On a winter Sunday morning, I was about to go out to play basketball when Isaw my Mom wash clothes. Mom lifted up a basin of water with sweat on her face.Mom looked very tired. So I decided to share some housework with her. I put thebasketball on the ground, sat down and start于to wash clothes. The water was socold and my hands turned red with the cold. And I never stopped. About half anhour later, I finished my housework. When Mom found all the work was done well,she said,“How a good boy you are! ”
I was so proud that I could share housework with Mom.
河北省阜城縣第四中學(xué)皮浩青
本期點(diǎn)評名師
張超男,河北省衡水市阜城縣第四中學(xué)高級英語教師、縣骨干教師、市優(yōu)秀英語教師,從事英語教育教學(xué)工作30 多年;多年來,在省級以上報(bào)刊發(fā)表文章數(shù)百篇,并有多篇文章獲獎(jiǎng);曾參與多本教輔資料的編寫工作;曾榮獲“中央教育科學(xué)研究所全國基礎(chǔ)教育科研先進(jìn)個(gè)人”榮譽(yù)稱號;曾多次輔導(dǎo)多名學(xué)生在市、省和國家級英語競賽中獲獎(jiǎng)。
點(diǎn)評
優(yōu)點(diǎn):
本文構(gòu)思巧妙,語言樸實(shí)流暢,感情真摯細(xì)膩。
需要修改的地方:
①wash 改為washing。see sb. doing sth.意為“看到某人正在做某事”。
②start 改為started。started 和sat,put 是并列謂語,時(shí)態(tài)應(yīng)保持一致。
③And 改為But。上下文是轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系。
④How 改為What。當(dāng)what 和how 引導(dǎo)感嘆句時(shí),what 修飾名詞,而how修飾形容詞或副詞。
評分:
按中考英語作文滿分20 分的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得18 分。