林巍

Passage 1

[1] 預計到2020年，全國60歲以上老年人口將增加到2.55億人左右，占總人口比重提升到17.8%左右;高齡老年人將增加到2900萬人左右，獨居老人將增加到1.18億人左右。

[2] 涉老法規(guī)政策系統(tǒng)性、協(xié)調(diào)性、針對性、可操作性有待增強;城鄉(xiāng)區(qū)域老齡事業(yè)發(fā)展和養(yǎng)老體系建設不均衡問題突出;養(yǎng)老服務有效供給不足，質(zhì)量效益不高，人才隊伍短缺。

[3] 規(guī)劃提出目標，到2020年，老齡事業(yè)發(fā)展整體水平明顯提升，養(yǎng)老體系更加健全完善。社會保險、社會福利、社會救助等社會保障制度和公益慈善事業(yè)有效銜接，老年人的基本生活、基本醫(yī)療、基本照護等需求得到切實保障。

[4] 老齡事業(yè)發(fā)展和養(yǎng)老體系建設的法治化、信息化、標準化、規(guī)范化程度明顯提高。市場活力和社會創(chuàng)造力得到充分激發(fā)，養(yǎng)老服務和產(chǎn)品供給主體更加多元、內(nèi)容更加豐富、質(zhì)量更加優(yōu)良，以信用為核心的新型市場監(jiān)管機制建立完善。老年人合法權益得到有效保護，老年人參與社會發(fā)展的條件持續(xù)改善。

【參考譯文】

[1] It is expected that by 2020， the population aged over 60 will increase to about 255 million， accounting for approximately 17.8% of China’s total population. In the meantime， the number of the elderly will increase to about 29 million， while the number of the elderly living alone will increase to about 118 million.

[2] However， the current situation requires our urgent attention. Policies， regulations and laws concerning the elderly ought to be systematized， coordinated， specific and more practical; the development of urban， rural and regional ageing cause and the establishment of a service system are severely unbalanced; the elderly care service is inadequate， of low quality and suffering a shortage of talent in its team.

[3] The Plan sets certain targets： By 2020， the overall level of ageing cause will be obviously improved， the elderly care service substantially perfected. At the same time， social security systems （such as social insurance， social welfare and social assistance） will be effectively linked with public welfare and charity， so as to efficiently meet the demands of the elders’ basic conditions of living， medical care and nursing.

[4] Societally， significant progress will be made in legislation for and computerization， standardization and normalization of the old-age care undertaking and the pension system. With market vitality and social creativity being fully invigorated， the provision of pension services and products will be further diversified with more abundant supply and better quality. Meanwhile， a new market supervision mechanism with credit at its core will be fully established. As a result， the elders’ legitimate rights will also be more effectively protected， as conditions for them to participate in social development continuously improve.

【點評】

[1]中，“高齡老年人”不是一個精確的概念，各國、各時期的標準也不相同，似可用aging advanced population、old old等，但此處不妨統(tǒng)稱為the elderly。同時，其中涉及許多數(shù)字，因中英文里的計量單位不同，其換算需十分注意，如 2.55億=255 million、2900萬=29 million、1.18億=118 million等?！蔼毦永先恕彼瓶捎胦ld solitary people，但該詞組更多是指the aged without spouse，故不如用old people who live alone、the elderly living alone等。

[2]開頭便是“涉老法規(guī)政策系統(tǒng)性……”，為使英譯文不顯突兀，不妨增添一些詞語，如：However， the current situation requires our urgent attention.增詞不增意，從而起到銜接和連貫（coherence）的作用?！袄淆g事業(yè)”一般容易譯成old-age undertaking、the enterprise for elderly population、sernilizational enterprise等，但分析起來，這里指的是提高老年人的生活質(zhì)量，故可考慮用ageing cause?！坝行Ч┙o不足”，似乎是lack of sufficient supply，但結合具體語境，特別是顧及后面的“質(zhì)量效益不高，人才隊伍短缺”的表述，此處不妨用the effective public pension service is inadequate;同時，“人才隊伍短缺”的譯文前應加一動詞，以使意思更加完整。

[3]中，同樣，“社會保險”前的譯文亦缺乏銜接詞語，不妨插入At the same time;鑒于“社會保障制度”包括社會保險、社會福利、社會救助等，故可用括號處理，如social security systems （such as social insurance， social welfare and social assistance）;此處的“醫(yī)療”顯然不只是medical treatment，而是medical care，即廣義的醫(yī)療護理。

[4]進而談論老齡事業(yè)的社會化方面的問題，亦應加一狀語鋪墊，如 Societally，以作自然轉合?！耙孕庞脼楹诵牡男滦褪袌霰O(jiān)管機制”，其主語是“市場監(jiān)管機制”，前面的定語分別是“以信用為核心的”“新型”，而在譯文中，兩個不宜同時加在market supervision mechanism前面，特別是前一個，而更宜以介詞with轉化成短語，如with credit at its core。最后一句講老人的合法權益等，這是前面的措施和努力的結果，故不妨加入短語As a result，以形成前后的因果關系。

Passage 2

[1] 中國的改革發(fā)端于農(nóng)村，目的在于調(diào)節(jié)農(nóng)民和土地之間的關系。1978年之前，數(shù)億中國人還在為溫飽問題發(fā)愁，如今，經(jīng)過40年的發(fā)展，中國有7億多農(nóng)村貧困人口實現(xiàn)脫貧。

[2] 從1978年至1985年，農(nóng)村經(jīng)濟體制的深刻變革，為農(nóng)村經(jīng)濟的增長和貧困人口的大幅減少提供了強勁動力。按當時標準，有50%未解決溫飽的農(nóng)村人口在這期間解決了溫飽問題。按現(xiàn)在的扶貧標準，有超過1億農(nóng)村人口在這期間擺脫了貧困。這不僅為全面建設小康社會打下了堅實的基礎，而且為全人類的扶貧和發(fā)展做出了巨大貢獻。

[3] 1978年，安徽鳳陽縣小崗村的18戶農(nóng)民走出了中國農(nóng)村改革的第一步。破除了計劃經(jīng)濟體制的諸多束縛，實行以家庭聯(lián)產(chǎn)承包責任制為基礎的家庭經(jīng)營，獲得了可以自由耕種的承包土地，極大調(diào)動了生產(chǎn)積極性，使他們以巨大的熱情投入到農(nóng)業(yè)生產(chǎn)之中。

【參考譯文】

[1] China’s reform began in the countryside with the aim of adjusting the relationship between peasants and land. Before 1978， hundreds of millions of Chinese struggled with their daily food and clothing. Nowadays， after 40 years of reform and opening-up， more than 700 million rural poor people have been lifted out of poverty.

[2] From 1978 to 1985， the profound transformation of the rural economic system provided a strong impetus for the extraordinary growth of the rural economy and a dramatic reduction in the poverty-stricken population. In accordance with the standard at that time， half of the impoverished population in rural areas had been adequately fed and clothed during this period. By the current standard， however， over 100 million rural people had been lifted out of poverty within the same period. The practice has not only laid a solid foundation for China to build a moderately prosperous society in all respects， but also made great contributions to poverty alleviation and development of all mankind.

[3] In 1978， 18 peasants in Xiaogang village of Fengyang County， Anhui Province， took the first step of rural reform by practicing family management based on the household contract responsibility system， which broke many restrictions of the planned economy system. Having gained the right to freely farm their contracted land， peasants were thus greatly motivated to put their efforts into agricultural production.

【點評】

[1]中，“發(fā)端于”有started with、originated from、began 等?！罢{(diào)節(jié)……關系”可為regulate/adjust/balance relations/relationship?！盀闇仫枂栴}發(fā)愁”，較為直譯的，如worried about food and clothing;意譯的，如struggled with the basic necessities;綜合二者的，如struggled with their daily food and clothing。“脫貧”，正式文件的表述一般為poverty alleviation，使動方式to alleviate poverty，而口語化的更多，如“get rid of poverty”“overcome poverty”“get out of poverty”“throw off poverty”“be lifted out of poverty”“to lift… beyond the poverty line by doing…”，參考譯文采用了比較通俗的用法。

[2]中，“提供動力”，可用“provide/offer incentive for…”，或調(diào)換角度，用gained momentum for，或用被動語態(tài)“has/have been greatly powered/empowered by…”?！鞍串敃r標準”和“按現(xiàn)在標準”，可分別為according to / in accordance with the standard at that time和by the current standard / standard of nowadays等。“全面建設小康社會”是句頗具中國特色的話語，一般譯為build a well-off society in an all-round way / moderately prosperous society in all respects，這是句“中國英語”（Chinese English），但不同于“中國式英語”（Chinglish），Chinglish義為“l(fā)anguage which is a mixture of English and Chinese， especially a type of English that includes many Chinese words and/or follows Chinese grammar rules”，故大都不可取;前者主要指內(nèi)容而言，如one country and two systems、socialism with Chinese characteristics等，后者主要是形式上的“套用”，如“加快經(jīng)濟改革步伐”，譯成to accelerate the pace of economic reform，其中the pace of是中式思維，屬多余部分。同樣，“我們應集中全力，有效實現(xiàn)振興國營中小企業(yè)的目標。”一般譯成：Our all efforts should be focused on the objective of effectively strengthening the vitality of large and medium-sized state-owned enterprises.第一個下畫線部分屬Chinglish 表述，應刪去，而將strengthening the vitality of 簡化為revitalizing。故在翻譯這類文體時，應特別注重區(qū)分Chinese English和Chinglish。

[3]中，“破除了……束縛”可有多種表述，如“freed/liberated from the bonds of… / to deliver the people who are in bondage to…”等，由于涉及計劃經(jīng)濟體制，可用 broke many restrictions of the planned economy system。“家庭聯(lián)產(chǎn)承包責任制”亦為“中式話語”，一般譯為household contract responsibility system、 contract responsibility system、household responsibility system或the system of household contract responsibility，此處要加上“家庭經(jīng)營”（practicing family management）。“獲得了可以自由……”原文雖未分句，但譯文里應理解為具有獨立意思，故不妨以“Having the freedom to choose their own ways…”另起一句，以求確切。? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? □