方莉苗

讀后續(xù)寫這一題型既綜合性地檢驗(yàn)考生的語言能力，又要求其在語篇形式中展現(xiàn)自己的文化意識和思維品質(zhì)，貼近新課標(biāo)中所設(shè)定目標(biāo)的“形成正確的價(jià)值觀和道德情感”。通常來說，文章的結(jié)尾、主題的升華是考生的深層次理解能力體現(xiàn)之處，也是其語言精煉所在。

本文以1月份八省聯(lián)考模擬題和3篇續(xù)寫高考真題為例，結(jié)合考生在寫作練筆中的具體困惑，探討如何擬好點(diǎn)亮續(xù)寫主題（theme）的結(jié)尾句。

[例1]?2021年1月八省聯(lián)考題

故事梗概：陌生人幫助修車后，偷偷返還作者給的報(bào)酬。

提煉主題：幫助他人。

擬好結(jié)尾：這個(gè)故事既是“助人”主題，結(jié)尾便可融入陌生家庭不計(jì)回報(bào)的幫助給作者所帶來的沖擊或者感慨，并考慮將具體事件向意義所在（句1）、人生思考（句2）、未來展望、傳遞善良（句3、句4）升華。

結(jié)尾句1：It?was?at?that?moment?that?I?realized?such?acts?of?kindness?are?opportunities?to?know?how?good?it?feels?to?be?kind?and?helpful.

結(jié)尾句2：The?family?made?me?really?moved，?and?I?finally?understood?it?is?kindness?and?help?that?make?the?world?go?around.

結(jié)尾句3：Having?learned?a?life?lesson?from?the?family，?I?made?up?my?mind?to?help?more?people?in?the?future.

結(jié)尾句4：Since?then?Ive?decided?to?help?others?more，?as?kindness?is?one?thing?that?really?deserves?to?be?passed?on?from?one?to?another.

[例2]?2020年7月新高考卷（山東）

故事梗概：孩子們用賣爆米花的方法，幫助貧困家庭解決經(jīng)濟(jì)困難。

提煉主題：幫助他人。

擬好結(jié)尾：這一篇高考真題中的故事同樣是“助人”主題，也同樣是一個(gè)家庭對別人的幫助，不同的是，有想法和有行動(dòng)的是一群善良而又聰明的孩子。結(jié)尾可自然融入孩子們通過幫助他人得到心靈成長，考慮把一個(gè)具體事件向獲得快樂（句1）、自身成長（句2）、領(lǐng)悟人生道理（句3、句4）升華。

結(jié)尾句1：All?of?this?was?because?of?Johns?bright?idea?and?the?familys?help.?For?them，?it?was?really?an?unforgettable?and?cheerful?life?experience.

結(jié)尾句2：It?turned?out?that?their?efforts?not?only?helped?a?friend?in?need，?but?also?gave?themselves?the?sweet?taste?of?helping?others.

結(jié)尾句3：It?is?love?and?helping?others?that?make?the?world?go?around?and?Bernard?felt?it?deep?in?his?little?heart.

結(jié)尾句4：Bernard?was?deeply?moved?and?thankful，?and?he?knew?from?the?bottom?of?his?heart?that?it?was?not?just?money，?but?love，?kindness?and?friendship?that?filled?his?little?pot.

[例3]?2020年7月浙江卷

故事梗概：作者和妻子在拍攝北極熊過程中遭遇攻擊，最終脫險(xiǎn)。

提煉主題：脫離險(xiǎn)境。

擬好結(jié)尾：在“人與自然”的主題語境下，人與動(dòng)物的故事中也往往滲透著作者的情感、態(tài)度和價(jià)值觀。此類文章的結(jié)尾應(yīng)以人與自然和諧相處為原則，可考慮用“畫面定格法”交代作者和妻子成功脫離險(xiǎn)境（句1），或者“首尾呼應(yīng)法”總結(jié)有驚無險(xiǎn)，不虛此行，成功用相機(jī)拍到了夢寐以求的照片（句2），又或者將歷險(xiǎn)記升華至人與動(dòng)物的相遇聯(lián)結(jié)（句3）以及人能為動(dòng)物和自然做些什么（句4）。

結(jié)尾句1：As?we?were?climbing?the?rope?ladder，?Elli?kept?praying?to?show?her?thankfulness?of?being?safe?and?sound.

結(jié)尾句2：Though?risking?my?life，?Ive?got?the?best?picture?ever?and?its?all?worth?it.

結(jié)尾句3：Although?all?our?pictures?were?lost，?our?memory?of?this?unexpected?encounter?remains?fresh?till?today.

結(jié)尾句4：Several?hours?later，?we?arrived?at?home?safe?and?sound，?but?we?realized?that?we?should?actually?do?something?to?help?the?hungry?bears.

[例4]?2020年1月浙江卷

故事梗概：寵物狗Poppy因?yàn)槟泻⑷ド洗髮W(xué)而悶悶不樂，家人給它帶來了新伙伴。男孩回家再見到Poppy，感到激動(dòng)和驚喜。

提煉主題：珍惜新朋友，適應(yīng)新生活。

擬好結(jié)尾：這篇故事細(xì)膩地描寫了家人間、家人與小動(dòng)物間的濃厚感情，其中還有描繪小狗與新伙伴嬉戲打鬧、小狗與主人久別重逢的溫馨場面，因此文章結(jié)尾可用“對話收尾法”解答男孩的疑問（句1），可用“畫面定格法”烘托男孩意外驚喜和欣慰的心情（句2），也可由Poppy找到新伙伴出發(fā)，描寫男孩聯(lián)想到自己應(yīng)多結(jié)交新朋友，去適應(yīng)大學(xué)的新環(huán)境（句3、句4），點(diǎn)亮主題。

結(jié)尾句1：His?parents?laughed?at?the?look?of?surprise?on?his?face.?“Its?Poppys?new?companion.”said?Mom.

結(jié)尾句2：Understanding?what?happened?immediately，?the?boy?embraced?two?little?puppies?tightly?and?smiled?with?relief.

結(jié)尾句3：Seeing?the?two?little?ones?playing?together?cheerfully，?the?boy?thought?about?himself，“I?should?also?learn?to?get?along?better?with?others?and?adapt?to?living?in?my?university.”

結(jié)尾句4：This?reminded?the?boy?of?his?college?life，?and?he?suddenly?realized?that?it?is?also?important?for?him?to?make?new?friends?and?adapt?to?the?new?environment.

[結(jié)尾實(shí)用素材]

詞匯表達(dá)積累：moved;?thankful;?grateful;?thrilling;?unforgettable;?cheerfully;?excitedly;?finally;?safe?and?sound;?keep/bear?sth.?in?mind;?memory;?encounter;?life?experience;?hold?the?firm?belief?that?...;?sth.?had?taught?sb.?a?life?lesson;?not?only...，?but?also...;?it?is?...?that?...;?it?is?...?for?sb.?to?do?...;?sb.?suddenly?realized?that?...;?Suddenly?it?dawned?on?sb.?that?...

主題好句背誦：

It?is?love/kindness?that?makes?the?world?go?around.

Even?small?acts?of?love/kindness?can?make?a?big?difference.

In?no?case?will?we?give?up?the?concern?and?love?for?our?families/children.

Where?there?is?great?love，?there?are?always?miracles.

Love/Kindness?is?one?thing?that?really?deserves?to?be?passed?on?from?one?to?another.

The?special?trip?was?deeply?engraved?in?my?mind.

Never?had?I?had?such?a?thrilling?yet?dangerous?experience/vacation?before.

The?thrilling?experience/vacation?will?never?fade?from?my?mind.

Even?today，?I?still?regard?this?experience?as?treasured?memory.

The?memory?of?this?unexpected?encounter?remains?fresh?till?today.

真正寫好結(jié)尾句，需要對故事主題進(jìn)行深層挖掘和點(diǎn)亮，再加詞匯表達(dá)的厚積薄發(fā)與高分好句的亮麗出場，便能為讀后續(xù)寫錦上添花。

責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青