羅伯特·弗希爾(Robert Fisher),美國著名喜劇作家,曾獨自或與他人合作創(chuàng)作了400多個廣播節(jié)目和近千個電視節(jié)目,與好友兼搭檔亞瑟·馬克斯編寫了無數(shù)百老匯舞臺劇以及許多好萊塢著名影片的劇本?!犊昨T士》(The Knight in Rusty Armor)是弗希爾探索生命本質(zhì)的代表作,講述了一位騎士的故事。這位騎士身披閃耀的盔甲,隨時準備去鏟除惡龍,拯救遇難少女,天長日久迷失了自我,連盔甲都無法脫下,甚至都危及到了生命。他踏上征程去尋找卸掉盔甲的方法,最終經(jīng)歷重重考驗,找回了自我,擺脫了盔甲。該書看似是情節(jié)簡單的童話故事,卻有著神奇的力量:它是一面鏡子,讓每個人都可從中看到自己的影像;它又是一把鑰匙,能夠打開桎梏身體和心靈的重重枷鎖,讓每個人都能接近最真實的自己。自1990年問世以來,該書已被翻譯成數(shù)十種語言,成為全球最暢銷的書之一,被譽為當代最震撼心靈的寓言故事和“能改變你一生的一本書”。
下文選自小說第七章,講述盔甲騎士歷經(jīng)重重磨難后踏上真理之巔,在山頂放下執(zhí)念,回歸真我的過程。
\"You've figured it out, Knight,\" said Sam1). \"You have to let go.\"
The knight's eyes grew wide with alarm. \"What are you trying to do? Kill both of us?\" he yelled at Sam.
\"Actually, we're dying right now,\" Sam answered calmly. \"Take a look at yourself. You're so thin you could slip under a door, and you're full of stress and fear.\"
\"I'm not nearly as afraid as I used to be.\"
\"If that's the case, then let go—and trust.\"
\"Trust whom?\" the knight retorted2) hotly. He wanted no more of Sam's philosophy.
\"It's not a whom,\" Sam replied. \"It's an it!\"
\"It?\"
\"Yes, It—life, the force, the universe, God—whatever you want to call it.\"
The knight peered over his shoulder and looked down at the apparently bottomless chasm3) below.
\"Let go,\" Sam whispered urgently.
The knight seemed to have no choice. He was losing strength with every passing second, and the cuts on his fingers were getting deeper the longer he hung onto the rock. Believing that he was going to die, he let go. Down, down he plunged, into the infinite depth of his memories.
He recalled all the things in his life for which he had blamed his mother, his father, his teachers, his wife, his son, his friends, and everyone else. As he fell deeper into the void, he let go of all the judgments that he had made against them.
Faster and faster he plummeted4), giddy5) as his mind descended into his heart. Then, for the first time, he saw his life clearly, without judgment or excuses. In that instant, he accepted full responsibility for his life, for the influence that people had had on it, and for the events that had shaped it.
From this moment on, he would no longer blame his mistakes and misfortunes on anyone or anything outside himself. The recognition that he was the cause, not the effect, gave him a new feeling of power. He was now unafraid.
As an unfamiliar sense of calm overtook him, a strange thing happened. He began to fall upward! Impossible as it seemed, he was falling up, up, out of the abyss6)! At the same time, he still felt connected to the deepest part of it. In fact, he felt connected to the very center of the earth. He continued falling higher and higher, knowing that he was joined with both heaven and earth.
Suddenly he found himself standing on top of the mountain. Smiling, the knight understood the full meaning of the inscription on the boulder7). He had let go of all that he had feared and all that he had known and possessed. His willingness to embrace the unknown had set him free. Now the universe was his to experience and enjoy.
“你已經(jīng)領(lǐng)悟了,騎士,”山姆說,“你必須放手?!?/p>
騎士警覺地睜大了雙眼?!澳阆敫墒裁??把咱倆都害死嗎?”他朝山姆大聲吼道。
“事實上,我們馬上就要死了,”山姆平靜地回答道,“看看你自己吧。你瘦得都能鉆門縫了,而且你內(nèi)心充滿壓力和恐懼?!?/p>
“我遠遠不像以前那么害怕了?!?/p>
“如果是這樣,那就放手——并且要相信?!?/p>
“相信誰?”騎士激烈地反駁道。他不想再聽山姆那套人生哲學(xué)了。
“不是‘誰’,”山姆回答說,“而是‘某種東西’!”
“東西?”
“是的,‘東西’——生命、力量、宇宙、上帝——你想怎么稱呼它都行?!?/p>
騎士從肩頭向下看去,望著那看似深不見底的深淵。
“放手吧?!鄙侥芳鼻械氐驼Z道。
騎士似乎別無選擇。他的氣力每秒鐘都在消失,他攀在巖石上的時間越久,手指上的傷口就越深。他相信自己即將死去,就放手了。他一直向下墜落,墜入深不見底的記憶之中。
他回想起自己一生中所有怪罪給母親、父親、老師、妻子、兒子、朋友和其他人的事情。隨著他在虛空中越墜越深,他將以往對他們的指責全部放下了。
他下墜得越來越快,一陣眩暈之中,他的思緒沉入了自己的內(nèi)心。然后,他有生以來第一次清晰地看到了自己的一生,不帶一絲指責,也沒有任何借口。在那一瞬間,他對他這一生,對別人給他這一生帶來的影響,對所有塑造了他這一人生的事件都承擔起了全部的責任。
從這一刻起,他再也不會把自己的錯誤和不幸歸咎于自己之外的任何人或事。認識到自己是這一切的成因而非結(jié)果,讓他感受到一股從未有過的力量。他現(xiàn)在無所畏懼了。
就在一種陌生的平靜感襲上他的心頭時,一件奇怪的事情發(fā)生了。他開始向上墜落!盡管這看似不可能,但他確實越墜越高,墜出了深淵!與此同時,他仍然感到與深淵的最深處連接在一起。實際上,他感到自己與大地的中心連接在了一起。他繼續(xù)向更高處墜落,知道自己已與天地相連通。
突然間,他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己正站在山頂。騎士微笑著,完全領(lǐng)悟了巨石上鐫刻的文字(編注:即“... for I cannot know the unknown, if to the known I cling.”)的涵義。他已經(jīng)把曾經(jīng)恐懼的、了解的和擁有的所有東西都放下了。樂于接受未知讓他獲得了自由?,F(xiàn)在,整個宇宙都任由他去體驗,去欣賞。
The knight stood on the mountaintop, breathing deeply. An overwhelming sense of well-being swept through him. He grew dizzy from the enchantment of seeing, hearing, and feeling the universe all around him. Before, fear of the unknown had dulled his senses, but now he was able to experience everything with breathtaking clarity8). The warmth of the afternoon sun, the melody of the gentle mountain breeze, and the beauty of nature's shapes and colors that painted the landscape as far as his eyes could see filled him with indescribable pleasure. His heart overflowed with love—for himself, for Juliet and Christopher9), for Merlin10), for Squirrel11) and Rebecca12), for life itself, and for the entire wondrous world.
Squirrel and Rebecca watched the knight drop to his knees, tears of gratitude flowing from his eyes. I nearly died from the tear I left unshed, he thought. The tears poured down his cheeks, through his beard and onto his breastplate13). Because they came from his heart, the tears were extraordinarily hot and quickly melted away the last of his armor.
The knight cried out with joy. No longer would he don14) his armor and ride off15) in all directions. No longer would people see the shining reflection of steel and think that the sun was rising in the west or setting in the east.
He smiled through his tears, unaware that a radiant new light now shone from him—a light far brighter and more beautiful than his armor at its polished best—sparkling like a brook16), glowing like the moon, dazzling like the sun.
For indeed, the knight was the brook. He was the moon. He was the sun. He could be all these things and more, because he was one with the universe.
He was love.
騎士站在山頂,深呼吸,心中涌出巨大的幸福感??粗⒙犞?、感受著周圍的世界,他感到心醉神迷。過去,對未知的恐懼使他變得麻木,而現(xiàn)在,他可以清晰地感受一切,那種清晰美得驚人。午后陽光的煦暖、山風輕柔的旋律和目光所及之處自然風景的形色之美,都讓他的心中充滿了難以形容的愉悅。他的心中滿溢著愛——對自己的愛,對朱麗葉和克里斯托弗的愛,對梅林的愛,對松鼠和鴿子的愛,對生命本身的愛,對整個妙不可言的世界的愛。
松鼠和鴿子看著騎士雙膝跪倒,感激的淚水從他眼里流了出來。“我差點因為自己沒流出來的淚水而死去。”騎士心里想。他的淚水奔涌而出,流過臉頰,流過胡須,滴到了他的胸甲上。這些淚由于是從心里流出來的,所以很燙很燙,很快就把騎士身上殘余的盔甲融化殆盡。
騎士欣喜地大聲叫喊。他再也不會穿上盔甲奔走四方了。人們再也不會看到他那鋼鐵盔甲上明亮的反光,以為太陽正在從西方升起或東方落下了。
他破涕為笑,沒有察覺自己身上正在閃耀著一種全新的明亮光芒——這種光芒比他的盔甲擦得最亮時還要明亮美麗得多——像小溪一樣閃亮,像月亮一樣明亮,像太陽一樣耀眼。
確實,他就是小溪,他就是月亮,他就是太陽。他還可以是世間萬物,因為他已與天地萬物融為一體。
他就是愛。
8.clarity [?kl?r?ti] n. 清晰
9.Juliet and Christopher: 朱麗葉和克里斯托弗,分別是騎士的妻子和兒子。
10.Merlin: 梅林,是幫助騎士踏上尋找自我征程的法師。
11.Squirrel: 松鼠,是跟隨梅林法師的小動物之一,陪伴騎士完成尋找自我的征程。
12.Rebecca: 鴿子,是跟隨梅林法師的小動物之一,陪伴騎士完成尋找自我的征程。
13.breastplate [?brestple?t] n. 胸鎧;護胸甲
14.don [d?n] vt. 穿上,披上
15.ride off: 騎馬(或騎車、駕車)而去
16.brook [br?k] n. 小溪
《盔甲騎士》講述的是一則有關(guān)迷失與尋找的寓言。故事的主人公是一位身披盔甲的英勇騎士,他馳騁疆場,立下赫赫戰(zhàn)功。盔甲已經(jīng)成為這位騎士鮮明的標志,即使在家里,他也總是喜歡穿著盔甲,戴著頭盔,沉浸在無盡的自我陶醉中。到后來,騎士甚至連睡覺都穿著盔甲,不到吃飯絕不掀開頭盔面罩。直到有一天,妻子威脅說騎士若不以真面目相對,便要帶著兒子離開。騎士此時才恍然悔悟,痛下決心回歸自我,卻發(fā)現(xiàn)頭盔和盔甲已然生銹,無法脫下,于是踏上了征途,去遠方尋找能夠幫助自己脫下盔甲的人。
世界上最容易迷失的是自我,最難找尋的也是自我。在小丑的指點下,騎士決定去茫茫無邊的森林中求教亞瑟王的老師、神秘的法師梅林。歷盡曲折見到梅林后,騎士禁不住抱怨:“我迷路了好幾個月?!倍妨值幕卮饏s一針見血:“其實是一輩子?!碑斆妨帜贸鲆槐伾殴值纳o騎士喝時,騎士懷疑地看著杯子,梅林一語道出了騎士心中的秘密:“你害怕,這就是你穿上盔甲的原因?!钡拇_,長久以來,騎士一直生活在恐懼中,拼命追尋他人的需要和肯定,生活在盔甲覆蓋的壁壘下,反而迷失了自我。在梅林的指引下,在松鼠和鴿子的陪伴下,騎士踏上了真理之路。他需要通過三座城堡,才能拯救迷途中的自己。
騎士首先來到了“寂靜之堡(The Castle of Silence)”。在這寂靜中,騎士終于可以真切地聆聽來自靈魂深處的聲音,意識到自己把太多時間用來回憶過去、幻想未來,卻從不曾享受當下的生活。因為害怕孤獨,所以內(nèi)心喧囂,忘記傾聽。颯颯的風聲、淅瀝的雨聲、叮咚的流水聲、妻子的柔情蜜語,這些聲音其實一直都在那里,只是他從未真正聆聽罷了。在寂靜之堡,他多年來第一次聽到了自己內(nèi)心的聲音——那個叫做“山姆”的人便是最原初、最本真的自己。
之后,騎士來到了第二座城堡——“知識之堡(The Castle of Knowledge)”。在這里,騎士遇到了一個尖銳的問題:你是否把需要當成了愛?當騎士捫心自問的時候,他才發(fā)現(xiàn)這么多年來自己對妻子、兒子以及其他人的需要甚于他對他們的愛。他渴求別人的愛,因為他并沒有愛過自己。而如果他失去了愛的能力,連自己都不愛,又怎么能夠愛別人呢?長久以來,騎士需要外界的肯定來證明自己的善良和愛心,卻不知,他根本不需要證明任何事——他的本質(zhì)和他的潛能就像他在城堡中的鏡子里看到的自己那樣,不乏仁慈、熱情、智慧、無私。這些美好的品質(zhì)其實一直都隱藏在他的身體里,他所要做的只是將它們喚醒。而將它們喚醒既不需要欲望,也不需要苛求,只需像城堡中的那棵蘋果樹一樣。那棵樹對自己沒有過多的期待,也不懂貪婪為何物,只是自足于自己的存在,恣意享受作為一棵樹的樂趣。這種由心而生的理想簡單純潔、與世無爭,不僅能夠幫助他人,也能在無形之中惠及自己。而且,因為坦然接受一切,反倒不會有任何失望和害怕。與之相對的則是思想的野心,它是從頭腦中生發(fā)出來的,它使人永遠不滿足于自己的存在。因為總是想要成為什么,自己反而被欲望扭曲得面目全非,存在的快樂也隨之消失殆盡,生活變成了單純的追名逐利,永遠身不由己。頓悟后的騎士發(fā)誓以后要聽從自己的內(nèi)心。
獲得自知的騎士接著來到了第三座城堡——“志勇之堡(The Castle of Will and Daring)”。在這里,騎士遇到了口噴火焰的可怕巨龍——疑懼之龍。騎士剛開始心存疑惑和恐懼,被巨龍燒得敗下陣來。最終,在松鼠和鴿子的鼓勵下,他意識到巨龍不過是幻象,是占據(jù)自己內(nèi)心的疑慮和恐懼,只要相信自己,惡龍自然會被打敗。意識到這點的騎士再次沖向巨龍,正視疑慮和恐懼,結(jié)果巨龍變得越來越衰弱和渺小,最終敗給了騎士發(fā)自內(nèi)心的意志和勇氣。
在通過三座城堡后,騎士漸漸靠近了真理之巔(The Summit of Truth)。這時他被一塊巨石擋住了去路,巨石上鐫刻的文字頗有深意:“Though this universe I own, I possess not a thing, for I cannot know the unknown, if to the known I cling. (我擁有宇宙,卻也一無所有,因我不可知未知,若我不愿棄已知。)”雖然騎士身上的盔甲經(jīng)過他 一路的反思被發(fā)自內(nèi)心的熱淚融化腐蝕后大都脫落,但仍有些許殘留。正如節(jié)選片段所描述的那樣,他在內(nèi)心的真我山姆的勸說下,最終領(lǐng)悟到了舍棄也是一種智慧。當他松開緊緊攀援在巖石上的雙手向下墜落的一剎那,他放開了所有令他害怕的東西,放棄了他所擁有的一切,放棄了一切已知,勇敢地墜向未知,卻因此得到了廣闊的天地和真正的自由。
其實,書中的騎士身上又何嘗沒有你我的影子?我們在日復(fù)一日的生活中,為保護自己,不停地武裝自己。不再敢流淚,怕被人嘲笑;不再敢發(fā)出自己的聲音,怕被人否定;不再敢去表達真實的情感,怕受傷害……最終把自己層層包裹于沉重的盔甲之中,連自己都不記得自己真正的模樣。身著這樣的盔甲,看似安全,任何東西都傷害不到自己,卻也讓自己再也感受不到花草的芳香、陽光的煦暖、旋律的優(yōu)美,感受不到真情的可貴,更可怕的是讓自己連自己的這種“感受不到”都感受不到。而要想擺脫這副堅固的盔甲,別無他法,唯有像書中的騎士那樣,勇敢踏上真理之旅,為尋回自我出征!