孫佳慧

From cradle to crèche， women are constantly being told what to do

面對他人的指手畫腳，不要再做“好好小姐”，要學會勇敢說“不”

Although China has advocated gender equality for decades， the patriarchy is still alive and well. Being a woman in todays society is tough—during each stage of a womans life， she will be instructed on what decisions to make， to be a perfectly well-behaved “好好小姐” （Ms. Hao Hao）. She is also more likely to be judged by her gender instead of her personality or achievements.

For many， sexism begins at conception， when parents try to divine the gender of the fetus in creative ways （doctors are not allowed to reveal this information， to prevent gender-selective abortions.） After the birth， people may be quick to offer opinions to her parents—even if nobody explicitly says， “I am sorry you had a girl，” their attitudes are unmistakable：

A daughter will bring you less trouble than a son. At least you dont need to save money to buy her a marital home in the future.

Sh8ng n）'9r b@ sh8ng 9rzi sh0ngx～n， zh#sh2o n@ b%y7ng z2nqi1n g0i t` m2i h$nf1ng le.

生女兒比生兒子省心，至少你不用攢錢給她買婚房了。

As “Little Hao Hao” becomes a toddler， she begins to explore the world， sometimes making a mess in the process. Her elders admonish her for not behaving like “女孩子家” （n）h1izijia， girl）， and conforming to certain standards：

Why are you so mischievous for a girl？

Y！ g- n）h1izijia， z0nme zh-me t1oq#？

一個女孩子家，怎么這么淘氣？

Youre a girl， so act like a girl！

N）h1izijia y3o y6u n）h1i de y3ngzi！

女孩子家要有女孩的樣子！

When Hao Hao is old enough to go to school， she is a good student： hardworking， disciplined， and good at exams. Her teachers seem pleased， until one day， she overhears：

Female students outperform male students now because they are better at rote learning. When the courses become more difficult， they may fall behind.

N）sh8ng xi3nz3i b@ n1nsh8ng xu9x！ h2o sh# y～nw-i t`men g-ng sh3nch1ng s@j# y#ngb-i， d0ng k-ch9ng n1nd& ji`d3 le， t`men k0n9ng ji& g8nbush3ng le.

女生現(xiàn)在比男生學習好是因為她們更擅長死記硬背，等課程難度加大了，她們可能就跟不上了。

The girl is upset to hear that her achievements are just a gender-based fluke， but instead of speaking up， she knuckles down and works harder， preparing for her university entrance exams， or gaokao. A good score allows Hao Hao to attend a top university—but which major to choose？ As usual， everyone is ready with their two cents：

Girls arent suited for science. Youre better off choosing from the liberal arts.

N）sh8ng b% sh#h9 xu9 l@k8. N@ zu#h2o h1ishi xu2n g- w9nk8 zhu`ny-.

女生不適合學理科。你最好還是選個文科專業(yè)。

They also have opinions on which university she should attend：

Why does a girl need to go so far from home？ Just select a local school.

N）h1izi l！ji` n3me yu2n g3nm1？ Xu2n y# su6 b0nsh0ng de xu9xi3o ji& x！ng le.

女孩子離家那么遠干嗎？選一所本省的學校就行了。

Assuming Hao Hao accepts their advice， goes to a nearby university， and majors in a “soft” subject： She makes the most of it and has a great university experience. However， after she graduates， she must again make a tough decision： Aim for higher education or join the job market？ But for the adults around her， that isnt even a question：

Why does a girl need so much education？

N）h1izi d% n3me du4 sh$ y6u sh9nme y7ng？

女孩子讀那么多書有什么用？

Dont tell me you want to be a female PhD. Youll never be able to get married.

Bi9 g3osu w6 n@ ji`ngl1i xi2ng d% ch9ng n）b5sh#. N3 n@ g`i ji3 bu ch$qu le.

別告訴我你將來想讀成女博士，

那你該嫁不出去了。

So， rather than risk her marriage eligibility by getting “over-educated，” Hao Hao looks for a job instead. There are plenty of options： some are challenging and stressful， but well-paid； others are stable and easy， but with little room for career advancement. Shes urged to choose the latter：

Girls dont need to push themselves too hard. A stable job is good enough.

N）h2izi m9i b#y3o t3i p～n， g4ngzu7 w0nd#ng ji& h2o.

女孩子沒必要太拼，工作穩(wěn)定

就好。

Still， she finds a job she likes and excels in it. She isnt immune， though， from judgment in the workplace. If she accomplishes anything， sex is the reason：

She was promoted in such a short time. Im sure she used the casting couch.

T` zh-me ku3i ji& sh8ngzh！ le， w6 g2n k0nd#ng t` sh# b-i “qi1ngu～z9” le.

她這么快就升職了，我敢肯定她是被“潛規(guī)則”了。

If she makes a mistake， gender is the cause：

This task shouldnt have been assigned to her. Women are “l(fā)ong of hair， short of brains.”

Zh-ge g4ngzu7 ji& b&g;`i ji`og0i t`. N）r9n d3od@ sh# “t5ufa ch1ng ji3nshi du2n”.

這個工作就不該交給她。女人到底是“頭發(fā)長，見識短”。

If she gets into a disagreement with a colleague， its because shes a woman：

Wherever there are women， there is drama.

N）r9n du4 de d#fang sh#r ji& du4.

女人多的地方事兒就多。

Meanwhile， Hao Haos family and friends are pressuring her to get married：

“A man at 30 is a flower； a woman at 30 is tofu dregs.” If you dont get married soon， youll end up a spinster.

“N1nr9n s`n sh！ y# zh～ hu`， n）r9n s`n sh！ d7ufuzh`.” N@ z3i b& ji9h$n ji& ch9ng l2og$niang le.

“男人三十一枝花，女人三十豆腐渣。”你再不結(jié)婚就成老姑娘了。

So she duly gets married before turning 30， and soon， her husband suggests that she spends more time at home：

Since ancient times， it has been “men outside， women inside.”

Z#g^ y@l1i ji&sh;# “n1n zh^ w3i， n） zh^ n-i” ma.

自古以來就是“男主外，女主內(nèi)”嘛。

For women， family should come first.

N）r9n h1ishi y3o y@ ji`t！ng w9i zh7ng.

女人還是要以家庭為重。

Simultaneously， the media tells her：

A woman is supposed to be a virtuous wife and a good mother.

N）r9n y～ngg`i zu7 ge xi1nq～ li1ngm^.

女人應該做個賢妻良母。

But even if Hao Hao gives in and becomes a full-time housewife， its difficult to live up to societys expectations：

A good woman should be graceful in the drawing room and skillful in the kitchen.

H2on）r9n y～ngg`i “sh3ng de t～ngt1ng， xi3 de ch%f1ng”.

好女人應該“上得廳堂，下得廚房”。

And the nagging doesnt stop there. Soon everyone is expecting the patter of tiny feet：

You have been married for so long. Its time to have a baby， or you will get too old.

N@ d4u ji9h$n zh-me ji^ le， g`i y3o h1izi le. Z3i b& sh8ng n@ ji& l2o le.

你都結(jié)婚這么久了，該要孩子了。再不生你就老了。

A woman is incomplete if she doesnt become a mother.

M9i d`ngguo m`ma de n）r9n sh# b&

w1nzh0ng de.

沒當過媽媽的女人是不完整的。

This once high-achieving student and successful employee is now pregnant—congratulations！ Unfortunately， its a girl. At the hospital， people offer glib words of comfort： “A daughter is not so bad…” Only now does Hao Hao think of the comebacks she should have used years ago：

A daughter is as good as a son.

Sh8ng 9r sh8ng n） d4u y！y3ng.

生兒生女都一樣。

Girls can also be playful and mischievous.

N）h1i y0 hu# t`nw1nr， y0 hu# w1np！.

女孩也會貪玩兒，也會頑皮。

Girls， like boys， can be creative and logical.

N）sh8ng h9 n1nsh8ng y！y3ng y6u chu3ngz3ol# h9 lu5ji s～w9i.

女生和男生一樣有創(chuàng)造力和邏輯

思維。

Girls can go anywhere in the world.

N）sh8ng y0 n9ng z6un1n chu2ngb0i.

女生也能走南闖北。

Girls also have the right to seek higher education.

N）sh8ng y0 y6u qu1nl# ji8sh7u g`od0ng ji3oy&.

女生也有權(quán)利接受高等教育。

Women should care about their careers too， and seek out challenges.

N）r9n y0 y6u sh#y-x～n， y0 n9ng sh-ngr-n y6u ti2ozh3nx#ng de g4ngzu7.

女人也有事業(yè)心， 也能勝任有挑戰(zhàn)

性的工作。

Women have the right to decide when， or whether， to get married.

N）r9n y6uqu1n ju9d#ng z#j@ sh9nme sh！hou ji9h$n， hu7zh0 ji9 bu ji9h$n.

女人有權(quán)決定自己什么時候結(jié)婚，

或者結(jié)不結(jié)婚。

Women can also be breadwinners.

N）r9n y0 k0y@ zhu3nqi1n y2ngji`.

女人也可以賺錢養(yǎng)家。

A woman is more than just a wife and mother.

N）r9n b& zh@sh# q～zi h9 m^q～n.

女人不只是妻子和母親。

Women and men are equal.

N）r9n h9 n1nr9n sh# p！ngd0ng de.

女人和男人是平等的。