A girl once went to the fair2） to offer her service as a servant. Eventually a funny-looking old gentleman engaged3） her， and took her home to his house. When she got there， he told her that he had something to teach her， for in his house he had his own names for things.

He said to her， \"What will you call me？\"

\"Master or mister， or whatever you please， sir，\" said she.

\"You must call me 'master of all masters'. And what would you call this？\" he asked， pointing to his bed.

\"Bed or couch， or whatever you please， sir.\"

\"No， that's my 'barnacle4）'. And what do you call these？\" he continued， pointing to his pantaloons5）.

\"Breeches6） or trousers， or whatever you please， sir.\"

\"You must call them 'squibs7） and crackers8）'. And what would you call her？\" he asked， pointing to the cat.

\"Cat or kit， or whatever you please， sir.\"

\"You must call her 'white-faced simminy'. And this now，\" he said， showing the fire， \"what would you call this？\"

\"Fire or flame， or whatever you please， sir.\"

\"You must call it 'hot cockalorum9）'， and what about this？\" he went on， pointing to the water.

\"Water or wet， or whatever you please， sir.\"

\"No， 'pondalorum10）' is its name. And what do you call all this？\" he asked， as he pointed to the house.

\"House or cottage， or whatever you please， sir.\"

\"You must call it 'high topper mountain'.\"

That very night the servant woke her master up in a fright11） and said： \"Master of all masters， get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs and crackers. For white-faced simminy has got a spark of hot cockalorum on her tail， and unless you get some pondalorum， high topper mountain will be all on hot cockalorum.\"

1.Joseph Jacobs： 約瑟夫·雅各布斯（1854～1916），英國民俗學(xué)家、文學(xué)批評家、歷史學(xué)家，因?qū)⒂耖g故事集結(jié)成書出版而聞名。

2.fair [fe?（r）] n. 集市；市場

3.engage [?n?ɡe?d?] vt. 聘用；雇用

4.barnacle [?bɑ?n?kl] n. （巖石、船底等處附著的）甲殼類動物，藤壺

5.pantaloons [?p?nt??lu?nz] n. 馬褲；燈籠褲

6.breeches [?br?t??z] n. （及膝的）褲子；馬褲

7.squib [skw?b] n. 小爆竹

8.cracker [?kr?k?（r）] n. 爆竹

9.cockalorum [?k?k??l??r?m] n. 公雞中的公雞。該詞為合成詞，由cock和后綴-alorum （拉丁語中表所有格復(fù)數(shù)的后綴-orum的變體）構(gòu)成，意思可能是the cock of all cocks。

10.pondalorum [?p?nd??l??r?m] n. 池塘中的池塘。該詞構(gòu)成方式與cockalorum相同，故根據(jù)cockalorum的意思推測，該詞應(yīng)為the pond of all ponds的意思。

11.fright [fra?t] n. （尤指令人不快的事意外發(fā)生造成的）驚駭，恐懼