相同的職責(zé)

一個退休的四星級將軍在曼哈頓的一個酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤務(wù)兵，勤務(wù)兵也退休在家。這位將軍花了一整個晚上的時間來說服他回來做他的貼身隨從。“你的職責(zé)與在軍隊時完全一樣，”將軍說，“這沒什么，你很快就會再次理解它的。”

第二天早晨8點鐘時，前勤務(wù)兵迅速地進到前將軍的臥室，拉開窗簾，輕輕地搖了搖將軍，然后大步走到床的另一側(cè)，在他雇主的妻子屁股上拍了一下，說道：“好了，甜心，你該回到村莊去了?！?/p>

The Same Duties

A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast."

Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."

最好的獎賞

一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中,他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問如何才能酬謝他。

“最好的辦法，長官，”這名水手說，“是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會把我扔下去的。”

Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

大五個月

第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開始了，約翰想?yún)④?，可他只?6歲，當時規(guī)定男孩到18歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進行體檢時，他說他已經(jīng)18歲了。

可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆]幾天，而且也是這個軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓,所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。

“你多大了？”軍醫(yī)問。

“18，長官。”約翰說。

“可你的哥哥也是18歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎？”

約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大5個月。”

Five Months Older

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.

"How old are you?" he said.

"Eighteen, sir," said John.

"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."

慎重許愿

一對結(jié)婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們60歲的生日,他們恰好在同一天出生。 慶祝活動中，一位仙女出現(xiàn)了。她說，由于他們是已經(jīng)結(jié)婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她許給這對夫妻每個人一個愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手?！班亍钡囊宦?，她的手中出現(xiàn)了一張票。

接下來該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人?！?

仙女拾起了魔術(shù)棒?！班亍彼兂闪?0歲。

Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.