How many times have you gotten upset because someone wasn’t doing their job， because your child wasn’t behaving， because your partner or friend wasn’t 1)living up to his or her end of the bargain? How many times have you been irritated when someone didn’t do things the way you’re used to? Or when you’ve planned something carefully and things didn’t go as you’d hoped?

This kind of anger and irritation happens to all of us—it’s part of the human experience.

One thing that irritates me is when people talk during a movie. Or 2)cut me off in traffic. Or don’t wash their dishes after eating. Actually， I have a lot of these little annoyances—don’t we all? And it isn’t always easy to find peace when you’ve become upset or irritated.

Let me 3)let you in on a little secret to finding peace of mind: see the glass as already broken.

See， the cause of our stress， anger and irritation is that things don’t go the way we like， the way we expect them to. Think of how many times this has been true for you.

And so the solution is simple: expect things to go wrong， expect things to be different than we hoped or planned， expect the unexpected to happen. And accept it.

One quick example: on our recent trip to Japan， I told my kids to expect things to go wrong—they always do on a trip. I told them， “See it as part of the adventure.”

And this worked like a charm. When we inevitably took the wrong train on a foreign-language subway system， or when it rained on the day we went to Disney Sea， or when we took three trains and walked 10 blocks only to find the4)National Children’s Castle is closed on Mondays … they said， “It’s part of the adventure!” And it was all OK—we didn’t get too bothered.

So when the nice glass you bought inevitably falls and breaks， someday， you might get upset. But not if you see the glass as already broken， from the day you get it. You know it’ll break someday， so from the beginning， see it as already broken. Be a time-traveler， or someone with time-traveling vision， and see the future of this glass， from this moment until it inevitably breaks. And when it breaks， you won’t be upset or sad—because it was already broken， from the day you got it. And you’ll realize that every moment you have with it is precious.

Expect your child to mess up—all children do. And don’t get so upset when they mess up， when they don’t do what they’re “supposed” to do … because they’re supposed to mess up.

Expect your partner to be less than perfect.

Expect your friend to not show up sometimes.

Expect things to go not according to plan.

Expect people to be rude sometimes.

Expect coworkers not to 5)come through sometimes.

Expect roommates not to wash their dishes or pick up their clothes， sometimes.

Expect the glass to break.

And accept it.

You won’t change these inevitable facts—they will happen， eventually. And if you expect it to happen—even see it as already happening， before it happens—you won’t get so upset.

You won’t overreact. You’ll respond appropriately， but not overreact. You can talk to the person about their behavior， and ask them kindly to consider your feelings when they do this … but you won’t get overly emotional and 6)blow things out of proportion.

You’ll smile， and think， “I expected that to happen. The glass was already broken. And I accept that.”

You’ll have peace of mind. And that， my friends， is a welcome surprise.

多少次，你因為某人不履行其職責(zé)而煩惱，因為孩子不聽話而煩惱，因為伴侶或朋友不遵守諾言而煩惱?又有多少次，你因為某人沒有按你一慣的方式做事而生氣?或是因為周詳計劃卻落得事與愿違的結(jié)局而惱怒?

這類氣憤和惱怒發(fā)生在我們每個人的生活中——它是人生體驗的一部分。

使我惱怒的事包括有人在我看電影時聊天，有人超我車，有人用餐后不清洗盤子。事實上，我有許多類似的小煩惱——我們每個人都有，不是嗎?而且，每當(dāng)我們變得心煩意亂或惱怒，總是很難平靜下來。

讓我告訴你一個使自己平靜下來的秘訣:把玻璃杯看作是已經(jīng)破碎了的。

你瞧，我們之所以感到有壓力，感到氣憤、惱怒都源于事情沒有按我們喜歡的，期望的方式發(fā)展。想想有多少次都是因為這樣。

要是這樣，解決辦法就簡單了:料想事情可能會出問題，料想事情可能會不按照我們所希望的或是計劃的方向發(fā)展，料想會有意外之事發(fā)生。并且學(xué)會接受。

舉個簡單的例子:我和孩子們最近去日本旅行時，我讓他們做好心理準(zhǔn)備，旅途也許會不太順利——旅途中總會遇到這樣那樣的狀況。我告訴他們:“把遇到的意外狀況看作是冒險的一部分”。

這心態(tài)如魔法般奏效。當(dāng)不可避免的事發(fā)生，比如我們在使用外文指示的地鐵系統(tǒng)中坐錯車，或是在我們?nèi)サ纤鼓岷Ｑ髽穲@的那天下起了雨，或是我們坐了三趟火車，又步行了10個街區(qū)，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)國立兒童館逢周一閉館……孩子們會說:“這是冒險的一部分!”，而且一切都還好，我們并沒有因為那些事而過于煩惱。

所以，當(dāng)你買的漂亮的玻璃杯某天最終逃不過被摔碎的命運(yùn)時，你可能會心煩意亂，但如果你在得到它的那天起就把它看作是已破碎的東西，你就不會感到煩惱了。你知道它總有一天會碎，所以從一開始，你就把它看作已經(jīng)碎了。做一個時間旅行者，做個擁有跨越時空感的人，看看這個玻璃杯的未來，從這刻起，直到它不可避免地被打碎。然后，當(dāng)它真的被打碎時，你就不會太煩惱或難過了——因為從你得到它的那天起，它就已經(jīng)碎了。并且，你會意識到，當(dāng)它完整時，擁有它的每一刻是那樣珍貴。

料想著你的孩子會把事情弄得一團(tuán)糟吧——所有孩子都這樣。并且，當(dāng)他們把事情弄糟，當(dāng)他們沒有做“本該”做的事時，不要那么煩惱……因為你早料想到他們會把事情弄糟。

料想著你的伴侶不那么完美。

料想著你的朋友有時會不露面。

料想著事情不會按照計劃進(jìn)行。

料想著人們有時會不禮貌。

料想著你的同事有時會不守承諾。

料想著你的室友有時會不洗盤子，也不收衣服。

料想著那個玻璃杯會被打碎。

并且接受這一切的發(fā)生。

你無法改變這些必然會發(fā)生的事情——它們終會發(fā)生的。但如果你料想到它會發(fā)生——甚至在事情發(fā)生前，就把它看作已發(fā)生——你就不會那么煩惱了。

你不會反應(yīng)過度。你會做出適當(dāng)?shù)幕貞?yīng)，而不會反應(yīng)過度。你可以和當(dāng)事人談?wù)勊麄兊男袨椋蜕频卣埱笏麄冊谧鲞@事時考慮一下你的感受……但你不會過于情緒化，把事情夸大。

你會微笑，想著:“這是我預(yù)計會發(fā)生的。那個玻璃杯在我心里早就碎了。所以我可以接受它?！?/p>

你的內(nèi)心會很平靜。朋友們，那會成為一份讓人歡欣的驚喜。