本期點(diǎn)評(píng)名師
陳傳光男,江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)高級(jí)教師、連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁、江蘇省教育學(xué)會(huì)會(huì)員,從事教育教學(xué)工作多年;曾獲英語(yǔ)教研能力大賽區(qū)一等獎(jiǎng)、英語(yǔ)專業(yè)技能大賽市一等獎(jiǎng)、班主任基本功大賽市一等獎(jiǎng);有多篇論文在各核心和主流期刊上發(fā)表;曾指導(dǎo)學(xué)生在各類競(jìng)賽中取得不錯(cuò)的成績(jī),有多人獲得地市級(jí)獎(jiǎng)和省級(jí)獎(jiǎng)。
My Progress
Life is always full of difficulties, but when we overcome it ①, we willmake great progress.
I couldnt swim when I was twelve so I thought it was too hard. In order toencourage me learning②to swim, my father often took me to the swimming pool. Atfirst, I didnt like swimming at all. But through hard work and continuous practice,I finally learned how to swim. Now, I can swim more than 500 meters, but③I havemade great progress.
Just as a famous saying goes, nothing is difficult if you put your heart into it.No matter what difficulties we face, we will make progress if we work hard.
江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué) 張靜賢
點(diǎn)評(píng)
優(yōu)點(diǎn):
小作者用不長(zhǎng)的篇幅講述了一個(gè)完整的故事,有起因、過(guò)程、結(jié)果,篇尾得出了人生哲理,使短文主題得以升華??傊?,這是一篇不錯(cuò)的學(xué)生習(xí)作。
需要修改的地方:
①it 改為them。代指上文中的復(fù)數(shù)名詞difficulties,應(yīng)使用them。
②learning 改為to learn。encourage sb. to do sth.意為“鼓勵(lì)某人做某事”。
③but 改為and。此處上下文是并列關(guān)系。
評(píng)分:
按江蘇省連云港市中考英語(yǔ)作文滿分25分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得22分。