本期點(diǎn)評名師

陳傳光男，江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學(xué)高級教師、連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁、江蘇省教育學(xué)會會員，從事教育教學(xué)工作多年;曾獲英語教研能力大賽區(qū)一等獎、英語專業(yè)技能大賽市一等獎、班主任基本功大賽市一等獎;有多篇論文在各核心和主流期刊上發(fā)表;曾指導(dǎo)學(xué)生在各類競賽中取得不錯的成績，有多人獲得地市級獎和省級獎。

An Unforgettable Activity

Our Chinese teacher Mr. Wang wanted us to relax ourselves after busy study，so we held an activity on the playground last Friday afternoon. He told us，“Showwhat you can do.”

We were excited and looked at others happily after his words. To me surprise， Alice sang an English song about the countrys life. She sang so goodthat we were moved deeply. Frank was a quiet boy， but this time he did kung fuas if he has learned it for years. After that， Tim told us the story of. We all laughed when he acted as Sun Wukong. I performed Beijingopera successfully. We all enjoyed ourselves. At last， our teacher said，“Youregreat. We need to play hard and study hard in our life！ ”

This activity was interesting and meaningful. I will never forget it.

江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學(xué)夏悅

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

本文是一篇介紹文娛活動的作文。小作者開篇直接交代了這次文娛活動的時間、地點(diǎn)和內(nèi)容，接下來具體介紹了活動的情況。整篇文章語句通順、思路清晰，是一篇不錯的學(xué)生習(xí)作。

2. 需要修改的地方院

①me 改為 my。to ones surprise 是固定短語，意為“令某人吃驚的是”。

②good 改為 well。修飾動詞 sang 要使用副詞 well。

③has learned 改為 had learned。這個句子表示“過去的過去”發(fā)生的事情，應(yīng)該用過去完成時，has 應(yīng)改為 had。

3. 評分