to get someone’s hopes up and then 2)dash their dreams. And it’s even worse to break someone’s heart and then expect forgiveness just cuz you say “April Fools!”

        Jeremy: Wow. I didn’t realize you had such a big problem with it.

        Millie: Yeah. The Day and I have a troubled past.

        Jeremy: Well, ①maybe I can make you feel less mad about it by telling you all the ways I’ve been fooled over the years.

        Millie: You? Really? ②You seem so up-to-date and in-theknow when it comes to trends and stuff.

        Jeremy: Exactly! My openness to the impossible made me the perfect April Fools’ target for my old colleagues, those professional 3)tricksters at Google.

        Millie: Oh, I had no idea you worked there, and certainly had no idea they were in the 4)trickery business.

        Jeremy: Oh, don’t be fooled, no pun intended, by their 5)nerdy exteriors, because digital tricksters are the worst. One year, they forwarded me a video link, but when I clicked on it, the video started playing upside-down.

        Millie: That’s not such a big deal. That happens sometimes when you go to a bad link.

        Jeremy: Yeah, but the website said that this was a new and improved format.

        Millie: And you believed it?

        Jeremy: Of course I did. You would’ve too. They posted it on a front page that: “Our internal tests have shown that modern computer monitors give a higher quality picture when 6)flipped upside down.”

        Millie: Then how were you supposed to watch it?

        Jeremy: It said to see the new format, viewers should either: “1) Turn your monitor upsidedown; 2) 7)Tilt your head to the side; or 3) Move to Australia.”

        Millie: Oh, those 8)sneaky coders. ③They’re too smart for their own good, if you ask me.

        Jeremy: And that was just one of many such 9)hoaxes that I’ve fallen for on April Fools’ Days past.

        Millie: What else?

        Jeremy: What else? Um…You know, the usual; flying penguin videos, 1 news reports, texts from family about a pregnancy or some other major life change. I swear they get me every time. You think I’d learn by now, right?

        Millie: Well, maybe it’s better we stay a bit na?ve. Keeps us young at heart and less 10)cynical, you know?

        Jeremy: I wholeheartedly agree. Like a pair of happy fools.

        米莉:噢不!又到4月1日了嗎?

        杰里米:怎么啦?不喜歡愚人節(jié)嗎?

        米莉:抱歉。作為潑冷水的人,我不是有意掃你的興,但我不認為愚弄別人是件趣事。我認為讓別人滿懷希望,然后又讓他們的夢想破滅是不對的。傷了別人的心,只是因為說一句“愚人節(jié)快樂!”然后期望得到原諒就更加可惡了。

        杰里米:哇,我沒想到你對這件事那么反感。

        米莉:是的。我和愚人節(jié)有著不堪回首的過去。

        杰里米:嗯,或許我可以告訴你多年來我被各種方式愚弄的事情,使你感到不那么抓狂。

        米莉:你?真的?說起流行趨勢這種東西,你似乎很跟得上潮流,消息很靈通似的。

        杰里米:沒錯!我對不可能的事物的開放態(tài)度使我成為了我那班老同事的最佳愚人節(jié)目標,他們都是谷歌的職業(yè)騙術師。

        米莉:哦,我不知道你曾經在那里任職,當然也不知道他們還有欺騙業(yè)務。

        杰里米:哦,別被他們書呆子式的外表欺騙了,沒有雙關語義,因為那些數(shù)碼騙子最可惡。有一年,他們發(fā)給我一個視頻鏈接,但是當我點開它時,那個視頻開始上下顛倒著播放。

        米莉:那沒什么大不了的,有時你點開一個壞鏈接也會這樣。

        杰里米:沒錯,但網站說這是一種改良過的新格式。米莉:你相信了嗎?

        杰里米:我當然信了。如果是你也會相信的。他們在首頁上是這樣寫的:“我們的內部測試結果表明,現(xiàn)代計算機顯示器上下翻轉的時候,會顯示更高像素的圖片?!?/p>

        米莉:那你應該怎么看呢?

        杰里米:它說要看這些新格式,瀏覽者應該要么:“1.把顯示器翻轉;2.把頭傾斜到一邊;要么3.移居到澳大利亞。”

        米莉:哦,那些卑鄙的程序員。如果你問我的意見的話,我覺得他們太精明會有麻煩的。

        杰里米:這只是我在過去的愚人節(jié)中上當受騙的眾多惡作劇中的一個。

        米莉:還有什么?

        杰里米:還有什么?嗯……你懂的,很平常的如:正在飛翔的企鵝視頻,虛假的新聞報道,來自家里的家人懷孕或一些重大的生活變故的信息。我發(fā)誓我每次都中招,你覺得我是不是現(xiàn)在就應該學習一下?

        米莉:嗯,或許我們保持天真一點比較好。你知道嗎?這樣能讓我們保持一顆年輕的心,少一些憤世嫉俗。

        杰里米:我完全同意,就像一對快樂的傻子。

        Smart Sentences

        ① Maybe I can make you feel less mad about it by telling you all the ways I’ve been fooled over the years. 或許我可以告訴你多年來我被各種方式愚弄的事情,使你感到不那么抓狂。

        all the ways: in different manners(不同的方式)。例如:Tomorrow, I’ll show you all the ways you can get in touch with Mike.

        明天我會教你與邁克聯(lián)系的各種方法。

        ② You seem so up-to-date and in-the-know when it comes to trends and stuff. 說起流行趨勢這種東西,你似乎很跟得上潮流,消息很靈通似的。

        in-the-know: knowledgeable or privy to special information(知情的,消息靈通的)。例如:

        Not too many people are in-the-know about this project.

        關于這個項目,知情的人不多。

        ③ They’re too smart for their own good, if you ask me. 如果你問我的意見的話,我覺得他們太精明會有麻煩的。

        too + adjective + for one’s own good: excessive in certain quality that could get sb. in trouble(因在某方面表現(xiàn)過度而惹來麻煩)。例如:

        I believe the company is growing too fast for its own good.我覺得公司增長太快,會有麻煩的。

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