The crime took place only days ago, in broad daylight, in the Holds1) section of my public library ...
It started with an email. The best kind of email in the world, from the library, notifying me that a book I placed on hold2) months ago is waiting for me. It's The Ghost Bride by YangszeChoo3), a book so new it's still on 14-day circulation. I manage to get through the work day and walk—in spite of the chilly autumn wind—to my glassy home away from home, my walking stick ticking off a steady, determined beat. Inside, I stroll4) to the self-serve Holds shelves, which I could probably find blindfolded5), and glide straight to the Js. Imagine my surprise when I see not one, but two books with my name on them—or rather, the library's shorthand6) for my name, which I've come to know pretty well over the years: SUN JANS. Next to the shiny new book (I must be only the 5th person to read the thing) is another title: The Echo Maker by Richard Powers7). Here I pause, confused.
I have no idea what this book is. And no recollection whatever of having put it on hold.
Oh no, I say to myself, MS8) strikes again ... Looking for clues, I open the book up, and read the jacket9) blurb10).
Looks pretty interesting! A bit outside of my usual reading tastes maybe (in that it takes place on Earth in the present time, there are no aliens or dragons, and no mention of magical powers) but I've been known to be drawn to other books ...
I try to remember where I might have seen the book recommended—I get so many book and library feeds11) ... Maybe it was Library Journal? Kirkus Reviews12)? The library's staff picks13)? Or wait a minute ...
Maybe this isn't really my book!
I look at the slip14) again, comparing it to the one in the book I know I asked for. SUN JANS. Could there possibly be a Sunbeam Jansikowski out there? A Sunny Janstone? I feel a frisson15) of imminent16) transgression17). By now I'm pretty interested in this book, and it's clear to me that I will check it out whether it's rightfully mine or not. What's more, I will check it out even though I'm not even sure I can finish two books in one month (and I won't even get to it first because I have to finish The Ghost Bride in 14 days). Even though I could easily leave it on the shelf and put it on hold for myself as soon as I get home. If I can remember the title ...
I feel sick, greedy as well as guilty. I mean, this Sunny Janstone might have been waiting months for this thing (though it doesn't look particularly new). Maybe she got an email that day too, and is on her way right now to pick it up, ready to waltz18) over to the Js ... and find nothing. Maybe she's my double and this was bizarrely meant to happen. Furthermore, you know what they say about meeting your double. I had better hightail it19) out of here! (Oh yeah, in case you thought MS was my only problem, I suffer from serious Walter Mitty Syndrome20).) I resolve myself to go to the self-checkout kiosk21), because the person at the circulation desk (who knows me, even worse) would see immediately that I've stolen someone else's book. I expect at any moment the screen to flash bright red: INTRUDER ALERT: THIS IS NOT YOUR BOOK, RETURN TO THE HOLDS AREA IMMEDIATELY! But nothing happens. The machine helpfully asks if I would like a receipt with due dates.
No no no; no paper trail.
I stuff the two books in my bag, and head toward the exit, briskly22). My jaws clench as I pass through the gate. No alarm. In the doorway, I breathe deeply for a few moments. I'm free.
My friend pulls up in the car at our prearranged meeting spot, and because he would never notice that I emerged from the library with more than one book, I'm compelled to confess my crime. He shakes his head, takes a cursory23) look at the slips stuffed into the books and looks into my eyes. I try to gauge24) by his expression as I justify myself, explaining it as a sort of perfect storm25) of memory lapse26) and compulsive book reading, whether he believes me or not. (Do I believe myself?) As usual, his smile is enigmatic27). He says: \"I hope you're right.\"
So, to Sunny Janstone, or Sunbeam Jansikowski, my tragic, bookless double, victim of circumstance: forgive me. I'm reading as fast as I can!
我的罪行就發(fā)生在幾天前,就在光天化日之下,發(fā)生在我去的那個(gè)公共圖書館的預(yù)約借閱區(qū)……
事情的起因是一封電子郵件。那是世上最令人愉快的一類郵件——發(fā)信人是圖書館,通知我?guī)讉€(gè)月前我預(yù)約借閱的一本書正等著我去取呢。這本書是朱洋熹的《鬼新娘》,因?yàn)槭潜拘聲?,所以每個(gè)人的借閱時(shí)間仍然為14天。我好不容易等到下班,便冒著凜冽的秋風(fēng)走向那個(gè)離家有點(diǎn)兒遠(yuǎn)的玻璃屋,我的手杖在地面上敲擊出平穩(wěn)而堅(jiān)定的節(jié)拍。進(jìn)了圖書館,我漫步走到自助式預(yù)約書架區(qū)——即使蒙著眼睛我大概也能找到這里——然后直奔標(biāo)著字母J的書架。多年來,我對(duì)圖書館給我的姓名簡(jiǎn)寫“森·詹斯”早已十分熟稔,所以想想看,當(dāng)我看到附有我姓名——更確切地說,是我的姓名簡(jiǎn)寫——的書不是一本,而是兩本時(shí),我該有多驚訝。在朱洋熹那本嶄新發(fā)亮的新書(我一定才是第五個(gè)讀這本書的人)旁邊還有另一本書:理查德·鮑爾斯的《回聲制造者》。我搞不清是怎么回事,愣在了那里。
我不知道這本書是講什么的,也完全不記得曾經(jīng)預(yù)約過這本書。
不好,我暗想,準(zhǔn)是多發(fā)性硬化癥又犯了……為了理出一些頭緒,我翻開那本書,看了看護(hù)封上的內(nèi)容簡(jiǎn)介。
看上去挺有意思的!可能有點(diǎn)不太符合我平時(shí)閱讀的口味(因?yàn)闀械墓适掳l(fā)生在現(xiàn)今的地球上,里面既沒有外星人也沒有惡龍,而且也沒有提到魔力),不過大家都知道,我也會(huì)被其他類型的書吸引呀……
我試著回憶我可能從哪兒看到過有人推薦這本書——我收到那么多圖書推薦和圖書館的推送消息……沒準(zhǔn)是從《圖書館雜志》上?從《科克斯評(píng)論》上?還是這家圖書館員工的特別推薦?還是,等一下……
或許這根本就不是給我的書!
我又看了一眼書上附著的那張紙條,比較著它和我確定預(yù)約過的那本書上的紙條有什么不同。森·詹斯。難道可能還有一個(gè)名叫森比姆·詹斯科夫斯基的人?或者是叫森尼·詹斯通?我為自己即將犯下的罪行感到一陣戰(zhàn)栗。到這會(huì)兒,我對(duì)這本書非常感興趣了,而且我很清楚,不管它是不是合法歸我所有,我都會(huì)把它借走。不僅如此,盡管我甚至都不確定自己能否在一個(gè)月內(nèi)看完兩本書(而且我甚至都不會(huì)先看這本書,因?yàn)槲冶仨氃?4天內(nèi)看完《鬼新娘》),但我還是要把它借走。雖然我抬抬手就能把它放回書架上,等一到家就為自己預(yù)約上這本書,如果我能記得住書名的話……
我覺得難受,覺得自己又貪心又內(nèi)疚。我是說,這位森尼·詹斯通也許等這本書已經(jīng)等了好幾個(gè)月了(盡管那本書看上去并不是特別新)。也許她那天也收到了一封電子郵件,現(xiàn)在正在前來取書的路上,正要輕盈地走向標(biāo)著J的書架……結(jié)果卻一無所獲。也許她長得和我一模一樣,而且冥冥中注定要發(fā)生這種怪誕的事。還有,你們知道人們對(duì)遇見一個(gè)和自己長得一模一樣的人是怎么說的。我最好趕緊溜之大吉?。ㄠ?,是的,以防你們之前以為我僅患有多發(fā)性硬化癥,我還患有嚴(yán)重的米蒂綜合征,愛做白日夢(mèng)。)我打定主意要去自助借閱區(qū)借書,因?yàn)榻栝喬幍墓ぷ魅藛T(更糟的是,那名工作人員還認(rèn)識(shí)我)會(huì)立馬發(fā)現(xiàn)我偷拿了別人的書。我隨時(shí)準(zhǔn)備看到借閱顯示屏上亮起刺眼的紅字:“非法借閱者注意:這不是你的書,立刻還回圖書預(yù)約區(qū)!”但是什么都沒發(fā)生。那臺(tái)自助借閱機(jī)還貼心地問我是否需要一張注明還書日期的憑據(jù)。
不不不,不能留下書面記錄。
我把兩本書塞進(jìn)包里,快步向出口走去。經(jīng)過出口的門時(shí),我的牙關(guān)都咬緊了。警報(bào)沒有響。站在門口,我深呼吸了一會(huì)兒。我自由了。
我的朋友把車停在了我們約好的見面地點(diǎn)。由于他永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)注意到我從圖書館拿走了不止一本書,我只好向他坦白了自己的罪行。他搖了搖頭,草草看了一眼夾在書里的紙條,然后看著我的眼睛。我一邊為自己找借口,解釋說那是一時(shí)記錯(cuò)和強(qiáng)迫性閱讀共同作用的一種結(jié)果,一邊試著從他的表情揣測(cè)他是否相信我說的話。(我能相信我自己?jiǎn)幔浚┧男θ葸€是一如既往地那么神秘莫測(cè)。他說:“希望你說的是對(duì)的?!?/p>
那么,對(duì)森尼·詹斯通或森比姆·詹斯科夫斯基——那個(gè)可憐的、無書可讀的、被命運(yùn)所害的、和我長得一模一樣的人,我要說:“原諒我。我在拼了命地看你的那本書呢!”
1.hold [h??ld] n. 保留通知
2.on hold: 被推遲,被故意延遲
3.YangszeChoo: 朱洋熹,馬來西亞第四代華僑,畢業(yè)于哈佛大學(xué)?!豆硇履铩罚═he Ghost Bride)是朱洋熹花三年時(shí)間完成的英文小說,于2013年8月初上市,獲得了各大媒體的一致好評(píng)。
4.stroll [str??l] vi. 閑逛;漫步
5.blindfolded [?bla?ndf??ld?d] adv. 被蒙住眼睛地
6.shorthand [????th?nd] n. 簡(jiǎn)約表達(dá)法;速記法
7.Richard Powers: 理查德·鮑爾斯(1957~),美國小說家,其代表作為《回聲制造者》(The Echo Maker),該書獲得2006年美國國家圖書獎(jiǎng)最佳小說獎(jiǎng)。
8.MS: 即multiple sclerosis,多發(fā)性硬化癥?;加羞@種病的人因神經(jīng)上的一部分覆蓋體逐漸損壞,導(dǎo)致身體日漸衰弱,眼睛出現(xiàn)復(fù)視現(xiàn)象,說話含糊不清。
9.jacket [?d??k?t] n. (書的)護(hù)封;(平裝書的)封面
10.blurb [bl??b] n. (印在書籍等護(hù)封上的)簡(jiǎn)介
11.feed [fi?d] n. (把已出版的內(nèi)容通過廣播、網(wǎng)絡(luò)等媒介)傳送(給大眾)
12.Kirkus Reviews: 《科克斯評(píng)論》,美國一家書評(píng)雜志,由弗吉尼婭·科克斯(Virginia Kirkus, 1893~1980)于1933年成立。
13.pick [p?k] n. 最好的物(或人)
14.slip [sl?p] n. 憑條;紙條
15.frisson [?fri?s??] n. (因激動(dòng)或恐懼而引起的)震顫,戰(zhàn)栗
16.imminent [??m?n?nt] adj. 臨近的;即將發(fā)生的
17.transgression [tr?nz?ɡre?n] n. 違反;違法;錯(cuò)誤
18.waltz [w??ls; w??lts] vi. 輕盈灑脫地走
19.hightail it: 趕緊跑;快跑;倉皇奔逃
20.Walter Mitty Syndrome:米蒂綜合征,由小說《白日夢(mèng)想家》(The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)中的虛擬人物Walter Mitty而得名。Walter Mitty是一個(gè)愛做英雄式白日夢(mèng)但最終卻一事無成的人,現(xiàn)用來指那些整天耽于幻想而不能自拔的人以及執(zhí)迷不悟的人。
21.kiosk [?ki??sk] n. 小亭;售貨亭
22.briskly [?br?skli] adv. 敏捷地
23.cursory [?k??s?ri] adj. 草率的;粗略的
24.gauge [ɡe?d?] vi. 估計(jì);判定
25.perfect storm: (一些不好的事同時(shí)發(fā)生而)糟得不可更糟的局面
26.lapse [l?ps] n. (一時(shí)的)遺忘,走神
27.enigmatic [?en?ɡ?m?t?k] adj. 神秘的;難以理解的