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        真為上策:文書寫作的返璞歸真

        2012-04-29 00:00:00梁旭鵬
        新東方英語·中學(xué)版 2012年11期

        Would there be any possible reason for a girl to feel inferior, if she runs faster than 99% of the males she knows, and achieves complete triumphs in almost all running races? My answer is no, because I'm myself a girl of this kind. 如果一個女孩兒跑得比她認(rèn)識的99%的男性都快且跑步比賽幾乎場場都贏,她還會有“女子不如男”這種想法么?我說,不會,因為我就是這種女孩。

        I was videotaping using one hand while crazily tapping my laptop, hitting Ctrl + Z and Ctrl + Y, murmuring \"what's gonna be next?\", scriptwriting and filming simultaneously so the actors didn't have to wait until I was done. I wish I were an octopus. 我一只手扛攝像機(jī),一只手狂敲鍵盤,一邊按“撤銷”和“重復(fù)”,一邊嘟囔著“接下來干神馬呢?”,邊寫劇本邊拍攝,這樣演員們就不用等到我弄完再來了。我真希望自己變成一只八爪魚啊。

        Coins have philosophical significance to me. Between the two sides of a coin there lies the ultimate impartiality of the universe: randomness and chaos. 硬幣對我而言有哲學(xué)上的特殊意義。硬幣的兩面之間蘊(yùn)含著宇宙間最終極的公平:隨機(jī)與混沌。

        I always find singing under the shower head as an amazingly helpful way to release pressure. Hiding behind the shower curtain, I sincerely present my singing and myself without reservation. 我總是發(fā)現(xiàn)在蓮蓬頭下面唱歌對減壓特別有效。躲在浴簾后,我真誠地、毫無保留地展現(xiàn)我的歌聲,還有我自個兒。

        以上這些口吻不同、風(fēng)格各異的文字都來自申請者的留學(xué)申請文書。申請文書,又稱申請短文,歷來都是美國本科申請中最神秘、最容易被“妖魔化”的部分,也是樂趣和挑戰(zhàn)共存的部分。通過一篇篇文書,美國大學(xué)的錄取委員們得以了解申請者的內(nèi)心世界,從無聲的文字中傾聽申請者精彩紛呈的心聲。

        文書概述

        美國本科申請文書的具體類型五花八門。以包括八所常春藤大學(xué)、斯坦福、麻省理工等超過400所美國大學(xué)使用的Common App網(wǎng)申系統(tǒng)為例,申請者需提交兩大類型的文書:一是提交給所有學(xué)校的主表格規(guī)定的文書;二是只提交給所選學(xué)校的附加短文(School Supplements)。

        主表格規(guī)定兩篇必選文章,一篇是120詞左右的短回答(Short Answer),另一篇是250~500詞的個人陳述(Personal Essay) (作者注:個人陳述前幾年一直只規(guī)定下限為250詞,2011年發(fā)布新規(guī)定,開始將上限定為500詞)。短回答部分要求申請者寫某個課外活動或工作經(jīng)歷(Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below)。個人陳述則要求申請者從Common App主表格上提供的六道題目中任選其一回答,如2012年秋季版?zhèn)€人陳述部分的六道題目分別為:

        1. Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

        2. Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

        3. Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

        4. Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

        5. A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

        6. Topic of your choice.

        (出處:Page 5, Common App 2012~2013 First—year Application)

        由此看來,個人陳述選擇相對多些,申請者可選擇寫自己最重要的經(jīng)歷、最關(guān)心的事情、對自己影響最大的人、最喜歡的虛構(gòu)人物等,甚至可以選擇最后一道題目——“自己任擬一個題目來進(jìn)行寫作(Topic of your choice)”。

        除了這兩篇Common App規(guī)定的必寫文章以外,申請者還需按自己所選學(xué)校的要求,寫一篇學(xué)校附加短文。各大高校利用這類附加短文,在個人陳述及短回答兩篇文章的基礎(chǔ)上,進(jìn)一步考查申請者與本校間的契合度。這類附加短文一般要求短則數(shù)十詞,長則近千詞。其內(nèi)容也十分多樣化,除了像紐約大學(xué)、康奈爾大學(xué)等這些學(xué)校常問的“學(xué)生的學(xué)術(shù)興趣(Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Cornell)”“學(xué)校吸引申請者之處(Why NYU? New York University)”之外,還有很多出人意料的題目,如“什么對你很重要?為什么?(What matters to you, and why? Stanford University)”,或“闡明培樂多彩泥與柏拉圖的關(guān)系(What does Play—Doh have to do with Plato? Chicago University)”。類似這樣的題目還有很多,在帶來挑戰(zhàn)的同時,也給申請者帶來了無窮無盡展現(xiàn)自己的機(jī)會。

        應(yīng)對之道

        申請文書中這些五花八門的問題既不像國內(nèi)語文課的作文題,又不像高考英語題,更不像“就事論事”的托福作文和“有理說理”的SAT作文。面對這些問題,許多在考場上所向披靡、寫起應(yīng)試作文來得心應(yīng)手的學(xué)生反而心存疑慮。究竟什么是對的?什么事情好寫?什么題材受青睞?要用什么結(jié)構(gòu)、什么體裁?要引用名人名言嗎?語言要寫得特別復(fù)雜、特別華麗嗎?有沒有類似考試作文那種模板?是不是非要講故事不可……很多學(xué)生誠惶誠恐,為了文書寫作焦頭爛額。有的學(xué)生認(rèn)真寫作,幾易其稿,仍舊覺得文章別別扭扭,每一個英文單詞和短語都有待商榷;有的學(xué)生瘋狂搜羅市面上關(guān)于美國本科申請的書籍,試圖以別人的故事啟發(fā)自己;有的學(xué)生發(fā)動了強(qiáng)大的后援團(tuán),找來教授、外國朋友、名校文學(xué)博士等來為自己修改文章;甚至還有些學(xué)生照搬照抄別人的經(jīng)歷,或索性雙手一攤,將展示自我的舞臺丟給他人唱“替身戲”。如此這般,導(dǎo)致最后出來的申請材料既不像本人,也不知是誰,看起來像是糅合了百家觀點、混雜了中學(xué)生優(yōu)秀作文選情節(jié)和美國大片橋段的一鍋大雜燴。

        我們究竟有沒有必要把文書看得這樣復(fù)雜?答案是——沒必要。究其本質(zhì),文書是美國本科申請材料中對在校成績、排名、語言考試分?jǐn)?shù)等信息的有效補(bǔ)充,它讓招生官看到的申請者不再是一連串毫無生氣的數(shù)字的組合,而是一個個鮮活生動的“人”。學(xué)校的錄取也因此不再是簡單地依據(jù)分?jǐn)?shù)篩選,而是“慧眼識人”。文書猶如人性的剪影,申請者精選自己性格、思想、經(jīng)歷中最有代表性的部分,并用最真實、最恰如其分的方式展現(xiàn)出來。文書的寫作過程實際上是一個自我發(fā)現(xiàn)的過程,通過回憶、審視和內(nèi)省,發(fā)掘自己的閃光點,用自己真實獨特的口吻,把一篇篇幾百字的文書,變成一部部精彩紛呈的微電影。因而,真正能夠賦予這些文書以無窮魅力的正是文字背后真實的人性,而這也正是變化多端的文書題目想要申請者體現(xiàn)出來的。文書原本就是盡情展示真實自我的舞臺,所以大可不必隨大流喊口號,言不由衷或矯揉造作,甚至“老天給你一張臉,你再另造一張”。申請者需要做的就是萬變不離其宗,以“真”為上策。

        正如開篇的幾個片段所示,申請者的性格千差萬別,體現(xiàn)在文書中也各有特色。他們的口吻或慷慨激昂,或溫柔婉約,或無厘頭搞笑,或文藝小清新,他們所關(guān)心的人與事、眼中所見的世界和經(jīng)歷過的故事更是不盡相同。個性無法同一而論,任何刻意模仿、編造或?qū)ふ椰F(xiàn)成套路的做法都是不可取的。真實的自己才是文書真正的寶藏。寫作時必須要好好思考:我最引以為傲而不是“其他人大概會覺得好”的經(jīng)歷是什么?最能代表我個性的講話口吻是什么?我最最熱愛的、不管是否“不務(wù)正業(yè)”的興趣究竟是什么?我總會回想起來或有時不愿意去觸碰的回憶又有哪些?像這樣的問題,只有申請者本人能夠給出最真實的答案。而只有給出了最忠于內(nèi)心的答案,才可能寫出發(fā)自肺腑、直指人心的文字。真實、真誠、真摯,概括為一個字,就是“真”。而這正是紛繁蕪雜的文書寫作中不變的真理。

        下文就是一篇精彩的申請文書。申請者從自身的經(jīng)歷出發(fā),審視了他們家兩代人都曾經(jīng)歷過的教育困境,而這也巧妙地引出了申請者想要出國留學(xué)的原因:想要為現(xiàn)在的困境尋求一條出路。該文書真摯感人,不浮夸、不空洞,讓人能看到申請者那種發(fā)自內(nèi)心的迫切渴望。

        Topic 2: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

        By Tony Guo

        My brother Johnny is eight years younger than me. As he was growing up from a fleshy, chubby—cheeked creature to a little boy, I began to see the younger version of me on him: the same round face, the cheerful look, and the featured thick eyebrows of the Guos. Since he was four, I started to educate him like how my father educated me, but I was much tougher! Maybe it's because I didn't want him to make the same mistakes I made before. Born to be mild and easy—going, he seldom dared to argue and always obeyed without complaint. When he chewed with mouth opening, I would immediately say \"Stop!\" When he scattered toys in the whole living room like animals marking territories, I would jump out and force him to organize everything. When he scribbled his homework, I would urge him to start over seriously. His real father, our dad, often criticized my family education approaches. He would speak for my little brother, saying I was too strict, while I insisted to stick to the high standard. \"Don't be THIS tough!\" \"It's good for him!\" The heated debate on \"how to educate the kids\" between us could often last for hours!

        However, I gradually realized that the real clash wasn't between dad and me.

        When Johnny entered primary school, I became his volunteer Chinese tutor. But no matter how hard we tried, his essays never scored \"A\" but always scored \"D\". Once I nearly fell into quarrels with my brother's Chinese instructor. He insisted that Johnny's essay about Harry Potter wasn't profound enough, and made him add \"Books enlighten me. I LOVE reading!\" However, I found it unreasonable to have a 10—year—old boy say this. What a dilemma! Having spent eight years in school more than my brother, I knew all the tactics to cope with rigid rules and score high, such as using Firstly—Secondly—Thirdly structure, or adding template—style sentences and slogans. However, I value one's true ideas and passions more, although some were still childish and shallow. But why should we expect a child like my brother to be sophisticated and pre—mature?

        Eventually, when seeing the tears in Johnny's confused eyes, I understood my father's feeling. He used to struggle in the same education system. I did, too, and now it's my brother's turn. The conflict between individualism and collective social standards challenged my father, then me, and now my brother. We are both looking back upon the past. We are both looking forward with hope. My father went to college in China, and supported the lucky me to study abroad. Feeling grateful, I dream of being enlightened by real creative writing classes, flexibly designed curriculum tailored to every unique student, and a campus that fosters diversity. I dream of finding the most effective teaching approaches, and making policies to design a better education system—for me, for my dad, for my little brother, and for many Chinese kids who are also struggling like I did.

        (注:文中所有人名皆為化名。)

        申請文書,請呈現(xiàn)真實可愛的你。

        作者簡介:

        梁旭鵬,新東方前途出國美國本科部資深顧問,北京新東方學(xué)校北美考試部SAT寫作教師,畢業(yè)于賓夕法尼亞大學(xué),擁有近四年在美留學(xué)、工作經(jīng)歷。2011年歸國加入新東方,負(fù)責(zé)美國本科申請指導(dǎo)及SAT強(qiáng)化寫作教學(xué),擅長個性化活動規(guī)劃、美本申請及文書指導(dǎo),曾指導(dǎo)多位學(xué)生進(jìn)入哈佛、賓大、布朗、衛(wèi)斯理等大學(xué)就讀本科。

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