By Shawn Mendes

一本正經(jīng)、彬彬有禮的國人從來也不會直抒胸臆，在圣節(jié)期間更是如此。雖然表面一團(tuán)和氣，但如果你get不到他們的言下之意，你可能無意之中就變成了“二貨”。來看看《每日電訊報(bào)》對英國人圣誕委婉語的“毒舌”翻譯。

T hey say:“Darling,your Nativity Play was a triumph.I’m so proud.”

英國人說：“親愛的，你的圣誕表演真是太成功了。我真為你驕傲。”

They mean:“I spent the entire shambolic production seething that you weren’t one of the leads and shall be having a stern word with your teacher.Also,I couldn’t tell which sheep you were.”

他們的意思是：“整個(gè)亂糟糟的演出期間我都在惱火為什么你沒能演個(gè)主角，我打算和你的老師好好談?wù)?。另外，我看不出你扮演的是哪只羊?！?/p>

“Pop round anytime.”

“歡迎隨時(shí)過來。”

“Preferably text first so we can make up an excuse.”

“最好來之前能發(fā)個(gè)短信，這樣我們才好編個(gè)理由（不讓你來）?！?/p>

“So what are your Christmas plans?”/“All ready for Christmas?”

“你圣誕有什么安排？”/“圣誕節(jié)的一切都準(zhǔn)備好了嗎？”

“I can’t think of anything else to say and this is December’s equivalent of weather smalltalk.Please keep the answer mercifully brief because I’m not actually interested.”

“我想不出還有什么別的話可說，十二月份談這個(gè)就像聊天氣一樣。麻煩你長話短說，因?yàn)槲也⒉皇钦娴母信d趣。”

“What’s this we’re watching?”

“我們在看的這是什么節(jié)目？”

“I hate it when you Philistines are in charge of the remote.”

“我討厭你們這些俗人掌握遙控器?！?/p>

“Town was a nightmare.The shops were rammed.”

“城里就是場惡夢。商店里都是人擠人?！?/p>

“I snuck off to the pub.”

“我溜去酒吧了?！?/p>

“Well done,children.The Christmas tree looks gorgeous.”

“做得好，孩子們。這棵圣誕樹看起來美極了?！?/p>

“It’s a total mess which offends my eyes.I’ll redecorate it when you go to bed.”

“這堆垃圾讓我無法直視。等你們睡覺后我會重新裝飾?！?/p>

“Secret Santa’s just a bit of fun.”

“神秘圣誕老人游戲挺有趣的?！?/p>

“It’s no fun whatsoever.We only persist with this lame,universally loathed tradition for fear of being called a killjoy if we stop.”

“真是無聊至極。我們之所以還延續(xù)這個(gè)大家都厭惡的蹩腳傳統(tǒng)是害怕被人說我們掃興?！?/p>

“Merry Christmas to you and yours.”

“祝你和你的家人圣誕快樂?！?/p>

“I can’t remember your family’s names.Or indeed,whether you even have a family.Ah,well.Sue me.”

“我記不住你家人的名字。事實(shí)上，我連你有沒有成家也不清楚。隨便了。你不爽我也無所謂?！?/p>

“Of course!The more the merrier.”

“當(dāng)然了！人越多越開心?！?/p>

“Please don’t come.”

“請不要來。”

“I’ve kept the receipt,just in case.”

“我留著收據(jù)，以防萬一?！?/p>

“If you don’t love this gift and wear it immediately,I’m going to be mortally offended.”

“如果你不喜歡這個(gè)禮物，沒有馬上穿上它，我將會非常生氣。”

“That’s so thoughtful.It’s exactly what I wanted.”

“你想的真是周到。這正是我想要的?！?/p>

“I hate it,I’m having trouble arranging my face into an approximation of gratitude and everyone can tell I’m lying.”

“我討厭這個(gè)禮物，我正在努力擠出感恩的表情，但每個(gè)人都看得出我在撒謊?！?/p>

“Shall we play a board game?”

“我們要不要下一盤棋？”

“Shall we have a blazing family argument?”

“我們要不要來一場激烈的家庭爭論？”

“Christmas is about the kids really,isn’t it?”

“圣誕節(jié)就是圍著孩子轉(zhuǎn)的，不是嗎？”

“Can’t stand the spoilt,entitled little brats.Pass the brandy.”

“受不了這些被寵壞的自以為是的小屁孩。把白蘭地遞給我。”

“You look festive.”

“你看起來很有節(jié)日氣息。”

“You look drunk.”

“你看起來喝得很醉?！?/p>

“I couldn’t eat another thing.”

“我再也吃不下了?！?/p>

“Oh go on,then.I could just about squeeze in a turkey-and-a-stuffing sandwich,cheese and biscuits,two mince pies and several dozen Quality Street.”

“繼續(xù)上菜吧。我還能吃下一個(gè)火雞填料三明治、奶酪餅干、兩個(gè)肉餡餅和幾條花街巧克力。”

“Lunch might be a little later than planned.”

“午飯可能比計(jì)劃的要晚一點(diǎn)。”

“The turkey won’t cook and I’m having a nervous breakdown.”

“我已經(jīng)精神崩潰了，火雞也不能幫我做飯?！?/p>

“Where’s your Christmas spirit?”

“你的圣誕精神到哪去了？”

“I’m a tedious kidult who gets over-excited about Christmas (probably over-compensating for some long-buried childhood trauma)and insists on enforced jollity.”

“我是個(gè)對圣誕節(jié)過度興奮的乏味的超齡兒童 （很可能是要補(bǔ)償我埋藏許久的一些童年創(chuàng)傷），我堅(jiān)持圣誕節(jié)一定要興高采烈地度過?！?/p>

“Have a good one.”

“過個(gè)好節(jié)。”

“I don’t know who you are.Go away.”

“我不認(rèn)識你是誰。走開?！?/p>

“I’m hoping for a White Christmas.It’s so magical.”

“我希望能擁有白色圣誕。太夢幻了?！?/p>

“Snow’s a colossal pain in the backside but I’m trying to sound romantic.”

“下雪天非常讓人討厭，但是我想顯得自己浪漫一點(diǎn)?！?/p>

“Of course we’re going to church.It’s important at this time of year.”

“我們當(dāng)然要去教堂。這在一年中的這個(gè)時(shí)候是很重要的事?！?/p>

“I don’t want to go either but Mum will get upset if we don’t.”

“我也不想去，但是如果我們不去，媽媽會難過的?！?/p>

“That’s perfect,thank you.Looks delicious.”

“很完美，謝謝你。看起來好美味?！?/p>

“Too many sprouts,not enough pigs-in-blankets,but better be polite.”

“蔬菜太多肉太少，但是還是禮貌一些的好?！?/p>

“Look what they got me!”

“看看他們給我送了什么！”

“You think of something nice to say,because I can’t.”

“你幫我想出一些好聽的話吧，因?yàn)槲蚁氩怀鰜怼！?/p>

“I’ve got an upset tummy from all the rich food.”

“我肚子不舒服，因?yàn)槌缘锰湍伭恕！?/p>

“I’ve got an upset tummy from all the binge-drinking.”

“我肚子不舒服，因?yàn)榫坪鹊锰珒戳?。?/p>

“Thought I might go out for a walk.”

“我想我也許應(yīng)該出去走走?！?/p>

“If I have to stay cooped up in the house with my relatives for one minute longer,I’m going to commit a hate crime.”

“如果我和我的親戚們再多待一分鐘，我就要因?yàn)槌鸷薅缸锪??！?/p>