I. Pig or Witch

A man is driving up a steep， narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other， the woman leans out of the window and yells “PIG!” The man immediately leans out of his window and replies， “WITCH(女巫)!” They each continue on their way， and as the man rounds the next corner， he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only the man would listen.

I. 豬還是女巫

一名男子在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車，一位婦女相向駕車而來。他們相遇時，那位婦女從車窗伸出頭來叫道：“豬!” 男子立即從車窗伸出頭來回敬道：“女巫!”他們繼續(xù)前行。這名男子在下一個路口轉(zhuǎn)彎時，撞上了路中間的一頭豬。要是這個男的能聽懂那個女人的意思就好了。

II. Secret for a Long Life

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look.”she says，“What’s your secret for a long， happy life？”

“I smoke three packs a day， drink a case of whiskey a week， eat fatty foods and neverexercise.”

“Wow， that’s amazing.”says the woman.“How old are you？”“Twenty-six.”

II. 長壽秘訣

一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖擺的小老頭?！拔覠o意中發(fā)現(xiàn)，你是多么幸福，”女士說，“你幸福而長壽的秘密是什么呢？”

“我每天抽三包煙，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛煉。”

“哦，真神奇，”女士說，“你高壽？”“二十六?！?/p>

III. Much Worse

Policeman：Why

didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man： If I had opened my mouth， they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

III. 那就更糟了

警察：有人搶你的手表時，你為什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。