上班族／洋相

Boss wants too much

For thirty years，John had arrived at work at 9A．M．on the dot．He hadnever missed a day and was never late．

Consequently，when on one particular day 9 A．M．passed withoutJohnson's arrival，it caused a sensation．All work ceased，and the boss himself，looking at his watch and muttering，came out into the corridor．

Finally，precisely at ten，John showed up，clothes dusty and torn，his facescratched and bruised，his glasses bent．He limped painfully to the time clock，punched in，and said，aware that all eyes were upon him，\"I tripped and rolleddown two flights of stairs in the subway．Nearly killed myself．\"

And the boss said，\"Aud to roll down two flights of stairs took you a wholehour?\"

·老板要求得大多了

三十年來，約翰一直都是上午九點(diǎn)準(zhǔn)時(shí)上班，從來沒有缺席過一天，也沒有遲到過。因此，有一天早上九點(diǎn)過了他還沒來時(shí)，引起了轟動。所有的工作都停止了，老板則邊看著表邊嘀咕，并且走到了走廊上。

終于，十點(diǎn)整時(shí)，約翰衣衫襤褸，鼻青臉腫的出現(xiàn)了，眼鏡也被弄彎了，他一瘸一拐地走到打卡機(jī)旁，發(fā)現(xiàn)大家都在看著他，“我從地鐵站的兩層樓梯上滾了下來，差點(diǎn)要了我的命!”他說。

但老板卻問道：“難道從兩層樓上滾下來需要花費(fèi)你整整一個(gè)小時(shí)？”

Have a life after death

\"Do you believe in life after death?\"the boss asked one of his employees．\"Yes，Sir．\"the new recruit replied．\"Well，then，that makes everything justfine，\"the boss went on．\"After you left early yesterday to go to your

grandmother's funeral，she stopped in to see you

·人死之后

“你相信人死后還有生命嗎?”老板問他的一個(gè)員工。

“是的，老板?！眴T工回答。

“恩，那就對了?！崩习褰又f，“昨天你早退去參加你祖母的葬禮之后，你的祖母來看過你?！?/p>

Late for work

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was alwayslate for work．His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn'tdo something about it.So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill andtold him to take it before he went to bed．Tom slept well and in fact beat thealarm in the morning.He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully towork．\"Boss\"，he said，\"The pill actually worked!\"That's all fine\"said the boss，\"But where were you yesterday?\"

·遲到

湯姆早上總是醒不了，所以經(jīng)常上班遲到。他的老板對他忍無可忍，就威脅他說如果再遲到便會開除他。湯姆于是只好去看醫(yī)生并開了些藥，醫(yī)生告訴他在睡覺之前服用它。湯姆這天晚上睡得很好，并在早上準(zhǔn)時(shí)被鬧鐘喚醒，他愉快地吃過早餐然后開著車去上班。

“老板”他說，“那些藥真的很有效啊!”

“是不錯(cuò)”老板回答?！暗悄阕蛱烊ツ睦锪?”