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        “閃孕”真的能保住飯碗嗎?

        2015-04-29 00:00:00JesseHunter/肝腦涂地
        瘋狂英語(yǔ)·口語(yǔ)版 2015年4期

        Tim: Is it true that a single child can cost millions of dollars over a lifetime of spending on food, clothes, schools and hospital bills?

        Sandy: Yeah. It’s pretty crazy. But do you know what’s even scarier? How about the fear of being unemployed? And that goes for anyone; parents, married couples, single college grads. Things are looking bleak with the financial crisis and all. Tim: Well, when you got pregnant, weren’t you afraid that you’d lose your job because the company has been struggling so much recently?

        Sandy: Actually, quite the opposite. I was afraid, really afraid that our whole department was on the outs. So a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!

        Tim: What do you mean?

        Sandy: ①I mean I got pregnant on purpose, knowing the company was in the red.

        Tim: Why on earth would you do that? What about that baby’s future? Sandy: What about my future? It’s a 3)calculated risk.

        Tim: But how are the two different?

        Sandy: ②Because the company can’t fire me unless it actually goes under.

        Tim: Of course they can fire you. They can fire any of us.

        Sandy: Not if I’m pregnant, they can’t.

        Tim: Really?! So now that you’re pregnant, the company can’t fire you, even if they wanted to?

        Sandy: Not unless they can prove 4)insolvency.

        Tim: That certainly is an interesting 5)loophole in China’s labor law.

        Sandy: I wouldn’t exactly call it a loophole. I’d call it leveling the scales, since women are pretty much second-class around the workplace, in terms of hours and salaries.

        Tim: But does this financial strategy of getting knocked up actually work?

        Sandy: Worked for me and millions of others. After all, we know how much it’s gonna cost to raise a baby, so a little job 6)assurance goes a long way.

        Tim: Man, I wish I could get pregnant.

        Sandy: Trust me, you don’t.

        Tim: Why not?

        Sandy: Well, the obvious pain and discomfort aside, the company still has the right to fire me as soon as I pop this little guy out.

        Tim: That sucks. But, oh, wait, it’s a boy? Congratulations!

        Sandy: Thanks. We were trying to keep it a secret, but I guess I let it slip.

        Tim: Don’t worry. ③My lips are sealed. And thanks for 7)confiding in me about your—I guess I should call it a business plan. What did your 8)hubby think when you told him about your pregnancy strategy?

        Sandy: He probably would’ve been against it, which is why I took a page out of the soap-opera handbook and stopped taking my birth control pills without telling him.

        Tim: Oh! Wow. Well, I guess that’s just another secret I’ll have to keep.

        Sandy: You better. Or, mark my words, I will take you down.

        Tim: Good God, pregnant women are terrifying!

        Sandy: You have no idea…

        蒂姆:人的一輩子養(yǎng)一個(gè)孩子在衣、食、上學(xué)和醫(yī)療費(fèi)用上要花費(fèi)數(shù)百萬(wàn)美元,這是真的嗎?

        桑迪:嗯。這是很可怕的事。但是你知道什么更恐怖嗎?那害怕被解雇這件事呢?任何人都會(huì)有這樣的擔(dān)憂——為人父母的、(還未要小孩的)夫婦、單身的大學(xué)畢業(yè)生。在經(jīng)濟(jì)危機(jī)下大家的境遇都很凄涼。

        蒂姆:好吧,當(dāng)你懷孕了,你不怕會(huì)丟了你的飯碗嗎?因?yàn)楣咀罱懿痪皻狻?/p>

        桑迪:事實(shí)上,正好相反。我很害怕,真的害怕我們整個(gè)部門都被裁員。所以一個(gè)女人要做一個(gè)女人應(yīng)該做的事!

        蒂姆:你什么意思?

        桑迪:我的意思是,我知道公司在虧損,所以我是故意懷孕的。

        蒂姆:你究竟為什么這樣做?那個(gè)孩子的未來(lái)怎么辦?

        桑迪:那么我的未來(lái)呢?這是一個(gè)可預(yù)料的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。

        蒂姆:但是(懷孕與不懷孕)有什么區(qū)別呢?

        桑迪:因?yàn)檫@樣公司就不能解雇我,除非它真的破產(chǎn)了。

        蒂姆:他們當(dāng)然能解雇你。他們可以解雇我們?nèi)魏我粋€(gè)人。

        桑迪:如果我懷孕了,他們就不能這樣做。

        蒂姆:真的嗎?!那么既然你現(xiàn)在懷孕了,公司即使想解雇你也不行?

        桑迪:不行,除非他們能夠證明公司破產(chǎn)了。

        蒂姆:這肯定是中國(guó)勞動(dòng)法的一個(gè)有趣的漏洞。

        桑迪:我不會(huì)管它叫漏洞。我會(huì)把它叫作等級(jí)的提升。因?yàn)樵诼殘?chǎng)中,女性在工作時(shí)間和薪酬方面的待遇都是在次位的。

        蒂姆:但是懷孕這樣的經(jīng)濟(jì)策略真的有用嗎?

        桑迪:對(duì)我和其他數(shù)百萬(wàn)人都有用。畢竟,我們知道養(yǎng)一個(gè)孩子得用多少錢,所以保住工作才是長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)之計(jì)。

        蒂姆:天啊,我希望我也能懷孕。

        桑迪:相信我,你不會(huì)希望的。

        蒂姆:為什么?

        桑迪:好吧,先不管生孩子必然的疼痛和不適,當(dāng)我這個(gè)小子生出來(lái)以后,公司還是有權(quán)解雇我。

        蒂姆:這很糟糕。但是,噢,等等,是個(gè)男孩嗎?恭喜你!

        桑迪:謝謝。我們一直想保密,不過(guò)我想我泄密了。

        蒂姆:別擔(dān)心。我會(huì)守口如瓶的。謝謝你向我吐露了你的——我想應(yīng)該叫作你的事業(yè)計(jì)劃。當(dāng)你告訴你老公你的懷孕策略時(shí),他是怎么想的?

        桑迪:他很有可能會(huì)反對(duì),這就是為什么我要使出家庭主婦的招數(shù),在他不知情的情況下不吃避孕藥。

        蒂姆:噢!哇。好吧,我想這是我要保守的另一個(gè)秘密。

        桑迪:你最好這樣,不然,記著我說(shuō)的話,我會(huì)干掉你的。

        蒂姆:天啊,懷孕的女人真可怕!

        桑迪:你無(wú)法想象……

        Smart Sentences

        ① I mean I got pregnant on purpose, knowing the company was in the red. 我的意思是,我知道公司在虧損,所以我是故意懷孕的。

        in the red: losing money, in debt(虧損,負(fù)債)。例如:The city government went in the red three years ago.

        市政府三年前背上了債務(wù)。

        ② Because the company can’t fire me unless it actually goes under. 因?yàn)檫@樣公司就不能解雇我,除非它真的破產(chǎn)了。

        go under: when a business is unable to continue in operation or in existence(破產(chǎn),倒閉)。例如:

        The restaurant went under because of the avian flu.

        這家餐廳因禽流感倒閉了。

        ③ My lips are sealed. 我會(huì)守口如瓶的。

        lips are sealed: will not talk about sth.(保守秘密)。例如:I wouldn’t worry about Justin. His lips are sealed.

        我不擔(dān)心賈斯汀,他會(huì)守口如瓶的。

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