（But you probably won’t like them）

I asked DeepSeek to predict my fortune based on my birth time. Guess what？ The AI said I’ll get married next year！ But I’m not seeing anyone at the moment—where can I find my Mr. Right？

Fated but Single

Don’t be too 上頭 （shàngtóu， overly excited） about these AI predictions. Next year？ 做夢吧 （Zuòmèng ba， Keep dreaming）！ That’s like expecting my grandson to quit 擺爛 （bǎilàn， slacking off） and become a 人生贏家 （rénshēng yíngjiā， winner in life）. Besides， how could a lifeless machine grasp the profound art of 算命 （suànmìng， fortune-telling）， with all its intricate 八字 （bāzì， Four Pillars of Destiny） and 五行 （wǔxíng， Five Elements） calculations？ That said， if your goal is to get married next year， DeepSeek can still help—maybe not with fate， but with practical tips like 明確自己的期望 （míngquè zìjǐ"de qīwàng， clarifying expectations） and 擴大社交圈 （kuòdà shèjiāoquān， expanding your social circle）. The key？ Using AI the right way！

Lately， I’ve really been missing my carefree childhood—no work， no mortgage， no pressure！ How do I shake off this nostalgia？

Forever 12

Still stuck in the golden age， huh？ You young folks have never lived through 苦日子 （kǔrìzi， difficult times） like I did—no wonder you haven’t grown up！ I’m definitely not 懷舊 （huáijiù， nostalgic）. Are you kidding？ My childhood was helping with household chores like an adult while everything was 落后 （luòhòu， backward）！ Stop being so 不知感恩 （bùzhī gǎn’ēn， ungrateful） toward the life you’ve got， which we worked hard for. Watch your 動畫片兒 （dònghuàpiānr， cartoons）， play with your old 玩具 （wánjù， toys）， but don’t 縱容 （zòngróng， indulge） yourself. 人生苦短 （rénshēng kǔduǎn， life’s short）—you’re not making it longer by living in the past！

Got questions for Agony Ayi？ Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com