2009年6月20日，伊朗一群為自由而戰(zhàn)的斗士在與政府的暴力沖突中死傷無數(shù)，其中一名被殺害者是一個(gè)名叫Neda的伊朗女子。以下是當(dāng)天和她一同參加示威游行并稱其為“姐姐”的一位伊朗德黑蘭女大學(xué)生，在游行前一晚和游行當(dāng)天在博客上寫下的讓人百感交集的日記……

“Neda”在波斯語里有“聲音”和“號(hào)召”的意思，從第二篇日記里的一些用詞可以推斷出該博主與Neda并無血緣關(guān)系，兩人是因?yàn)楣餐睦硐攵驹诹送魂嚲€上。

——Lavender

The First Post

Written on June 19th， 2009

I will participate in the demonstrations tomorrow. Maybe they will turn violent. Maybe I will be one of the people who is going to get killed. I’m listening to all my favorite music. I even want to dance to a few songs. I always wanted to have very narrow eyebrows. Yes， maybe I will go to the salon before I go tomorrow! There are a few great movie scenes that I also have to see. I should drop by the library， too. It’s worth it to read the poems of 1)Forough and 2)Shamlu again. All family pictures have to be reviewed， too. I have to call my friends as well to say goodbye. All I have are two bookshelves， which I told my family， who should receive them. I’m two units away from getting my bachelors degree but who cares about that. My mind is very chaotic. I wrote these random sentences for the next generation so they know we were not just emotional and under peer pressure. So they know that we did everything we could to create a better future for them. So they know that our ancestors surrendered to Arabs and Mongols but did not surrender to 3)despotism. This note is dedicated to tomorrow’s children...

The Second Post

Written on June 20th， 2009

Yesterday I wrote a note， with the subject line “tomorrow is a great day perhaps tomorrow I’ll be killed.” I’m here to let you know I’m alive but my sister was killed...

I’m here to tell you my sister died while in her father’s arms.

I’m here to tell you my sister had big dreams...

I’m here to tell you my sister who died was a decent person... and， like me， yearned for a day when her hair would be swept by the wind... and， like me， read “Forough”... and longed to live free and equal... and she longed to hold her head up and announce， “I’m Iranian”... and she longed to one day fall in love with a man with 4)shaggy hair... and she longed for a daughter to braid her hair and sing 5)lullabies by her crib... my sister died from not having a life... my sister died as injustice has no end... my sister died since she loved life too much... and my sister died since she lovingly cared for people... my loving sister， I wish you had closed your eyes when your time had come... the very end of your last glance burns my soul... sister， have a short sleep， your last dream be sweet.

第一篇日記

寫于2009年6月19日

我將參加明天的示威游行?；蛟S那些游行會(huì)演變成暴力沖突，或許我會(huì)成為被害者之一。我正聽著所有自己最愛的音樂，甚至想隨著其中幾首歌的旋律起舞……我總希望自己的眉毛可以細(xì)點(diǎn)兒。對(duì)，在游行前，或許我該去趟美發(fā)店!我還得重溫好幾個(gè)精彩電影場景。我還應(yīng)該去趟圖書館，F(xiàn)orough和Shamlu的詩歌值得再拜讀一下。家人的所有照片我要再看一遍。我要給朋友們打電話，向他們告別。除了兩個(gè)書架以外，我別無他物，我已經(jīng)跟家人說好讓誰來接收。還差兩個(gè)單元的課程，我就能獲得學(xué)士學(xué)位了，可是誰還在乎呢。我頭腦一片混亂。我在這里東一句西一句地寫著，為的是讓下一代人知道，我們并不只是感情用事，也非出于同儕壓力而行事;為的是讓他們知道，我們盡了一切所能給他們創(chuàng)造一個(gè)更美好的未來;為的是讓他們知道，我們的祖先曾降服于阿拉伯人和蒙古人，卻從未降服于專制統(tǒng)治。這篇日記是獻(xiàn)給未來的孩子們的……

第二篇日記

寫于2009年6月20日

昨天，我寫了一篇主題為“明天將是偉大的一天，而明天我或許會(huì)被殺害”的日記。而我現(xiàn)在想告訴大家，我還活著，但我的姐姐被殺害了……

我想告訴大家，我的姐姐死在她父親的懷里。

我想告訴大家，我的姐姐有著遠(yuǎn)大的夢想……

我想告訴大家，我死去的姐姐是個(gè)好人……并且，她和我一樣，渴望有一天能自由地任風(fēng)吹拂她的發(fā)絲;她和我一樣，讀Forough的詩歌，渴望過上自由平等的生活……她渴望有一天能昂起頭，宣告道:“我是一個(gè)伊朗人”……她渴望有一天能和一個(gè)頭發(fā)濃密的男子墜入愛河……她渴望生一個(gè)女兒，為她梳辮子，在她的搖籃邊哼著歌兒哄她入睡……我姐姐為控訴無法過上正常的生活而犧牲，為永無止境的不公而赴 義……我的姐姐死了，因?yàn)樗绱藷釔凵睢业慕憬闼懒?，因?yàn)樗類壑晾嗜嗣瘛抑劣H至愛的姐姐，我希望在死神來臨的那一刻，你已閉上了雙眼……你對(duì)這人世的最后一瞥，炙烤著我的靈魂……姐姐，愿你打個(gè)小盹，愿你做的最后一個(gè)夢是甜美的……